Well fellow Cage kinksters and alike, it’s that time of year where W/we all look forward to the celebrating with family and friends the jolly Christmas holiday and getting excited about the expectations of Santa Coming to Town! Below describes My experiences and thoughts of years’ of Christmas past and the undoubtable Ground Hog days that I go through to prepare for Good Ole Saint Nick’s arrival. Hold on tightly to the reindeer reins!
Walks into the room, all tangled up in strings of Christmas lights as I have painstakingly been checking to see if they all work in preparation of putting them up on My Christmas tree and My domain! I am spitting angry and frustrated damn it!!! So many questions come to mind as to this why I put Myself through this torture, that I would gladly trade for a spanking from every woman on this site and any others sites I am not on!!!
First question that comes to My mind is why is that when one damn bulb on a string of 1000 blows out causes the whole freaking string not to work? Who the hell was so damn Sadistic bastard to come up with that damn idea????? He probably sits at home…quietly laughing to himself, knowing he has created something that is meant to brighten E/everyone’s tree and domain with the Christmas spirit; but knows in truth, the chaos and hell those strings of lights put the unsuspecting, innocent holiday revelers through!!! *Goes to Google to find who created this contraption and to see if he is still living or not, so I know where to have Santa deliver not just a chunk of coal, but a whole freaking truck load!!!*
Next question. Why is it W/we do all W/we can to put O/ourselves into the holiday spirit; Christmas music, watching Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer on TV, light a Christmas smelling scented candle, and wear that embarrassing elf hat… (admit it, I ain’t the only One that does!) …when you go to check the lights out and then…ONE….yes one bulb quickly ruins that well thought out mood!!! Are you seeing a pattern here? You get so frustrated that you begin to think of evil things; like you go change the music to some head banger music, you look for Rudolf only to catch that red shiny nose beast and make venison of him, to use the wonderfully scented candle to burn that damn string of lights and the Christmas tree down, and finally replace the elf’s cap for the Grinch’s !!!!!
Damn am I having so much fun now!!!! I get to thinking how is it that you had all the strings of lights working during last year’s Christmas and you were careful to place them in a storage bin believing it will be a snap just to pull them out and put them up in no time the following year right?? So the next year when W/we all expect Jolly Saint Nick to come a knocking; W/we all go and pull out the 5 huge bins of Christmas lights and other precious ornaments up from the storage cage 2 flights downstairs. Once again, you have prepped and set the mood as I mentioned above and the first thing you do is pull the first string of Christmas lights knowing they all will be working just as you put them away!! Low and behold; it doesn’t work!!! Right away your Christmas spirit goes right down the tubes, mumbling and cussing up a storm!!! You wonder how the hell is it possible??? You know all the Christmas lights worked when you carefully placed them into the storage bins last year? Did someone get into the storage cage and purposely mess with the lights just to fu*k with your Christmas spirit again? You start having flashbacks to the Christmases of years past, remembering the horrors of how long it took just to find that one freaking bulb on the string of 1000, swapping out each and every single bulb out until you have found the “One” that is peeing on your joyous parade!!! Your eyes begin to have a twitch, your smile immediately turns upside down, your forehead begins to sweat, your cats run for cover for they seen this happen every years past. Not a pretty site people!!!! As like every year before this Christmas you begrudgely and painstakingly go through checking the string of lights again; swearing a solemn vow to yourself, you are going to change your religion just to get away from having to celebrate next year’s Christmas!!!
So, after hours and hours of checking each Christmas light strings that you have planned to use, the Christmas spirit is gone, you call your shrink from last year to schedule another appointment to have another talk about what the true meaning of Christmas is, and be reminded that the New Year is just around the corner; where you are expected to remember to take the good memories with you, and leave old past bad memories behind you. Hell, all I want to do after each talk is start My New Year early and drink Myself stupid and pass out until the real New Year arrives!!
What happened to the good ole days, where W/we would go out with empty jelly jars and collect lightning bugs to place them in the jars to make O/our own special Christmas lights? Sure it took a bit longer to collect enough to light up the tree and brighten the domain and most of the lightning bugs would be dead before Christmas arrived; but damn it seemed so much more satisfying somehow and the fun of being out in nature when collecting those little buggers really seemed to count much more!!
I know there has been other newer methods to further simplify lighting up the Christmas tree and domain that has/had been developed since then; like using little candles. Well, Me being One who is always looking for new ways to make life easier; I jump at any new fangle ideas to see how well it works and to keep up with the Jones’ next door (this is a story for another time). Well I bought into the candle thing, hook, line and sinker!! It seemed like a rational thing to do? These little candles were designed like little lanterns where you would simply light each wick safely within the plastic cover of each ornament; simple right? Well, I will leave it to Y/you A/all as to imagine what happened afterwards. Just a hint, I had to move to another complex? *sad face*
Well Cage kinkster and alike, I am glad I was able to share some of My Christmas cheer and misery to you; I consider this therapy!! I want to take this time to wish each and every kinkster on site; a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!! I wish that each of you don’t ever have to experience My Christmas cheer as I have had over the years!! As Tiny Tim would say “God Bless each and every one of Y/you!”