Online now
Online now

My journey

Has been through hell and back and this is just me finding myself again
3 hours ago. Apr 22, 2021, 2:22 PM

I find pleasure in my pain…

This masochism isn’t from whips and chains, Nah this comes from the welts life has given me, For a while I was locked into my body trying to free my mind, so as the lashes laid across my skin, I cried out because I seemed to have forgotten the safety word,

Who in the hell could get off like this? It seems like the ropes got tighter, the screams got louder, and the lashes got deeper….but somehow I needed it, I wanted it, I couldn’t get off without it,

See when life tried to gag me when most others would choke, when she bit into my chest tearing into my flesh, I simply fell to my knees and submitted, and perseverance turned to passion, endurance turned to excitement, and hard times gave me hard ons, because nothing could make me reach my climax in life better than what life dished out. Life loves it rough whether on top or bottom and I think I do too….

13 hours ago. Apr 22, 2021, 4:26 AM

Where is my favorite place to worship you?
On my knees…

How can I let you know that I’m feeling small and in need of your warmth?
On my knees…

Where do I feel safe and protected by you?
On my knees…

How can I fully contemplate the majesty of your domination?
On my knees…

How can I give you pleasure unlike anything you’ve ever known?
On my knees…

How can I show my complete devotion to you?
On my knees…

Where will I happily spend the rest of my life?
On my knees…

1 day ago. Apr 21, 2021, 3:10 AM

I hate being punished.

But also, I kind of like it.

Confused yet? :) I'll explain.

I have a love-hate relationship with punishment from my Dom. Punishment is something I will go to great lengths to avoid. Whining, pleading, or--my favorite--using logic to reason my way out of it. At the same time, I think the idea of it is very sexy. It's a turn-on to imagine him having so much control and such sway in my life. Also, I'm finding it really helps clear the air.

2 days ago. Apr 20, 2021, 6:27 AM

Finally after a lot of self doubt, confusion and temptation I did find the right path to be on.  Has found that in my Wolf, He has been able to bring out things in me that no one else has been able to.

6 days ago. Apr 16, 2021, 4:31 PM

Those times when you say something as a joke but then it is taken seriously. Yeah I fucked up AGAIN!!!!! deep sighs

1 week ago. Apr 11, 2021, 6:26 AM

We all have those days where we question everything. Am I smart enough? Am I too fat? Do my clothes look ok? Am I pretty? Do people like me? As a submissive, other questions on top of these can come in to play as well. Did I please my Dominant? Am I submissive enough? Am I worthy of being his? Is my body good enough?

While self doubt is natural and all humans do this sometimes, continuously doubting yourself and your abilities can be self destructive to yourself and to your relationship. Dominants want submissives that are proud of themselves and their positions. They don't want someone that is constantly doubting their abilities or their looks. If you are constantly thinking and worrying about these things, when do you have time to think about the wants and needs of your Dominant?

1 week ago. Apr 10, 2021, 4:31 AM

If I had a single flower for every time I think of You, I could walk forever in my garden ....

1 week ago. Apr 9, 2021, 3:03 AM

We're all searching for something.  That special Someone.  The meaning of life.  Where we belong.  Our path.  Our purpose.  Unfortunately, there's no map for those things. No website that can tell you exactly how to reach it.  The best you get is a good guess....and even then sometimes those guesses aren't the best guesses.

2 weeks ago. Apr 8, 2021, 5:05 AM

What do you do when there is no words? What do you do when feelings are there but you don't know how to label them? What do you do when everything so dearly loved is so far away?

2 weeks ago. Apr 7, 2021, 2:51 AM

Deep down, you might already be thinking about the consequences if the relationship breaks down. The more you invest yourself in the relationship, the bigger the fear gets.

This fear could have stemmed from previous painful breakups or bad relationships, or from seeing the people around you get hurt from their relationships, such as your friends’ break-ups, constant fighting.

The idea is: If you don’t open yourself to someone – then you don’t get hurt if things go wrong. Though I’ll share with you – my fear fed itself over time and became too intense for me to handle. If you don’t resolve this, no doubt yours will too. 

So at times all that is left to do is to run, the fear of being hurt again becomes too much, not matter how much you may care or love the other person.