Could do betterer.

A work in progress featuring stuff and words scraped from the archives and fresh leavings of a perverted odd duck.
5 days ago. Wed 14 Mar 2018 05:38:00 PM IST

Slow days are meant for silly games.. enjoy. 


Madlibs for bloggers!!! Just fill in or check the box that best applies, and you too can have your very own blog!  Read it to yourself or your friends for hours of fun and laughter!!!*


[Cryptic Teaser Sentence Fragment Title]

I am a:

  •  Dominant
  • submissive
  • other
  • meat popsicle


Pick from the following topics(choose one):

  • vague generalities without specifics
  • small furry mammals of North America
  • intensely personal issues
  • Dear Penthouse Forum; I never dreamed it would happen to me....
  • semantic debate about common terms
  • [picture]
  • my current relationship and what a mess it is
  • [picture with words]
  • my current relationship and how perfect it is
  • my past relationship
  • [Inspirational poster]
  • my ideal partner



I identify as:

  • Sir/Master/Daddy
  • Princess/Babygirl/Godess
  • one of the above with gender changed
  • Batman
  • [Greek letter of your choosing]
  • [Celtic/Aboriginal/African name recently given to you]
  • Dave
  • leeloodallasmultipass
  • Badges?  Badges?!? We don't need no STINKING BADGES!!!


I will use the following fallacies(check all that apply):

  • straw man
  • ad hominem attacks
  • argument from authority
  • no true Scotsman
  • argumentum ad populum
  • appeal to emotion
  • non sequiturs

I will be referring to those I disagree with as:

  • Fakes
  • Instas
  • Wannbes
  • Huckleberries
  • 50 Shades types
  • Vanilla
  • Predators
  • Clones
  • Rebel scum
  • Constable Snidanko
  • Zorg

Spelling and grammar.

  • Are critical to ensuring that your message is received properly.
  • Is teh stuffs i can do i dunt due beecuz there are period pargraph brake quesion mark?
  • Eye weel bee tipping those on a funicular worth Otto corrupt tatering my weeds.
  • Yep.  Got them around here somewhere.. Coffee first.
  • Seno ekto gamut!


Also, [choose two]

  • I wanna holler the loud funny words!  I LIKE DARREN!!! HE IS MY FRIEND!!!!
  • Shiny!!!!!
  • I just wanted to share my thoughts.
  • You will all bow before me!
  • Look at me!!!!
  • Stop reading my mind.
  • Look at me!!!!
  • I’d like to discuss this further over drinks at my place.  I have some fabulous etchings.
  • I need some help and support.
  • Weeeee!!!!!!
  • It’s SHOWTIME!!

In conclusion,

  • Thank you for reading this.
  • Fuck you.  No, not you.  The other one.
  • I’m sorry you had to read this.
  • I hope you read this.
  • Lo siento. No sabía que ella era tu hermana.
  • Why are you reading this?


  • Have a great day?
  • Hlep meh Jebus!
  • You are trapped in fortune cookie factory.  Send help. Lucky Numbers: 9-1-1.
  • Mwah ha ha ha ha…. *pet animal of your choosing*
  • John Milius written 70’s movie quotes mashed up, eg: Do you feel lucky with your lifeless eyes, black eyes, dolls eyes when you smell the napalm in the morning and see your enemies driven before you, punk?  ( Charlie don’t surf, but Jan Michael Vincent and Subati sure do…)
  • Cheers!
  • NURSE!

   *batteries not included.  May contain small parts.  Some cars not for use with some sets.  Void where prohibited. Not responsible for lost or stolen partners. Ask your doctor or therapist if blogging is right for you.  Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball(c).  No refunds. 

1 week ago. Mon 12 Mar 2018 04:11:22 PM IST

No heros, no saviors, no servants, no slaves, no messiahs.  Just people. 




1 week ago. Sat 10 Mar 2018 01:53:36 AM IST


Some folks like water
Some folks like wine
But i like the taste
Of straight strychnine (hey hey)

You may think it's funny
That I like this stuff
But once you've tried it
You can't get enough (Woah!)

Wine is red (hey)
Poison is blue
Strychnine is good
For what's ailin you

Wine is red (hey)
Poison is blue
Strychnine is good
For what's ailin you

If you listen to what I say
You'll try strychnine some day
Make you jump, it'll make you shout
It'll even knock you out

Some folks like water
Some folks like wine
But i like the taste
Of straight strychnine



Well I remember when you used to look so good

And I did everything that I possibly could for you
We used to ride around all over town
But they're puttin' you down for bein' around with me
But you can go ahead if you want to
'Cause I ain't got no papers on you

In the middle of the summer I had a job bein' a plumber

Just to pass till the fall it was you I want to ball all day

We were walkin' along, honey, hand in hand
I'm a-thinkin' of you, mama, when you're thinkin' of another man
But you can go ahead if you want to
'Cause I ain't got no papers on you
No, I don't I ain't got no papers on myself

All alone on the bone when I didn't have a home

When I saw the way I was and I knew where I was supposed to be
I was twitchin' so I turned and it's really hard to learn
That everyone I saw was just another part of me
But you can go ahead if you want to
'Cause nobody's got no papers on you
No, babe, it's just a falsehood




Underneath all this
The only thing that matters is
What & where you were born
And how well you use it and conceal it
'Cos there's no peace
On this terrible shore
Everyday is a battle
How we still love the war

Dangerous bibles
all moving for you
In the end we're broken pieces
Stuck like glue
And there's no peace
on this terrible shore
Every day is a battle
How we still love the war
When we say we've had enough
We know we really want more

3 weeks ago. Sat 24 Feb 2018 03:44:12 PM IST

"And the sky was made of amethyst
And all the stars were just like little fish
You should learn when to go
You should learn how to say no"

- Hole, Violet (Live Through This)



Less ramble and more real this time around.   A little slice of reality in the form of a message between me and someone that approached me recently.  There's a lot of talk and writing about ideal and theoretical negotiation, how things 'should' be done, a lot of stories and discussion about the aftermath of failed relationships, but very few practical examples of what 'nuts and bolts' communication and negotiation looks like during those difficult times.  I thought it might be enlightening to see what discussing relationship difficulties actually looks like in my world.  


 A few disclaimers:

1) What follows below is my original message, word for word, written to her only with no intentions of posting.  It's raw, human and not perfect.

2) The person that it was written to is not a member on The Cage, nor are any of the people I refer to.  I do have a life outside of here.  :)  Seriously though, there's some pretty intimate stuff in here.  This isn't about petty drama or guessing games.  Please respect that.  

3) Yes, we got past this.

4) The attitudes, opinions and approach are mine alone, and not held up as ideal or perfect.

I wanted to share this as an example of how to communicate rather than what to communicate.   Far too often, when folks hit difficulties, they focus on their partner's issues rather than their own experiences and how those  influence concerns and anxieties.   I tried to do my best here to focus on my issues, not hers, and to express problems as incompatibility, not flaws.


As always, I'm open to any and all feedback..  - Fud


Hi [xxxx],

 I know your anxiety is an issue, so I'll say off the top that I'm not cutting off any contact, but we do need to slow down and talk if we're going to take things any further.

I can't fault any of your reasons, or rationale for wanting to explore BDSM.    I don't argue with your assessment of your needs or desires there.   

I do have hesitations about me being a good fit as a partner for you.  I tried to explain them as thoroughly as I could last night, but you responded  as if I listed  reasons why you're not 'good enough'.    It's not a matter of 'good enough' it's a matter of compatibility.   I'm not going to play the 'tell me what you're REALLY thinking' game.  It's a red flag for me.   I've been open and honest throughout.  If you don't believe that, you should run, not walk away.

Did I encourage you to play and 'tug at the lead'?   Yes, and no.  My approach isn't much different than training a puppy.   You need time and patience to do proper training, but you also need to play and reward that to 'get some energy out'.     I wanted to see if we could play online and achieve that.    It didn't go well.  One failure doesn't mean it's hopeless, but I did see problems there.   No, the fact that you didn't cum wasn't one of them.    It happens to me too, and I don't see failure or lack of skill there.  

The problems I did see, and that concern me the most involve some BDSM basics around consent and communication.    Yes, 'everyone is new at some point'.   I don't fault you there.  What is frustrating and confusing to me is that you had these desires for xxx years, you're obviously a smart person, yet you did nothing to research or explore even the basics of the lifestyle while still holding a strong desire to participate.  

I made some assumptions when we first started talking in thinking that you were aware of at least some of these basic concepts.   You are very aware and in touch with some of the deeper psychological motivations and effects of BDSM (no doubt your education helps there) and that led me to believe that you knew a bit more about the 'nuts and bolts' aspects than you did.    It seemed a bit like having an in depth discussion about traffic patterns and road conditions with someone only to later discover that they did not own or drive a car.

I could and am still willing to go into more detail there, but considering the reactions to that feedback so far, I'm going to try a different approach.    The following are reasons that I don't think we're compatible.  They're based on my faults, past experiences, and areas of weakness.

1)  Partners not speaking up about circumstances that affect their mood, time, and concerns early enough.  I play at some deep and dark kinks, and part of what I enjoy is making partners uncomfortable at times and pushing limits.    I expect that when I move into areas or circumstances that a partner is uncomfortable with, they will understand that it's their right and responsibility to communicate that discomfort as soon as possible.    Submissive in play should not be submissive when it comes to their own feelings and concerns.   I have hurt people before due to communication difficulties and not speaking up soon enough, and it's made me feel like a monster.  I do not wish to repeat those mistakes ever again.

2)  Partners with multiple medical issues.    This has overwhelmed me in the past, and left me resentful and irritated at partners when I needed to be sympathetic and supportive.    It requires a lot more mental effort on my part to manage these relationships with due consideration, especially online.   I have a very strict hierarchy of relationships, and my local ones with folks I've met in person will always take priority.   As I've mentioned, partners both past and present have had those issues, and I have previously existing support obligations there as a friend and partner that limit my ability to fully support someone with those same circumstances online.   This is why I suggested a more monogamous partner for you, not jealousy issues.  

3) Partners who have been molested by family members in the past.   This is not an uncommon circumstance to come across when you play with the kinks I do.    I have found it impossible to ignore exploring that abuse and how it connects to BDSM and desires with partners before.   It's a very delicate and long term thing.   Once again, I've made mistakes there in the past, and feel I've left partners needed more support than they got from me.  I am always wary of any relationship where this in an issue.  It's very important that both partners are not only willing to explore this, but understand both their own and their partner's motivations when exploring.

I'm willing and glad to discuss any of these flaws and problems in my approach to things, and whether you think we might be able to get past them.   I'd like that discussion  to focus more on my flaws and what I'm doing wrong than your flaws and problems, but I'm flexible there as well.



1 month ago. Wed 31 Jan 2018 04:26:10 AM IST

After landing from his swim Nostromo had scrambled up, all dripping, into the main quadrangle of the old fort; and there, amongst ruined bits of walls and rotting remnants of roofs and sheds, he had slept the day through. He had slept in the shadow of the mountains, in the white blaze of noon, in the stillness and solitude of that overgrown piece of land between the oval of the harbour and the spacious semi-circle of the gulf. He lay as if dead. A rey-zamuro, appearing like a tiny black speck in the blue, stooped, circling prudently with a stealthiness of flight startling in a bird of that great size. The shadow of his pearly-white body, of his black-tipped wings, fell on the grass no more silently than he alighted himself on a hillock of rubbish within three yards of that man, lying as still as a corpse. The bird stretched his bare neck, craned his bald head, loathsome in the brilliance of varied colouring, with an air of voracious anxiety towards the promising stillness of that prostrate body. Then, sinking his head deeply into his soft plumage, he settled himself to wait. The first thing upon which Nostromo’s eyes fell on waking was this patient watcher for the signs of death and corruption. When the man got up the vulture hopped away in great, side-long, fluttering jumps. He lingered for a while, morose and reluctant, before he rose, circling noiselessly with a sinister droop of beak and claws.

Long after he had vanished, Nostromo, lifting his eyes up to the sky, muttered, “I am not dead yet.”


- Nostromo: A Tale of the Seaboard, by Joseph Conrad, 1904 (Project Gutenburg Licence)

2 months ago. Wed 20 Dec 2017 02:27:26 PM IST

I've just written the following as a response to MissNevermore's latest blog (  but it got a little long.   It's something that's been pestering me for a while, so I thought I'd repost my comment in my own blog.    Comments, queries and debate welcomed.  Drama, flame wars and insults not. 


Once again I find myself the odd duck here. I don't identify with either one of your definitions as quoted below:

Bedroom only dynamic: Contact is made and end result is that sex is the primary goal with either little intent or substance for it to progress beyond one or both being sexually gratified. Where, when, how, who, limits and safeword; good to go. Its a single scene or moment that is planned and played out. Meet at XYZ do ABC and done. If it was mutually satisfying in needs and wants it may or may not repeat again.

Lifestyle dynamic: sex in (and) of itself is not primary to the D/s lifestyle we either are looking for or engaged in. ... a compatible D/s dynamic, that turns into a day in day out, in and out of the bedroom lifestyle. There has to be a commonality and communication that takes place before proceeding.

I consider myself bedroom only. I don't attend munches or seminars in person. I have no interest in expressing or displaying my dynamic in my day to day life. BUT... how I develop my relationships is exactly what you describe as 'lifestyle'. I find the behaviors you outline as 'Wang Bang' as unappealing and repulsive as you do, and I've never engaged in them.

Yes, I play online quite a bit and have for some time. I've never made an advance as crude as the ones you outline; I conversed with partners for months on end in written form only. Writing long messages back and forth daily, discussing kinks and/or exploring them through long term written RP. Yes, a few eventually evolved into picture exchanges and/or Skype play, but only after months of talking, and it was never my end goal. Like you say, sex is easy enough to find, and I'm quite content to masturbate on my own; my goal was always learning and exploration. I was interested in kinky minds, not quick gratification.

I also date IRL looking for what I consider 'bedroom only' kink. My last three relationships there took 2 months, 6 months and 11 months from first date to first kinky bedroom play. The relationships developed as you describe in lifestyle; communication, trust and a common bond were built up long before sex was even considered. Of the three partners, only one would come close to meeting your description of a 'lifestyler'. I'm still close friends with all three today, and there was nothing 'casual' about the feelings or communication with any of them. Sex was never the goal there, meeting potential kinky partners with the goal of a full and mutually satisfying relationship in all areas, not just the bedroom was always what I sought and what I continue to seek.

Before, during and after all that, I have pursued learning about all aspects of BSDM and kink in my own way. My learning style is much more suited to self study and one on one communication. The mental aspects of BSDM have always held more fascination for me than the physical, and I feel that even the physical aspects are a deeper and more meaningful form of intimacy than 'vanilla' sex. The amount of information and resources available online has drastically increased from even 10 years ago, and the necessity of finding local in person resources to learn more about lifestyle, BSDM and kink is no longer what it once was.

I'm proud to declare myself 'bedroom only'. I will not have my kink defined or labeled by others, or feel 'less than' because I don't choose to be open and flagrant about my choices in every aspect of my life. I'm completely open and honest at all times with all my partners, but beyond that, what I share and reveal is my business, and not doing so doesn't invalidate me.

I appreciate so called 'lifestylers' and their dedication, but the gatekeeping and judgement is unhelpful and uncalled for. Far too many people seem obsessed with casting judgement on others, yet completely disinterested in learning about or defining themselves any further.

If you want to label the behaviors you describe as 'Wang Bang' that's fine, and you're not wrong, but trying to attach it to a bedroom/lifestyle binary just isn't fair.

3 months ago. Sat 09 Dec 2017 11:38:50 AM IST

Bored, bit of a cold to drop the voice just so.

A little of the top of the head alphabetical improv to pass the time.  No explicit language... tone is another matter.


Thanks for all the kind comments on my profile audio.  I'm always happy to take requests, and love recording stuff (no charge of course, just for fun).  If you'd like me to record something, get in touch in the comments here, by email or Bond.. or just say hello when I'm in chat. 

3 months ago. Tue 05 Dec 2017 06:24:23 AM IST

Long day.  Tired.  Just gonna leave these two links.  Read, learn.


And since that one is out, lets move onto hoomans, and our closest two relatives, the chimp and bonobo, to see the roots of BOTH types of social structures developed by humans.


Chimp, or Bonobo?  


I know what team I'm rooting for. 








3 months ago. Wed 29 Nov 2017 09:16:31 PM IST



So.. for those of you who aren't familiar with online RP, it usually goes something like this:  Someone posts on an RP site or group with a scene or ideas, someone responds and they chat back and forth for a bit out of character.  Talking about what they like, where the scene should go, pace, characters, background etc, then once that's all ironed out, someone will start the RP.


On rare occasions, it happens like below.  A post in character, a reply in character.  Live without a rope.  Note that there isn't much in the way of body descriptions or setting in the post, or even names.  You jump in and try to write dialogue on the fly with all that missing.... and this one is nothing but dialogue, first person.  A very interesting and fun writing challenge.    


This exchange went very well.  Back and forth every 10 minutes for most of an evening into the late night and the next day IRL (In Real Life).   This isn't the most BSDM of RP's.  What I enjoyed about this one was the realism of the pillow talk.. those little mundane details that get left out of most RP's.  Writing only poles in holes gets boring.  Exchanges like these where brains and personality shine through are rare and fun.


The RP is a little over 20 pages, lots of spaces because of all the dialogue, so I've linked to a Google Doc rather than having you all scroll through word salad to find my other blog posts.  


Hope you enjoy:



3 months ago. Wed 29 Nov 2017 09:50:42 AM IST

I do a lot of RP.  Some posts you just have to respond to.  No writers were harmed in the following exchange.  


F4M - Obnoxiously verbose woman seeks man who desires to receive 1k word replies bursting with run on sentences that just barely imply sex, whilst incorporating anachronistic historical and mythological references, sloppy mixed metaphors and satire that is neither funny nor clever, you have a penis.



Well, perhaps that's not 'erotic and beautifully constructed', but you know what they say, different strokes for different folks, not that I'm into Gary Coleman Rule 34 stuff or anything.. although Dana Plato was kind of hot, and I always thought that Mrs. Garrett was a secret Domme to Mr. Drummond, but I digress; then again, I think that sort of thing might just turn your crank.

Speaking of cranks and getting back to the subject at hand, or at least the one in the title, I'm curious as to where you'd go with the title; I mean you could write something about a lonely sea captain's wife locked up in the attic with nothing to occupy her time but a copy of Coleridge, a ball of opium and an extensive collection of whalebone dildos, kind of a historic thing, but you seem to dig the ancient stuff like some kind of kinky archaeologist, so maybe a Laura Croft/naughty librarian thing in more your vibe, which could bring you back to the whalebone dildos and cranks, like some kind of steampunk hand powered dildo, unless you're into the whole Domme thing and the poetry is really your thing, in which case perhaps the Rimming of the Ancient Mariner would be more to your liking?

I mean strap me to the wheel and cover me in salty sea spray and leave me dripping in hoar frost if that's your sort of thing, or maybe Dana Plato brings to mind something much older, and you picture your self not in a boat on a river, but in ancient Greece where the men were men, and the sheep were scared, but bestiality isn't really my kink either, so perhaps you could be my secretly female student and I could lecture you on the platonic ideal of the perfect vagina, kind of like Salma Hayek's breasts, which I'm pretty sure are the manifestation of the perfect breast?

Or perhaps I just strap you down and force you to take my verbosity, cramming you full of words like some sort of Ancient Chinese water torture, where run on sentences and verbiage flow forth and drip into your wet little holes like as if Joseph Conrad and Dostoevsky got drunk on wine one night and stumbled into Rasputin's dungeon, finding you tied up there and just waiting for them to whip out their Boney M and hit you with their rhythm sticks over and over, Greasing you up with some Olivia Neutron Bomb 70's full on porn muff depravity, which would take you to Xanadu and bring us full circle back to Coleridge.

I guess I'm a bit cruel and odd like that, but still not really out of the 70's, so perhaps we could just chill out with a wine skin and later on I could invite you back to my groovy pad to look at my fabulous etchings while I like some incense and fire up the lava lamp, then slip you a Quaalude while you're not looking, and you wake up later on to find yourself tied to harvest gold fridge with elaborate macrame bondage knots? Knot your thing? Too much? To fast? Too soon? Too many questions? I suppose you deserve a paragraph break, so sit there and take it like the literary freak you are before your decimal system gets a dewy and you make a mess; sshh, don't talk in the library unless you want to be punished with a thousand paper cuts.

Now that ive gotten all worked up and im shifting into a different mood perhaps we can get really kinky and just get naked stripping each other of all punctuation while we just let golet go let it go baby and head out on the road to nowhere together like some sort of modern day bonnie and clyde on a kerouac journey across a forgotten america where we risk it all and go bareback unafraid of getting lost in the jumble and mumble of flippant phrases loving and licking brains ticking and tongues flicking until with come together right now all over me or you really whatever youre into icould be down for that know whati mean... or perhaps, you, in all your wild and wicked glory, really, really, really, prefer punctuation? Are you into... period sex? Speaking of your period, I never really did ask you what time period you prefer, or I suppose I could just keep with the 70's theme and ask you what your sign is, baby? Can you dig it? Can you take it? Are you a Warrior you wants to come out and play? Well, let's get down to it, boppers.

By jingo by gory by gosh since feeling is first and who so ever pays any attention to the word count will never wholly kiss you he spoke quickly and drank from a glass of water I think i'm gonna ee cummings all over you.

So close now, so I think I'll just drive on until I get there, because like Al Green, I'm a ram, and I want to get next to you, so I'll keep on keepin' on and truck on through the night down this lost highway, keeping awake on cheap speed and truck stop coffee, banging away at the keys like some kind of second rate Bukowski until I hit my number, not that I'm drunk right now, but I might be, and I'm damn sure some kind of damn dirty old man who gets his kicks out of trading paragraphs of kink with a nasty little lit girl like you.

I know that you're the one who's supposed to write like this, but I do enjoy a bit of switch and being in control, so sit there and take it like a good girl. If you really are into numerology, I'm sure you've notice that this is exactly nine paragraphs and one thousand words. It's the little things that matter in the end, isn't it?