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Thoughts of a Gentleman Dom

My thoughts and erotic writings. I hope you enjoy.
2 days ago. Mon 14 Jan 2019 05:43:17 AM IST

“A D/s relationship is built on trust.” That statement is said so often on the Cage that is has become a cliché. Oh, it is true no doubt, but in its own, it’s incomplete. The statement should read, “A healthy D/s relationship is built on trust AND respect.” I can tell you that I will meet you at the hotel at 6. When I show up on time, that was a truthful answer. But when I then go and treat you like crap after that and manipulate you, you will lose any respect that you had and the relationship will be over. Without respect, it is just sex. A sub must be able to respect her Dom that he will be the leader that she will follow. A Dom must be able to respect his submissive that she will follow his teachings and obey him.
Recently I wrote about a very close friendship that fell apart. The friendship with the sub had gone on for months, close to a year. She had been going through things and wanted me to work with her Dom. I agreed. She said that I could trust him because she did. While he did what he said he would do, I found him manipulative. It didn’t take long for him to lose my respect. A deep friendship that had lasted months, the had endured great ups and downs was suddenly over without another word within two weeks of adding the Dom to our relationship, a Dom that I didn’t respect. This is a moot point. She isn’t on the Cage and therefore will never see this. So I will make it a teaching moment. That little voice in your head when you start to question what the person is telling you is respect. Pay attention to it. Of course think with your heart, but don’t leave you very capable sexy mind on the shelf. Pay attention. A loving D/s relationship should grow. Yes, there will be ups and downs as it moves forward. However, if you feel that you are being manipulated, ask questions. Turn your sexy brain on. It may be nothing and then again…
If he has your heart, trust him. If he has your mind, respect him.

3 days ago. Sun 13 Jan 2019 03:01:30 AM IST

When I was a boy, girls were “cute”. As I grew into manhood and discovered sex, the girls became pretty, even hot, but it was the older women that were beautiful. In school, all the boys want to in Johnny’s group, he had the hot mom. What was just a collection of dirty thoughts back then has grown in me to be an appreciation that female beauty was not just in the girls that I was dating, but was truly all around me. This was in the days before we knew what a MILF was.
Today, I am 60 and considered to be a very experienced Dom. I chat with many subs that feel that they are older, that they are “mature” and have less to offer a Dom. I have talked to submissives in their forties to sixties, even seventies. They worry about things sagging, their energy level and attractiveness to a dominant. I can’t and won’t speak for all doms, but I find the mature submissive to be very sexy, together and very appealing.
When I first joined the Cage I met an amazing submissive who was older than I was. The world tells us that it is the younger woman who we are supposed to be attracted to, the ones to emulate. This mature sub when I met her is everything that a Dominant wants in a submissive. She oozed with sexiness, confidence and her submission absolutely glowed within her. It still does. If she wasn’t already owned, naughty things would happen. She and I don’t chat as often as we once did, but she is every bit as sexy as she always was.
My point is this, if you are submissive and you are getting older (as we all do), your age is an asset, not a deterrent. Rejoice in your maturity, the men do.

4 days ago. Sat 12 Jan 2019 02:18:52 AM IST

All submissives are beautiful!
Oh wait… you were expecting more, huh?

Fine, I’ll do it your way, just this once.

“What is the sexiest part of a submissive?”
Whenever I chat with a new submissive, one who has wandered in from the cold and suddenly realized that they are not alone with their strange new feelings, I will often ask that question, “What is the sexiest part of a submissive?” The answer will vary depending what they are personally proud of, their smile, breasts, hips and so on. The most common answer that I get is, “I have no clue”. By the time that I have reached that new person or they have come to me, they have been bombarded by every babydom trying to get in their pants. Every one of those “men” wants their pussy. I don’t. All I want is their mind. The sexiest part of a submissive is her mind, her beautiful sexy mind. Once her mind tells her that this person can be trusted, that she is indeed safe with him and that he won’t hurt her, it is that mind that will freely and willingly give him her body to use as he pleases. The more comfortable that she is with him, the more of herself that she will give to him.
Most submissives wants a long lasting monogamous downright naughty relationship with an amazing dominant. I read it all the time in your profiles and in chats with new submissives. All doms, on the other hand want sex, right? I see it in their eloquent, well-crafted introduction… “Hey, wanna fuck?”
Submission isn’t about sex, not really. It is the gift of yourself that you freely and willingly give to another. For him to take, protect and use as he pleases. It isn’t about free and easy sex. Domination, when it is done right, is hard. It is the taking and caring for another human being. What is easy about that?
All of us have been picked last for a team at some point in our lives. We aren’t all the fastest, smartest or whatever at any given task. It hurts not to be wanted, but Mom buys us ice cream and we move on. What happens to a submissive when she isn’t picked for anyone’s kink team? (It happens to genuine Doms too) Maybe there are issues that the world finds unattractive. I don’t have to lay them out, they have been reminded everyday of your life what they are. Do they go about her business like there is nothing wrong? Maybe. Inside these amazing women (probably sub males as well) is an incredible amazing sexy mind just bursting at the seams to come out. Submission starts in the mind, to give of yourself freely. That’s where true sexiness and beauty lie as well. Find someone on the fringes and just talk to them. Find someone new to talk to, really talk to. Get deep with them and discover what is in that amazing mind of theirs. I believe that you will come to the same conclusion that I have. All submissives are beautiful.
A very special thank you to my editors, Justataste and Morley39

5 days ago. Fri 11 Jan 2019 02:19:05 AM IST

            When I was a young man (yes, that was sometime ago), the greatest insult that one young male could give to another was to hand the other a small box with a simple note on top, “Here, you will need these!” Inside the box were two rubber bouncy balls. The message was clear (or at least it was then) his manhood was being challenged. Back then we were all full of piss and vinegar (I don’t know how that will translate overseas). To be considered by your peers to be a woos, a wimp or a coward was literally fighting words. Yes, of course we were all testosterone-filled macho twerps, but it was important to us. Thank goodness, we grew out of it or did we?
            Today, I still hold doors open for the ladies, show kindness to women and smile at females in general. That’s the way that I was raised, as a gentleman. My parents taught me well and I have passed those traits on. To men I am kind, open and cordial. I will give another man a firm handshake. I am very comfortable in my own skin. I like me. I am comfortable of my manhood.
            I am older; I turned 60 a few months ago. The reason that I bring all this up is because I keep hearing from subs that men aren’t men anymore. The reference is to men and Doms that are between 20 – 40. The common thinking is that they are spineless, wimps and unassertive. While you certainly cannot paint a large damning brush over all men, the trend that I have seen is rather large and growing. I have always considered myself an honest person. I have followed the wisdom of Thomas Jefferson who said, “I don’t have a good enough memory to be a good liar.” But it wasn’t until I came to the Cage that I fine-tuned my NEED for complete honesty. I adopted the policy many months ago; I will be completely honest with you even if I know that you don’t want to hear what I am saying. It is important to note here, there is a big difference between complete honesty and being brutally honest and mean. This policy has earned me some very important “heart friends”, friend that share a piece of my heart.
            “All doms are liars.” I have heard that more than once. I have watched when good friends have been destroyed by half-truths and outright lies. It has happened to me often and recently. Doms don’t have a monopoly on the mistruth department. Morley and others have eloquently made the case that subs should unite and show support for each other and yet, it continues. There is no sweeping cure for the deceitful individual. All that you can do to fix it is to be vigilant towards others and truthful yourself.

6 days ago. Thu 10 Jan 2019 03:16:10 AM IST

            One of the things that I like to do is greet new members, as often as I can. We all should. Yes it’s true, I say hello far more to women than I do the men. I like to be friendly and upbeat. For many, joining here is one of the scariest things that they have done. My initial greeting is always the same, “Welcome to the Cage! I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do.” Less than half ever respond to my greeting. It doesn’t matter, I have done my part as part of the community to make new people welcome. Those that do respond are generally grateful for the welcome. A few even go on to start conversations and friendships with. Then there are the “others” that respond.
            I always found it curious how someone could be offended by a warm hello and a welcome, but some are. Sometimes I get blocked for saying hello. One sub so eloquently put it… “You idiot, can’t you see that I am looking for a Domme?” And another told me that she had read my profile and knew ALL about me and my “type” and that I should be ashamed of myself. Wow, you got all that from “hello”? It doesn’t matter I keep going. There was a very bright spot recently. One sub that had blocked me for my offensive “hello” reached out to me. She had read my blog and realized that I wasn’t the person that she thought I was. She apologized profusely and explained that she had been caught in the babydom bombardment of new subs and had treated everyone the same. She blocked them. The point is she realized that she had mischaracterized me and corrected it. I am grateful for that.
            I talk to many people here on the Cage. I am proud of my long Contact list and some very amazing people that I am pleased to call my friends. I have acquaintances, friends and good friends. Then there is my inner circle. We all have those extremely trusted people whose relationship with you has been tested by fire and survived. They have EARNED their way into your heart. They are my heart friends; they share a piece of my heart. This week I lost a very close heart friend. I had said some things wrong, things that I had said were misinterpreted, people had said things about me that weren’t true and just like that, she was gone. And a piece of my heart went with her.
            Always be very careful when you block someone, who was once very important, out of your life. Goodbye may in fact be inevitable. Even if you felt offended or hurt, give them the chance for a proper goodbye. Don’t just end it coldly. They deserve better than that. You deserve better than that. Be the friend that you once were and say a proper goodbye.

1 week ago. Wed 09 Jan 2019 06:10:51 AM IST

 It’s a simple question, or is it? Is there the perfect Dom? Before you answer, consider this…

Just today, this morning actually, I accomplished the following:
1.    I shampooed and cleaned the carpet.
2.    I did two loads of dishes (dishwasher).
3.    I got dinner ready.
4.    I did all my work/business stuff.
5.    I counseled three subs going through rough breakups with their Doms.
6.    I spanked a sub
7.    I chatted with Morley twice, (That one doesn’t count. Talking with Morley is NEVER a chore).
8.    I wrote a blog post.
So there is the question, is there a perfect Dom?
I will be taking submissive applications this week and doing personal in-depth intimate interviews next week. Prudes need not apply.

1 week ago. Sun 06 Jan 2019 03:48:55 PM IST

Many of you have wondered about Fate, a good friend to many of us on the Cage and prolific blogger. She suddenly dissappeared. She is taking some very much needed "me" time. She will be back on the Cage shatting up a storm soon. She sends her love and all her best to her many friends. Be patient, Fate is coming back. She is doing well, gathering her thoughts and resting. There is only one Fate. She will be back soon.

1 week ago. Thu 03 Jan 2019 04:56:38 PM IST

Warning: You will need a towel and glass of water for this one.
            Your disappointment was obvious as you looked into the black Friday night sky. It had been raining for hours with no let up in the immediate future. I walked up behind you and held you close to me. “It’s alright,” I tried to reassure, “We can have our picnic next weekend.” You swung around so hard to face me that you nearly knocked both of us over. “But I have been planning this for weeks,” you whimpered, your pretty face all scrunched up and then added, “I have bought all the food! All the work is done! I have made all the sandwiches, potato salad, EVERYTHING!” I held you close and softly kissed your forehead. “It’ll be all right,” I said calmly, “We will simply find something else to do tomorrow.” We stood there for a while holding each other close as we stared into the forbidding darkness. Out of desperation and not knowing what else to say, I asked, “Is there anything else you’d like to do? Is there something that you have been putting off that we can do together?” You thought about my question and then started to straighten up. I could see a glimmer of a smile forming in your reflection in the window. “There is something,” you announced coyly, “but you’re not going to like it Master.” I smiled back at the window. “Try me,” was all that I said. You looked up at me, a mix of a devilish grin and worry on your face. “I have been wanting to give the house a thorough top-to-bottom cleaning,” you said cautiously. “Chores?” I questioned without any hint of anger. “You want to do chores on our day off?” “You can help me reach the tall stuff and help move furniture,” you said excitedly. My heart melted as I held you close. “I do have my own projects that I have been wanting to work on,” I admitted. “Then we can do it Master?” you asked excitedly. “Yes,” I said as I held you close.
            I was drinking my coffee and scanning the news when you bound down the stairs in the best of moods. You had your hair up and the biggest smile on your face. You were wearing jeans, sneakers and your favorite “cleaning” tee shirt. After a quick breakfast, you gathered all of your cleaning “weaponry”, buckets, brooms and mops for the battle that lay before you. As you headed out with a very determined look on your face to achieve the goal before you, I stopped you. What I said made you stop and turn to face me in sheer puzzlement. “What?” you asked. “I said, I want you to go change before you start. I want you to wear high heels.” “To clean in?” you protested, temporarily forgetting your place and then quickly added, “Master”. “Yes, that is what my command was. I want you to clean in high heels today, my bitch.” Your mind raced to absorb this new twist. “Yes Master, of course.” Then much calmer asked, “Is there a particular pair that you would me to wear, Master?” I took a step forward and smiled. “What color would go best with pink?” You gave a weak knowing smile. That was just like Master to comfort to your strengths. He knew that fashion was both your forte and your weakness. “I have rose, white, purple and nude,” you said calmer than you felt, “Anyone of those would go nicely with pink.” I took a closing step forward and took your hands in mind. I quietly asked, “Which of those have the highest heels?” You took comfort in the warmth if my hands and in the complete control that I had over you right now. “The purple ones, Master. They have a five inch heel.” “Then put on the purple ones and my short necklace.” You took in my command. My pussy was already starting to ache, to cry out for its owner. “What would you like me to wear with the heels, Master, jeans, a dress, what?” My answer gave you goosebumps. “Nothing,” I said as I calmly squeezed your hands, “Just your heels and nothing else.” “To clean the house in?” My silent firm gaze met your protest. You found resolve in my steadfastness. You lowered your head and said quietly, “Yes, Master.”
            You stared in the mirror as you put on Master’s “short” necklace. It hadn’t been a present. We picked it up one time that you had dragged him to the store to do clothes shopping. He had seen it and thought that it would look good on you. It was shorter than most necklaces, but not as tight as a choker. You wore it during times of uncertainty like big days at work. It gave you comfort. It reminded you that Master was always close, that you were his always. You touched the necklace one last time and then headed downstairs. You saw me watching you descend the stairs, a soft smile on my face. You stood before me in the “inspection” position, hands behind your head, legs spread and eyes straight ahead. I lightly cupped your breasts, ran my hand across your naked stomach and waist. Then I picked up your bucket of cleaning supplies and handed it to you. “It’s time to go to work, my love.”
            You were surprised how quickly you adapted to your new “uniform”. It was as your cleaning the baseboards that you looked back at your purple heels, your breasts dangling freely and smiled. It was an hour later when I came back in from the garage. I called you to me. You put down the brush that you had been using and obeyed, “Yes, Master”. Once in front of me I wordlessly put my hand behind your neck and pulled you close. I kissed you deeply and passionately. You wrapped you arms around my broad shoulders and melted into me. My free hand grabbed your ass and pulled you close. Our tongues frolicked together. Your body feels so good to me. While still holding you I asked, “How is the cleaning going?” “It’s going really well,” you told me breathlessly. “Great,” I said and then with a quick slap of your naked ass add, “Now get back to work.”
            You were dusting the coffee table when I came back a half hour later and sat down on the couch. “Come to me, bitch.” You obeyed quickly. “Lay over my knees.” Without hesitation you laid your stomach across my lap. I grabbed your hair and then gave you ten hard spankings slowly as to savor the moment. Your ass was a soft pink when I started to finger my soaked pussy. I pulled your head up by your hair and instructed you to go get our pink leather collar. You stood and quick went upstairs to retrieve the well-used item. I watched with pleasure as you descended the stairs, your gorgeous legs magnified by the heels, your beautiful breasts bouncing to the movement. You stood before me, head lowered, holding the collar out. As was our tradition, you rarely put on your own collar. You are my property. It was mine to remind you of your place. I took the collar and wrapped it around your beautiful neck. As was my habit, I tightened the leather past its attachment hole. The leather pressed tight against your neck restricting your airflow, choking you. You closed your eyes but remained motionless as the sensation and my power over you riveted your naked body. Fresh air suddenly filled your deprived lungs as I released my grip. I finished attaching your favorite physical reminder of my control over you, my ownership of all that you are. Facing you I took your face in my hand and kissed you deeply and passionately, your nipples are so hard they seemed to want to burst from your skin. Then silently I placed my finger in the metal d-ring of the collar and lowered you to your knees. You stared in anticipation as I took off my jeans. By the back of your head, I pulled you close. My musky aroma filled your nostrils. “Lick my balls, my beautiful bitch.” You eagerly applied your tongue to me taking in ever scent and taste of your owner. After several minutes you wrapped your hand around my enlarged cock. “May I stroke you, Master?” I gave you a simple nod. As you took one of my balls completely in your mouth and gently stroked my hard cock. Finally, I took a handful of your hair and positioned your mouth where it belonged. “Suck me, my bitch.” You immediately began the task before you and took me deep inside of you. When I exploded deep down your throat you eagerly swallowed as to savor the gift that I had just given you and then carefully sucked every last precious drop from my limp cock. Satisfied, I raised you to standing and smiled. I kissed your forehead. “Now, resume your cleaning, my love.”
            It went on like that all day. You would clean and I would pop in on you to check on you and give you my attention. There were several trips upstairs, first for your wrist cuffs, nipple clip chain, ankle cuffs and finally my favorite flogger. Your ass was still showing signs of a faded red when I came in for the final time late in the afternoon. Your were finishing cleaning the fireplace, the sunlight shimmering off the wetness dripping down your inner thigh. In your arousal you stood when I entered the room and then kneeled before me, your head down in reverence. Our closeness as a couple was never in doubt. “How may I pleasure you Master?” You asked. “Go get your pink leather lead.” Without hesitation you ascended the steps one more time. When you got to the bottom of the steps, lead in hand; you started to walk to me. I stopped you. “Crawl, my bitch.” With the lead dangling from your mouth you purposefully crawled to me, the humility growing quickly inside you. I clipped the lead to your collar and paraded my slut around the room. When I was satisfied I lead you on all fours up the stairs. Once in our bedroom, I raised you to standing and kissed you passionately. You followed my instructions and lay on the bed, legs wide. I fingered my pussy and pinched your aching nipples. When the head of my hard cock reached your drenched pussy you looked at me and passionately said, “Thank you, Master. Thank you for allowing me to be your bitch.” As I slid fully inside you, you added, “Thank you for fucking your whore, Master.”
            I held you close as the late afternoon sun made its escape from our bedroom window. You lay next to me, your cuff-clad arm resting on my chest. “Master,” you asked softly, “may I stay dressed like this the rest of the night?”

2 weeks ago. Wed 02 Jan 2019 04:21:28 PM IST

            “Oh, that’s just me, I overthink everything.” I hear it all the time as if, as a sub, that is something to be proud of. Legitimate worry and concern is healthy and needed in any relationship. It is no different than the pain that you feel first indicating that you should seek medical attention. Legitimate worry indicates that there is an issue that needs attention. It is a healthy part of the relationship.
Overthinking: The constant and needless worrying of something that isn’t a problem. Also known as the “What if” decease.
            Whenever I hear, “That’s just me, I overthink everything”, my response is always the same… THEN STOP! You will kill a healthy relationship by worrying about problems that haven’t happened yet. You will drive him away and then left wondering, what happened? When you overthink your relationship, you are putting up an invisible barrier, a wall, between you and your Dom. You are not allowing him to lead. Let go of the worry. Lean on him. Allow him to be the rock that you want him to be, that he is capable of being. He is the anchor that you desire, let go and lean into him.
            In my opinion, as humble as it is or isn’t, Doms don’t usually overthink issues. If you do have a Dom that overthinks, constantly worries about problems that haven’t happened yet, do this. Hand him a set of balls, thank him for his time and tell him to come back when he has grown a spine. Then quietly and calmly, DUMP HIS ASS. MHO
            There is something that a Dom can do in regards to a sub overthinking, constantly worrying. In my opinion, a Dom has three responsibilities to his submissive. He is to teach/train her, guide her and protect her. A submissive has two responsibilities, to obey him/follow his lead and to please him. If a Dom has done everything that he can to calm her fears and concerns and she still refuses to stop overthinking, she is hanging onto a crutch instead of leaning into him. She is consciously or unconsciously putting up a barrier and if advising the Dom, I would question if that relationship is worth investing any more of his time in.
            However, there is a major part that the Dom does play in this. One of the Dom’s key responsibilities is to protect her. To most men, protecting the woman comes naturally or should. If he is not doing his job at protecting her, of calming her concerns, of being her rock, then overthinking will grow and flourish. As a Dom, do your job. Don’t just tell her that you are there for her, SHOW HER. Make her feel as special as you think she is. Cherish and adore the amazing gift that she has freely given to YOU. Tell her that she is the one! Because if you don’t… someone else will.

2 weeks ago. Tue 01 Jan 2019 05:20:28 PM IST


Last week I saw this mug in the store, took the picture and posted it here for fun. Since then I have recieved so many comments about you gorgeous subs wanting sexy lingerie for Christmas. The thought of ALL of you beautiful women standing in your sexy panties... well let's just say that it got me so aroused that I rushed right out and bought the mug.


Happy New Years to ALL!!!