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2 days ago. Oct 22, 2020, 5:54 PM

This was posted in a discussion group I am in:



This post we are to be RESPECTFUL!! There will be NO hate , bullying, condescending tones, sarcasm and etc. on this thread! You can either scroll and roll or agree to disagree with a HEALTHY debate!!

I'm old school. I come from a different time in BDSM chronology, having started my journey over 20 years ago in the fall of 1999. At that time our subculture was still, for the most part, underground in clubs like Havoc, Club Alpha, The Darkroom, Volcano and others. I'd like to preclude what I'm about to say wth the idea that some will disagree with my thoughts on the subject of BRATS. Likely, the dissent, I suspect, will primarily be posited by those whom are TNG post Gen X; Millennials and Gen Z as most of those individuals,in my experience, have learned most, if not all of what they know in regard to BDSM from the internet. Before, anyone decides to go on a diatribe on how "wrong" I am, remember, this is my opinion and my experience that I write from. I'm not denigrating anyone's choices, dynamic or ideas. Respect given is respect earned and, as such, all I ask is that you listen to my thoughts with an open mind and I, in turn, would offer the same. My training stretched over a 3 year period both as a sub and a Dom. Something that many now view with shock and disbelief. How can you be trained as BOTH? Years ago, when real life training took place, the House I was associated with set out the rules that anyone who chose to take the Dominant path must first train to be a sub. You must know, with absolute confidence, the state that your submissive or bottom is in and, the best way to understand that, is to experience it through real time submission. I am a Dominant. Some of my personality characteristics we're natural as a Dominant. Other aspects had to be cultivated. If anyone, tells you that they were born a Dominant and that they didn't have to work for any of it is both narcissistic and a liar. We all are obliged to learn, no matter what out path in life may be. At that time during my training, defining the descriptors of BDSM was straight forward, as it is today. The acronym BDSM is 4 letters that has 6 associated descriptors. The letters representative of the descriptors representative of the BDSM subculture are: Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. That is the 6 core aspects of BDSM. Nothing more, nothing less. At this point, some may, choose to attempt to redefine the descriptors of BDSM, but, these are not my definitions. These descriptions came well before my introduction to the lifestyle, so, for those who would choose to attempt to commit to revisionist ideas within the framework of the lifestyle it should be known that it's not your place to redefine the structure of our culture in an image that you feel is more befitting to what your ideas of what BDSM should be. BDSM has a history and culture that existed long before many of us were even born and while we may add our stitches to the fabric that tradition it is not up to us to reinvent the wheel simply because we feel it needs to better fit our personal ideas of what it should be. The reason, I make, these points is this: the tradition of BDSM also has 6 titles. Again, no more and no less. Those titles are Dom, Master, Top, sub, slave and bottom. The appended frivolous titles that "BDSM 2.0" has taken the liberty to add such as Daddy, Mommy, princess, Brat Tamer, Brat, Primal, pet, prey, etc. These are not titles within traditional BDSM, regardless of what anyone may choose to debate. Take it or leave it, these are the facts of BDSM. The previously mentioned aspects are secondary appendations to the actual traditional titles. So, while these appended secondary aspects are facets of the primary personality traits of the title holder, they are not in and of themselves standalone titles.

I am leading up to something with all of this seemingly extraneous information. With all of the previous thoughts being stated, I can now get back to the point that I wanted to address, BRATS. I ask you to remember that this is my opinion and my opinion only. I am not stating these ideas as an objective truth or fact, it is my personal subjective opinion. In reading and contemplating the meme posted, along with the thoughts contained herein, I would first like to make a disclaimer: this is not a personal attack on any individual, on brats, on anyone's dynamic or anyone's personal preferences. With that being said, the opening line of the meme says enough for me to already to detest the idea of a BRAT. They "want to wrestle." I don't want to deal with that. I have no patience for it. I have expectations and requirements for my sub, I'm not here to be a babysitter. I'm not here to put bad behaviors into extinction. If you're not familiar with that term, it comes from psychology and applied behavioral therapy. The next line of the meme attempts to explain "That's why they brat." Personally, I find the reasoning wholly irrelevant. I honestly don't care why it's done. I find defiance games of a so called brat appalling in every sense. Training, working with or having a sub shouldn't be "challenging" in that sense. If I wanted psychological dramatics, of challenge you to a game of chess rather than take on a "BRAT." Of it sounds like I'm intolerant to that behavior, it's because I am. In a lifestyle based on respect of title I find that there is no place for that type of behavior.
The greatest contradiction of the "submissive brat" sub-genre in this meme is explained when the author states "They want to end up on their knees, they just don't want to get there willingly." Although we could debate about the consent aspect of that statement, we would be taking that idea out of context. The whole idea of a BRAT wanting to "end up on their knees, they just don't want to get there willingly" is an idea in diametric opposition to itself - and in opposition to the traditional manner in which a power exchange takes place. Think about what's being said... If someone is unwilling, they ARE NOT submitting. The idea of the so called "submissive brat" is a contradiction, at least according to how it's defined in this meme.

In the next paragraph the opening line states that "They want to feel Dominance and be overcome by it." Dominance and submission can be achieved, obviously enough, without the inexcusable antics of a grade school shit show. The tantrums or oppositional defiance exhibited by a so called BRAT is deplorable and often embarassing at the very minimum. The submissive is a reflection of the Dominant and what poorer reflection could one have than a brat acting out. Those displays of acting out show a full lack of control on the part of the Dominant.

The author then states that a bratty submissive is still a submissive, but, by the author's own admission earlier in the meme, they claim that a brat is "unwilling" so, is it really submission? No. By the author's own definition, it's not. Again, the idea of a submissive brat is a contradiction in terms.

The fact that the author then needs to state that "they [brats] have a different language than some and need a Dom willing to play thier games" is another statement on the reputation of defiance that brats have on the BDSM community, which is oppositional to submission, traditional BDSM lifestyle structure and power exchanges. Simply put, people who adhere to traditional tenants of BDSM don't want to put up with that shit. This may be an idea that some who believe in the "New School BDSM" lifestyle attempt to refute, but, again, tradition is what it is and is not up to us to try to redefine it.

Finally, the author notes that "it's a game they want to lose but they're going to make you earn that victory and always test you to see if you have what it takes to win." If I want that type of dynamic, I'll step into an MMA octagon and take up martial arts with a similarity classed opponent.

Summed up, in my dynamic and my ideas of the traditional BDSM lifestyle, I have no place nor patience for the BRAT attitude or behavior because I find it to be directly opposed to numerous aspects of traditional BDSM. I know some will dissent on my views, as is their right and they may do so as this may be nothing more than a debate of "old school" meets "new school" but, personally, I think it's more about tradition versus revisionism.

3 days ago. Oct 20, 2020, 8:52 PM

4 days ago. Oct 19, 2020, 9:50 PM

6 days ago. Oct 17, 2020, 9:28 PM

A true Dom knows that exciting her body is the easy part.....

but can you quiet her mind?

Can you lead her down into the blissful stillness?

Into the calm that she craves...

1 week ago. Oct 15, 2020, 9:33 PM

I can't feel my Dominance

Without you giving your submissiveness.