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Thoughts of a Gentleman Dom

My thoughts and erotic writings. I hope you enjoy.
2 days ago. Tue 19 Mar 2019 02:56:24 AM IST

            Do you remember when you first came to your first kink chat site? For me, the Cage was my first. The wonderment of it all. The sheer amazement that there were people out there like me who thought the same way. You were giddy! You wanted to talk to anyone and everyone. Then reality set in. You talked to 536 babydoms in your first hour, all with equally eloquent opening lines like, “bitch, I own you! You are going to be my slave” and you became jaded. You started to look at all Doms as predators and all subs as victims. I would respectfully ask you to look at your kink journey on sites like this a bit differently. Assume that we are all here to learn and to learn from each other. We have so much to teach one another, newbie and experienced alike. Personally, I love the fresh and amazing outlook and attitude of a newbie that has discovered their kink but doesn’t have a clue what to do with it. I also love listening to the sage wisdom of those that have discovered their kink years ago and are so freely willing and able to share with others.
            Resist becoming jaded and cynical. Most of us that have been on here a bit have at one time or another been called too old, too young, too fat, ugly and so on. It’s not just you, we all have. So consider this, it’s NOT YOU! Those harsh words are strictly the opinion of the idiot on the other end of that conversation. FIX IT! Sever the connection and block his/her silly ass. There are far more really good people on here willing to help or at the very minimum, have a meaningful conversation. Get rid of the idiots. You don’t need them and they are dragging you down. Replace them with a new friend. Reach out to someone and introduce yourself. Yes, I believe that subs can approach Doms first. Remember why you came to the Cage. Remember your excitement when you first came. Focus on why you are here, to explore your kink and not the “one” that is going to rescue you. Talk to everyone and at the same time focus on what YOU want out of this experience. In other words, have wide-open tunnel vision.

5 days ago. Sat 16 Mar 2019 02:33:27 AM IST

            The beauty of writing these blog posts is that they are at their very core, my opinions. Like them, hate them; you are unlikely to change my opinion. I have never proclaimed to be an expert at kink. I am a simple man that is an experienced Dom with a fair amount of common sense. Then you add to that the fact that I am self-trained and quite frankly, you get what you get. I don’t say the right bdsm words and terminology. For example, I think calling it a “dynamic” instead of a relationship is just silly, but that’s just me. I believe a compliment will drive a point far stronger than a hard unvarnished criticism. Keep that in mind while we discuss today’s topic, “The Dom Test”. This concept, while I believe is accurate, leans more on common sense than it does from something out of the “How to be a Dom” textbook (yes, I made that up).
            I believe that at its very core, a Dom has three responsibilities to his submissive.
            1.   To teach/train her          This covers a multitude of things and topics. As a Dom, what do you want her to know? How is she to please you? What is she to do for you? THEN TEACH HER! Don’t assume that she was preset at the submissive factory. Teach and train her what it is that pleases you.
            2.   Guide her.                       This one is subtler. Knowing that her Dom likes a blowjob would be under training her. Knowing that he prefers a very slow sensual and romantic cock worship would be guiding her. It also covers things that would be considered more opinions than training. For example, me personally, I prefer my submissive in dresses when we are together and I like French Tip manicured nails or soft pastel colors as opposed to the brighter more flashy fingernail polish. That is “guiding” her.
            3.   Protect her.                     Of the three, this is the big one. Protect her from other Doms. Don’t hide her away. In bdsm, socialization is so important. Let her talk to whomever she wants (my opinion), but keep her safe. If others harass her, step in and tell her how to fix the issue. Let her know that you care, that you give a rip about her.
            Protect her from herself. Don’t let her self-destruct. Guide her and compliment her. Find what makes her unique among the countless other submissives and build her up. Lift her from the floor where she doesn’t believe that there is a damn thing special about her and show her why she is amazing. Why she is the “fit” that you have been looking for. On occasion, it’s good to put her on a pedestal. To showcase what you have found. But for the most part, stand next to her and allow her to see that you believe in her and how proud you are to have chosen her to be YOUR submissive.
            Protect her from you.                       This one should be self-evident but sadly is not. If as a Dom you have done the first two correctly, train and guide her, then there is simply no limit to what your submissive will do for you. However, if YOU choose to skip those and go directly to harsh treatment both emotional and physical, she will naturally resist and go into self-preservation mode. Treat her with care as the amazing gift that she is and there is no end to the amazement and pleasure that she will bring to HER Dom.
            Likewise, the submissive has two responsibilities to her Dom.
            1.   To obey him.                  Most don’t understand the relationship between “brat” and “slave”. The brat is there to protect the slave. Once trust and rapport are established, generally speaking, the slave comes out to serve and the brat goes and sits in the corner until she is needed again. To be a brat just to be a brat makes me question her ability to serve as a submissive and will lose my attention. A submissive in general and a slave for sure is happiest when they are serving and pleasing their Dom. It is her natural tendency to obey.
            Very Smart Person disagrees with me on this point. VSP believes that the brat shows up to challenge her Master in a good way, for her Master to show his abilities. That the brat is testing the strength of his conviction and dominance. She also likes the word “dynamic”. Who knows, maybe I will change after all. I doubt it, but maybe.
            2.   Follow his lead.             A Dom MUST lead. A Dom who refuses to lead or is incapable of leading is useless. The exception to that is a new Dom. There is a strong distinction between a new Dom and a babydom. A rookie Dom wants to learn and grow. He feels the domination inside of him and is not sure what to do with it, much like a new submissive. He can be trained and taught and most importantly, he wants to learn. We all started somewhere. When you find a genuine Dom that is new and growing, be patient with him. Know that he will make mistakes, we all do. A babydom, on the other hand, wants sex and acts the way that he has seen it played out on porn. Dump his sorry ass as soon as you can.
            When you find a Dom that you trust, respect and are fond of that is willing and able to lead, follow him. It is as simple as that. Don’t find reasons to delay, follow him. It is natural and even prudent to be cautious at first. As the trust grows, as he has shown more of his ability to lead, obey him. Give to him what he wants, your obedience. He will take it from there.
The “Dom Test”
            Many experienced Doms and I have been asked by new submissives how do they tell the real Doms from the fake ones. Often I will be asked by a confused and frustrated submissive about her new Dom. Usually, she will start with “I don’t know what I am doing wrong?”. At that point, I will tell her about the five responsibilities of a D/s relationship. I will ask the questions…
Is he teaching you?
Is he guiding you?
Do you feel protected?
Are you obeying him?
Will you follow his lead?
            The answer is typically a resounding no to each question. Then I will ask, “Do you have a D/s relationship with him?” That too is followed by a no and the light bulb in her brain goes off. When your new Dom inspires you, when you feel led and comforted by him, you don’t need a test to tell you when it is right. If you need a test to tell you when it’s wrong, I suspect that you already knew that anyway. Either way, good or bad, trust your hunches and your senses. Trust your heart.



1 week ago. Thu 14 Mar 2019 04:50:03 AM IST

           Is the bed that you share with your Dom his or does it belong to you both? Any woman that has been on the Cage for more than two minutes after they joined and has identified themselves as “female”, “submissive” and breathing have encountered the babydoms. These are the inexperienced wannabes that get their “extensive” dominant training from watching bdsm porn. He will start his incredibly eloquent introduction by saying something like, “bitch, I want you in my bed”. Keep in mind that these are the same idiots that go on to announce that they will through you against the wall. It has been pointed out to me that “some” subs may like that and that’s what they are looking for (That was a nice way of saying that I was narrow-minded). While that may be true, I suggest what the supply of what the babydoms have to offer far outweighs the demand.
            So, back to my question of the day, is it “MY” bed, that of your dominant that HE invites you to share with him or as a D/s couple the bed belongs to both of you? The simple answer is “Yes”, it is both. In a D/s, M/s relationship where the dominant has claimed the submissive as his, his property, everything that she is belongs to him. Therefore, it is HIS bed that he is inviting her to share. Everything belongs to him, including the bed. (Please note: I draw a distinction between philosophical/conceptual ownership and material ownership. I am not a fan of FINDOM (Alright, I hate FINDOM.))
            However, if in addition to the physical/sexual connection there is also an emotional connection, then the relationship changes as well. It is still HIS bed because he is the Master, but it can be THEIR bed as well due to the strong emotional commitment that they have made to each other. Where they have moved past the superficial and have delved into the deeper commitment that defines their relationship. It is one where us romantics like to say that their two hearts have joined. It is the ultimate goal (in my humble opinion), a D/s relationship that lasts the test of time. I will leave the poly argument to the much smarter people. I am talking about the “one” that excites you every day. The one that you want to do grocery shopping with, work on things as a couple with and fuck her silly EVERY NIGHT. Then it becomes “OUR” bed, one that you can be very proud of.

1 week ago. Wed 13 Mar 2019 01:01:23 AM IST

            I think that all of us on some level dream of finding that incredible person who will please us both sexually and on something of a deeper level as well. We talk about “making a connection” and finding one that we can relate too. That is amazing! To be able to talk and share with someone that you care for. Recently someone pointed out to me that I might be too much of a romantic, where I expect every connection on sites like the Cage to end up as a D/s couple. This very smart person pointed out that it is just fine to have just sex if that is what both are looking for out of the relationship. Very smart person was right. If that is what you are seeking, I wish you well. However, be careful of one thing. Sooner or later in a sexual relationship, one or both will develop emotional feelings for the other. If those feelings are one-sided, the relationship is over. If both Dom and sub share deeper feelings, we talk about such things as sharing your hearts. To freely and willingly open your trust and your emotions to the other. To have the ability to share things with someone so special that you have rarely told another. It is an amazing place to be, to share your heart with another.
            But is there more? Is there something deeper than sharing your heart? The ability to open yourself completely, without hesitation to another who is willing and able to do the same. To lay your heart open and raw and have complete trust that they will not hurt you, but in fact protect you from anyone that would or could hurt you, including yourself. That kind of incredibly deep connection is where two souls embrace as one. They think alike, share openly and even finish each other’s sentences. But a strong word of caution. To achieve this emotional bliss, you have to go through “The Pit”. “The Pit” is a dark place where raw emotion and complete honesty to your partner and yourself are the keys to get you through. The Pit will lay your relationship wide open. There is no going back. The Pit is an argument, a misunderstanding, a question unanswered, a doubt. It doesn’t matter what starts it, but you know full well when you are there. The Pit will kill relationships. There is only one way to survive The Pit and achieve the emotional soul-binding bliss; you MUST go through it together. If one of you decides to ignore the problem and treat it as if it didn’t happen, your relationship is dead. Maybe not today, but it won’t take long. The trust and respect that got you to the open-heart stage are gone and the doubts will soon take over.
            Brave The Pit together. Lay your trust and soul wide open. Be vulnerable to the one person that can heal you. Take their trust and openness and comfort and respect them. Once you have laid that new foundation of COMPLETE honesty and trust like no other, you are well on your way to two souls embracing.

1 week ago. Tue 12 Mar 2019 01:11:37 AM IST

          It had been a long day. You were mildly concerned when we met at the restaurant for dinner. I hadn’t talked to you several times throughout the day like I normally did. After we had ordered the reason became clear. The new project that I was in charge of had hit several major snags and I was worried about if we would be able to make our deadline. I ate my meal carnivorously, but when asked by the server how I liked it, I couldn’t remember what I had eaten. It was something that I had said that first gave you the idea; “I need to be on my “A-game” for this one. If I miss the deadline, it will affect my reputation.” “A-game”, indeed,” you thought silently as your seductive plans took shape.
            When we got home I slipped off my shoes, took off my tie and settled in my chair in the living room to read the newspaper. I had to try to relax and reading about someone else’s problems might just do that. It didn’t. Your touch felt like honey to my skin. Expertly you gently pressed your fingers into my taught and tense neck muscles. They felt like twisted ropes below your soft incredible touch. The results were instantaneous. I closed my eyes as your soothing magic enveloped me. The neck and shoulder massage were incredible, but it was the skin-to-skin touch, your touch that I craved. As my mind and body relaxed, you pulled out your secret weapon. The one that no Dom stood a chance against and you released it flawlessly. As you kneaded my aching muscle you leaned forward and whispered into my ear, “I am your slave”. A soft smile began to crease my face. “I am your personal and private whore,” you continued in a soft and sultry tone, “You own all of me. Everything that I am belongs to you, my amazing and wonderful Master. I am your sweet sweet bitch.”
            I placed my hand on yours and squeezed to show you my pleasure. With a simple tug, you came from behind and stood in front of me. You were wearing the same outfit that you had all day, a soft pastel button-down blouse and curve-hugging skirt. Your smile was sultry and inviting. I didn’t say a word. I could simply look at you for days. Your beauty bewitched me. “Master,” you said finally, “may I please you?” Those words unlocked my very soul. “I see in your eyes that you have a plan. What is it, my love?” Your sexy smile broadened as you slowly unfastened the top button of your blouse, then the next and the next. “MY Master,” you emphasized, “loves it when his bitch undresses for him.” One by one the outfit that you had chosen with care this morning was ending up in a pile on the floor. When completely naked, you took a step forward and grasped both of your naked breasts. You groped and squeezed my property freely. Then slowly dropped one hand down across your stomach and softly fingered my gorgeous pussy in front of me. The pleasure that your touch provided was obvious and pleased me. “MY Master loves it when HIS bitch gives him a show.”
            Your naked body sat down and straddled my lap. You softly caressed my face, your fingers still wet with my pussy juice. Then you cupped your right breast with both hands and pushed it into my waiting mouth. You took my right hand and placed it on your free breast. Your hand lay on top of mine pushing it firmly into you. I alternated between sucking on your gorgeous breast and teasing the marvelously hard nipple with my tongue. Simultaneously your hand groped your free breast as I toyed and pinched my nipple. You looked at me and said, “MY Master loves to suck on his breasts.”
            When I had stopped and looked up at you, you stroked my hair and smiled. You stood up and took my hand. Gently you helped me to my feet. With a mischievous smile, you led me to our bedroom. In the middle of the room, you unbuttoned my shirt. You unpeeled the loosened clothing from me and playfully kissed my chest. You looked at me seductively as you knelt before your owner, loosened my belt and unzipped my slacks. One at a time you removed each piece of my clothing. Before you stood, you softly caressed my balls and kissed the head of my hard cock. You smiled as you flicked your tongue against the head of my cock. “Master loves when I am playful with him.”
            Standing, you neatly folded each article of clothing and stacked them on the nearby bureau. Once again you stood in front of your owner and kissed him tenderly and passionately. Again you whispered in my ear, “I am Master’s slave, his property, his slut. I exist to please you. I am so proud to be Master’s sweet bitch.” You took me by the hand and led me to our bed. “Would you lay on the bed, my amazing Master?” Wordlessly I followed your suggestion and lay on my back in the middle of our bed. You crawled to me and began kissing at my knees and slowly up my inner thigh. In one hand you caressed and loved my balls tenderly. With the other, you gently stroked my hard cock and then kissed its head. You smiled at me devilishly and said, “Master loves it when I give him a slow sensual blow job.” For the next twenty minutes, you sucked, stroked, squeezed, kissed and played with your Master. The entire time making sure that your owner received maximum pleasure.
            After fully aroused, I pulled you to me by your hair. I kissed you deeply as I played with your breasts. “Master loves when you attend to his needs so amazingly well.” I kissed you again and rolled you on your back. You spread your legs wide for me and I slid deep and easily inside of you. I rock my hard cock deep inside my possession. I looked deep into your eyes and then kissed you tenderly. I gaze at your amazing passion as you feel my rock hard cock growing inside of you. “There is one more thing that Master loves,” I tell you tenderly, “you.”

1 week ago. Sun 10 Mar 2019 02:35:50 AM IST

           It is not hard to love a submissive for her beautiful and wonderful body. Her pretty face and every one of those delicious curves makes her nearly impossible to ignore. For me personally, it’s her smile that drives me over the edge. Sadly I see too many young girls trying to look sexy. It’s a pose somewhere between she just swallowed a lemon and wants to vomit. As a submissive and you want to show your Dom how sexy you are, smile. Show him your pleasure from pleasing him. It’ll work every time.
            All right, loving her incredible natural beauty is well established. Do you love her for her…
Her craving attention?
Do you love your Dom for his…
Need to manipulate?
The peaks and valleys between confidence and lack of confidence?
When he falters?
When he tries to overcorrect?
            When you tear something, it never tears cleanly. It never leaves a straight edge. There are naturally occurring peaks and valleys. The key to any romantic relationship, but especially a D/s one, is not to eliminate or “fix” the other's flaws, but instead, overlay your incredible strengths onto their deficiencies. To smooth and sooth his doubts and worry with your amazing tenderness and kindness. For him to cover your overthinking and worrying with his strength and confidence. Don’t set out to “fix” your partner, but instead relax and enjoy what you found so attractive in them in the first place. So much intimacy and control can be accomplished with a deep passionate kiss or tender caress and hold. The deficiency gaps will disappear as you cover the other with your strengths and kindness. Love her always… and in all ways.

1 week ago. Sat 09 Mar 2019 03:20:19 AM IST

          Recently I had a conversation with an unclaimed slave. The discussion made its way around to her future potential Master. I had written some posts about what happens when a Dom/Master falters. We are all human. We make mistakes. So what happens when he goes off the rails? What would she do? I have asked that question of subs before. Hers was the most interesting answer and for me it gave great insight to what a slave is. She said very succinctly, “I won’t let him fall.” At first blush you may take that statement as either arrogant or naïve. It was neither.
            In business if someone had made that statement the assumption would be, “If they fail, I fail” and therefore the motivation to “save the day” would be strictly of self-preservation. That would be the complete opposite of her meaning. I was fascinated by her simple answer. It was not said arrogantly. It was in fact what she truly believed. She felt it was her job as his slave to keep him upright. As a mature thinking woman she could see problems as they arose as well as he could, sometimes better. If for whatever reason he couldn’t see the upcoming problem, she felt it was her duty to inform him of potential dangers. Her awareness of what is going on both in and out of the relationship DOES NOT diminish his leadership or dominance.
            I have talked to a lot of submissives. Many worry about what happens when he gets moody. But very few that I have met have taken an all or nothing attitude as she has, that her dominant was everything to her. Devotion to him was her life. Keep in mind that she is unclaimed. Her devotion to him is because of her duty as a slave. Her adoration of who he is simply compliments who she is and fills in the gaps.
            Her pleasure is derived solely from his pleasure. Examine your motives as a submissive. Are you in it for the tingle, the sensation, or the thrill? Is it the excitement of being taken that captivates you? Or are you like this amazing woman that being a slave defines her? That being successful in the vanilla world is a bonus, but it is how she serves her Master with everything that she has that marks who she is. She is completely his in mind, body and spirit. What defines you, service or thrill? Ask yourself this, are YOU a submissive or are you instead HIS submissive and your needs are secondary to his, regardless if you are in a relationship at the moment or not. When you make the decision that you are completely his, you become incredibly vulnerable. Very few are willing to expose themselves so raw to another. When that happens, the true Master covers her completely with his protection. The two become one. He is the outer protective shell of their relationship that keeps her protected and safe from everything and she is the warm inviting glow that keeps them both warm and nourished.
            Many, if not all submissives join sites like the Cage looking for exactly that relationship. But it is looked at in selfish terms. “It is what I want.” I challenge you to look at your approach with your Dom or potential Dom not what you can get from this relationship, but instead of what YOU can give and give completely. The results may surprise you.

1 week ago. Fri 08 Mar 2019 02:01:29 AM IST

           It had been a long day for both of us. We were both exhausted. We buttoned up the house for the evening, turning off lights, checking locks, etc. and as was our habit we met at the bottom of the stairs to go up together. It was a silly little thing, but it was our thing. It was sweet. It was romantic. My command was simple and clear, “Crawl to bed, my love.” Your reaction was so typical of you, “Of course, my Master. Would you prefer naked or clothed?” “Naked please”. Without hesitation, you complied with my command. You would think after all of our time together, I would tire of watching you undress, but I don’t. One by one each layer was removed and neatly folded over the banister. Your heels removed and placed neatly against the side of the staircase. As you have been trained, you folded your hands flat on top of your head, and then slowly turned in a circle. When finished, I stepped to you and kissed you passionately. I whispered in your ear, “I am well pleased.” My hand drifts past your stomach. There, just to the right of my pussy is my brand, the tattoo that I had designed and placed there the day that I claimed you as my slave. My hand moved again and I felt the soft wet lips of my inviting pussy. My fingers slid easily inside of you and danced effortlessly with your arousal. I kissed your forehead and gently whispered to you, “I own you. I own all of you.”
            With a gentle pat on the bums, you kneeled down and began your ascent of the stairs on all fours. Lifting your knees was far more difficult than simply walking up. The fingering of my wet pussy and slapping my white ass didn’t help the climb, but it did comfort you to know that Master was close and that he cared. At the top of the stairs, you easily picked up speed and crawled to our bathroom. “Master, may I stand to brush my teeth? Shall I do it here or go straight to bed?” “You may stand, my love and continue your nightly routine.” You stood and made quick effort to wash your face, brush your teeth and brush your beautiful hair. I walked up behind you while you were being so industrious. Simultaneously I kissed your neck and grabbed your gorgeous breasts. There was no consent required. I own all of you. I will take what I want, as much as I want, whenever I want. Your purrs began as I fingered and pinch my nipples. They quickly turned into moans as I fingered my wet pussy.
            You made haste of your nightly routine and then crawled to the bedroom. I am sitting in the chair, naked. You crawl to me and assume the “Humble” slave position. “How may I please you, Master?” I smile at your constant obedience. You please me so very much. “Kiss my feet, my sweet bitch.” Without hesitation, you gently and lovingly adore my bare feet. You are hitting your stride with your attention as I command you to kiss your way up to me. You do as commanded and linger at my inner thighs. You soak up my aroma and can see my aroused cock and swollen balls. You kiss my balls and stroke my cock. “May I suck on you, my Master?” Wordlessly, I place my hand on the back of your head and guide you to my pleasure. You fondle my balls as you take me deep inside of you. Your constant attention to me pleases me so very much and I respond immediately.
            I urge you upright by pulling a handful if your beautiful hair. I lift your chin for you to look me in my eyes. “Who owns you?” I ask you in a quiet tone. Your soft smile caresses your beautiful face. “You do my amazing Master. You own all of me and I am so very grateful.” I cup my gorgeous breasts and kiss you so very tenderly. I look deeply in your eyes, “I love you, sweet bitch. Now go to our bed. I watch with pride as you descend to all fours in keeping with your instructions and crawl across the room. You climb to the center of the bed, lay on your back, place both hands behind your head and spread your legs wide. I am so very pleased with my property, my possession. You are all that I have ever wanted and all of you is mine.

2 weeks ago. Thu 28 Feb 2019 11:23:52 PM IST

          The next time that your Master gushes about how amazing that you are…
Show up the following night, ready for bed wearing a satin cape and thigh high boots. Nothing else, just cape and boots. I guarantee that your Master will take it from there. You can thank me the following morning.
Dedicated: fms

3 weeks ago. Sat 23 Feb 2019 05:10:02 PM IST

Much has been said about the emotional walls that many in our community build around themselves. The wall thickness can range from very thin to bulletproof. However thick the walls are, they serve just one purpose, to protect the individual, just one person, you. You have been hurt in the past, possibly very badly. So you hole yourself away, for protection.
Consider the Fortress. It too has walls that are thick and designed to protect. But unlike the individual protection, the Fortress has wide gates that are easy to enter and the freedom to leave when you are ready. The Fortress is warm and inviting. It is a comfortable place to be. Not many who enter its inviting gates pay much attention to its thick protective walls. Few see the battle scars that are evidence of its strength and protectiveness. Some pass through its gates without stopping grateful for the quick respite and keep going. Others stay for a time to catch their breath, heal and then are ready to leave, grateful for the rest. Some frequent the Fortress so often that they have their own key, so to speak.
No one knows how long the Fortress has been there. It seems that it has always been there. No one knows who maintains the Fortress to keep it strong and welcoming. It simply is “the Fortress”, it will always be.