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Kitten's Ramblings

Stories, songs, and feelings
13 hours ago. Wed 20 Mar 2019 03:40:04 PM IST

First one is finished! Took a REALLY  long time, as tattooist was busy, but did finish first one. Second scheduled for next Wednesday at 6pm 😁 FYI this is from last night, just after I got it done.

2 days ago. Mon 18 Mar 2019 03:50:28 PM IST

I read a blog earlier that mentioned safe, sane and consensual (thank you again for great blog RDB :) ) and how aftercare needs to be the same. That got me thinking what I consider safe and sane. 

Both of them can be in the eyes of the beholder. What I think of as sane, someone else will think I'm crazy. For example, the idea of being tied up tightly is a major turn on for me. Why? Because of how much I would have to trust the person to tie me up like that. I wouldn't let some stranger do it and would probably scream bloody murder if a stranger tried. But for me to trust someone that completely that I would let them tie me up so I can't move is freeing to me. 

Now on the flip side, I can't see how knife play is safe or sane. Even if the same person who tied me up came to me with a knife to play, I'd run the other way screaming. And if they tried while I was tied up? I'd have their ass arrested. However, I can somewhat understand how someone else would find it arousing. Well, let me rephrase that. I can understand why they would want it done. I had a friend in high school who would cut herself. She said she found it relaxing and an escape from her issues. I personally don't believe it's sane or safe, and am glad my friend got help, but if it is a turn on for you and everything is consensual, then I won't interfere. I may ask you about it if I see it and you are a friend, but in the end it's your choice. 

But I do believe you need to have ALL 3 in place when doing something. Even aftercare. This is where RDB's blog hit home. When a scene is ended, a sub can be a bit out of it aka Subspace. For me it's a major high. I feel boneless and yet grounded. I'm very open and vulnerable at this point. This is where I give up my trust most, because of how vulnerable and open I am. It's at this point, if a Dom wanted, he might have me agree to knife play. Why? Because of the high I'm on. To me, at this point, I'm not consensual. I say that because I'm not in my right mind and consent cannot be given if the person is not in their right mind. This is truly where trust in the Dom comes into play. While always in control, during aftercare the sub may not be in their right mind and it is the Dom's responsibility to make sure no harm comes during that time. To ask something major of a sub during this time is not only wrong, it's not safe, sane OR consensual. If something is agreed upon during play and done after play, then the playtime hasn't ended. To do something afterwards and call it aftercare is wrong. That's a continuation of play. You are not helping the sub calm down after play. You are continuing to use that sub and that will end up hurting more than helping. 

Now I understand this is a debatable topic and I welcome any debate. With that being said, I only welcome DEBATES. Any attacks on myself or others is not consensual and will be deleted. :) 

4 days ago. Sun 17 Mar 2019 02:04:18 AM IST

I decided to put on YouTube so I could listen to some music while I write. It's a bad habit my muse has, she enjoys music to help with writing lol. 

Anyway, I found 100 top hits of the 1990s (I know, I know. I'm really aging myself here). But one song really hit home for me. And of all the singers, it's Michael Bolton :) 

I am a closet Bolton fan. I absolutely LOVE his music, though I rarely listen to it. Mainly because I got teased for liking him so much when I was younger. Anyway, there were a few of his songs on the list. But the one that got me was "How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends?"

I think this is a great point. I know, I know. Not everyone is looking for a lover or something long term. This is for the long term relationships. How can you have someone as your Dom or sub if you aren't friends? How can you trust someone to stop when you say your safe word if you aren't at least friends? Or, for Doms, how can you trust someone to use their safe word if things go too far if you don't trust them as friends?

So here's one of my favorite Michael Bolton Songs :) 

 

 

4 days ago. Sat 16 Mar 2019 10:39:27 PM IST

Yes my crazy bitch of a muse has finally decided to work! While I won't be sharing what I've recently been writing, I've been going on a good spree with my writing. :) 
I will try to post some writings later on though, as my original idea for the blog was to POST my writings lol. But these are personal and I don't want to share :) 

Though a good friend did point out why my muse has come back. I'm happy where I am. Because of that happiness, I'm able to write well. And I fully agree with this. 

5 days ago. Fri 15 Mar 2019 11:53:09 PM IST

Well guys and dolls I got out cash for tattoos, went to the parlour early so could show my designs and... artist is sick 🤣😢

But  it's rescheduled for Tuesday! 4 more days though of waiting. But it will so be worth it 😊

5 days ago. Fri 15 Mar 2019 01:50:43 PM IST

This post is nothing more than me jumping up and down(figuratively) because I FINALLY get my new tattoos today!! 😁😁 

I'm very picky on my tattoos (these will only be 2 and 3 tats) and have to have a personal reason for them. Today I'm getting two different wrist tats. The one on my left is going to have a heart that is mostly black and wrapped in thorns that go around my wrist. But the best part of that one is my daughter drew it. 

Second tattoo is a rose with thorn bracelet. The rose and bracelet will be mostly white, except the tips of rose and thorns which will be red. 

I'll post pictures when they ate done later tonight. I'm just very excited 😊

1 week ago. Wed 13 Mar 2019 02:06:07 AM IST

There is no specific reason for this, only as a reminder of what I've been through, where I am at now and that I can make it through any future storms.

 

Now that you're outta my life, I'm so much better You thought that I'd be weak without ya, but I'm stronger You thought that I'd be broke without ya, but I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without ya, I love harder You thought I wouldn't grow without ya, now I'm wiser! You thought that I'd be helpless without ya but I'm smarter You thought that I'd be stressed without ya, but I'm chillin' You thought I wouldn't sell without ya, sold nine million
I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what) I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder (what) I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what) I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)
I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what) I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder (what) I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what) I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)
Wishin' you the best, pray that you are blessed Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness
(I'm better than that) I'm not gon' blast you on the radio (I'm better than that) I'm not gon' lie on you and your family, oh (I'm better than that) I'm not gon' hate on you in the magazines (I'm better than that) I'm not gon' compromise my Christianity (I'm better than that) you know I'm not gon' dis you on the internet 'Cause my momma thought me better than that!
I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what) I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm goin' work harder (what) I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what) I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)
Uh Now I dun' been through the storm and the rain Climbed up the rough side and got tough at times
But I remain, if I got the stuff to shine And pull out the pump, protect mine Survive in the game, hate on me 'cause you lame
They don't ever see your face or say your name No more pain for me, no more misery, 'cause you history I'm a hold on to what I got
Strap on to my perfection, strap on protection My own direction, born to be the best at what I do
I'ma make it through, stompin' like a soldier in my big black boots
I keep 'em "Jumpin', Jumpin', " stayin' funky, funky for you
No matter who's that man that walk out of your life You don't need 'em, don't be no heater
Long as I'm still breathin', not leavin' for no reason Seen them come and go, one switch, they not gold No house no mo', not even a condo As long as I know how to love, I'm a stay alive No need your game or style They can't tame me 'cause I'm wild, not ashamed of stayin' down Can the rain sit, and 'em things chromed out, spit
And in my game, no doubt, I'm a get paid in a big way, survivor!
I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what) I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder (what) I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what) I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)
I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what) I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder (what) I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what) I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)
I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what) I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder (what) I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what) I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)
I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what) I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder (what) I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what) I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)

1 week ago. Sun 10 Mar 2019 08:40:32 PM IST

I'm having a great day today. Everything just feels good and I wanted to share that.

Also want to share a few favorite songs from Kelly Clarkson. They helped me a lot after ex and still make me feel good. So, taking my own advice, if songs about getting over pain bother you, stop reading here. Otherwise enjoy and I hope they remind others of life afterwards.

 

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

You know the bed feels warmer Sleeping here alone You know I dream in color And do the things I want You think you got the best of me Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone Think you left me broken down Think that I'd come running back Baby you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone You heard that I was starting over with someone new
But told you I was moving on over you You didn't think that I'd come back I'd come back swinging
You try to break me but you see what doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone Thanks to you I got a new thing started Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day to left was just my beginning In the end What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger Just me, myself and What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone When I'm alone

 

Since You Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson 

 

Here's the thing We started out friends It was cool, but it was all pretend Yeah, yeah Since you been gone You're dedicated, you took the time Wasn't long till I called you mine Yeah, yeah
Since you been gone And all you'd ever hear me say Is how I picture me with you That's all you'd ever hear me say But since you been gone I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you Now I get what I want Since you been gone How can I put it? You put me on I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah Since you been gone
How come I've never heard you say I just want to be with you?Guess you never felt that way
But since you been gone I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on Yeah, yeah Thanks to you Now I get what I want Since you been gone You had your chance, you blew it Out of sight, out of mind Shut your mouth, I just can't take it Again, and again, and again, and again Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you) Now I get, I get what I want I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on Yeah, yeah Thanks to you (thanks to you), now I get (I get) You should know (you should know) That I get I get what I want
Since you been gone Since you been gone Since you been gone

1 week ago. Fri 08 Mar 2019 09:46:30 PM IST

As the title suggests, I have a bit of a conundrum. I read something recently that really got to me, and not in a good way. However, I do not want to start any issues or do something that may hurt anyone. 

Instead I'm just going to ask that you consider others when posting something. You don't know if what you are posting is going to trigger something for someone and possibly ruin years of healing that they have gone through. If your opinion or facts can possibly trigger something, it may be polite to put that in the title of your post. That way anyone who reads it has a choice. Some times titles are misleading and it takes reading the trigger for someone to realize that it was a bad idea to read the post. 

I'm sure this, or something similar, is in the rules. And I apologize if I am repeating something that has already been stated.I just don't like the idea of someone being hurt on accident. 

2 weeks ago. Wed 06 Mar 2019 07:11:34 PM IST

So as the title suggests, this is not going to be religious. Or at least not very religious. 

For those who don't know, Ash Wednesday is the start of Lent in the Christian religions. For me, I grew up in a very Roman Catholic family (father actually considered being a priest at one point and was on path to be a Deacon). As such, I learned very early on that Lent was very important and that you had to give something up for Lent. It wasn't until I was a senior in college that I learned another way to celebrate Lent: by adding something. And let me tell you, that would have been very helpful when young me was trying to give up chocolate for the umpteenth time lol. 

So this year, instead of giving something up, I am adding to my life. I'm making a list of things I want to do and then working towards those goals. 
So instead of saying: I'm going to give up sugar, I'm saying I'm going to eat more fruit. 

But here is where my lifestyle comes in. I'm going to work harder to be a better sub for myself. I want to be a better sub, so I need to work within myself. How can I be a better sub if I am not better within myself? 

So I am going to work on my prayers and meditation to assist me in centering better. 
I'm going to make small goals that are attainable, but still something to work at. (Example: I want to eat healthy, not no chocolate :) )