Negativity and fear became relentless companions, shrouding my thoughts and distorting my visions. I allowed myself to believe that failure defined me—that once I stumbled, I would always fall. The prospect of climbing to the top alone filled me with dread; I convinced myself that I wasn't capable of shouldering that burden.
Now, as I find myself trudging this solitary path towards an uncertain summit, I am weary. Each step feels heavier than the last, and doubts gnaw at what little strength I have left. The dream that haunted me was not of success, but of inevitable failure—a prophecy I unwittingly fulfilled by neglecting to see the truth that was before me.
I failed to grasp that having you was the anchor of certainty amidst life's storms—the one steadfast truth I needed. It pains me deeply to realize this now, when the chance to speak these truths has slipped through my fingers like sand.
Yet, in this solitude, I have learned. I recognize now the cowardice in my actions—the reluctance to face my fears and embrace the role you needed me to play. You deserved a leader who stood tall, who offered guidance and reassurance in times of uncertainty—a beacon of strength to light our path forward together.
Although my words may arrive too late to amend what's been lost, they carry the weight of sincere regret and a newfound understanding. I am humbled by the realization that my fear of failure eclipsed the beauty of what we shared. It is never too late to learn, to grow, and to strive for a better version of oneself.
I hope you can forgive the shortcomings of my past self and understand the depth of my remorse. I will carry these lessons with me as I continue to navigate this journey, striving to embody the courage and leadership that you always deserved.
savage