Hello, loyal reader! Tis I, Cozubia! Back again to be weird! Time to get excited!
Not like that!
Ok, maybe like that…
Anyway, how are you doing today? I’m doing great! You didn’t ask. Why would you? This isn’t a conversation! You’re reading! Why would you ask me questions knowing this has already been written?? And why did I answer??
I have no idea what that was all about. Anyway, my dear and loyal reader, todays post is little awkward, as you can tell by the title. Specifically, awkward words for body parts, because let’s face it, they exist!
The idea behind this blog came from a conversation with my slutty little angel. I write a lot of stories for her. Some have been turned into blogs, some have not. But I like to write them! And the reception of them is always positive. But the more I write, the more I realize I fall into habits.
For example, “cock” gets used almost exclusively when referring to… well, you know *casually points at crotch*. But it’s because I struggle with other words. I know all kinds of them, so it’s not a vocabulary issue. But you have cock and dick. You can also have penis, member, throbbing girth, love stick, meat stick, and Eduardo. But only a couple of those are really useful. The others sound like a forced euphemism for a word that’s too vulgar to say.
“I’m not sliding my penis inside you.” That’s laughable to me to even read.
“Lick my love stick”? The fuck is that? A song from a hair band in the 80s?
And this is one of the easier parts to name.
Let’s look at women’s bodies! No. I’m not showing pictures! Those are just for me.
We’re going to start up top with a woman’s chest. We have tits (or the more formal and scientific term: titties), and breasts. There are other minor options I suppose. Melons, jugs, dirty pillows, milkers, and so many other random names. But in the context of written narration of a sexual nature, the options are really limited.
“I reach up and squeeze your fun bags as I softly moan your name,” umm… what? That sound you hear is every woman’s crotch drying up faster than a glass of spilled milk and Shamwow. Remember that guy? Of course you do. That crazy dude was on all the drugs!
Let’s keep exploring the female form, shall we? This is like the weirdest biology class ever. No pictures, and all the words.
Pussy. Cunt. Twat. Vagina. Core. Muff. Bearded clam. Kitty. Angus. There are many names for the female sex organ. But again, only a couple are really viable options.
And of course you have to match word intensity as well! That’s a fun twist! But saying “I’m going to stick my weenie in your twat,” is a good way to get throat punched. And rightfully so.
And when we get to the finer details, because guys, when righting a good sexy story, the devil is in the details, you’re even more limited!! Nipples are simple. It works. Clit. Simple. It works too. A woman’s… err… lower lips? Not so much! Pussy lips sounds dumb! Labia sounds like a country! Sure, you can say, “Now softly rub your lips for me,” and she may get it. But, she may also be sitting there stroking her face, and can you blame her? It’s too ambiguous.
I write stories. I’m good with words. Although some could argue that after this blog. That’s fair. But given that there are countless ways to enjoy this lifestyle, why are we so limited in our word choices? It seems unfair. Because the good words get used. But if you don’t want to be repetitious and fall into those habits of using the same words over and over, you have to change it up. Which means you’re going to have to deal with the awkward words on occasion.
Damn.
Well, my dear and loyal reader, I suppose I’m don’t with my drunk my sober tirade over the English language.
Time to go put my Eduardo in my slut’s Angus!