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Finding myself

Discover who I am
5 hours ago. Tue 23 Apr 2019 01:19:56 AM IDT

ok im going to just plain tell you all what have been going on and why i have been gone for so long. i have made the choice to leave my husband and file for divorce and to start living my life for me and also to be happy and that is the main reason i have left him i have gotten all my stuff out and i'm safe and staying with a friend and that is all that matters. i'm very happy with my decison and i have not made this choice very lightly i have thought it over and over. but i have to do what makes me happy and is right for me. i hope he finds his truly happy ending. so i have been dealing with this and also my anxity has gotten really bad and i ended up in the hospital because of it but i will get thru it cause im a strong women and i know this now. so i will try to post a blog more but do know that i'm not trying to hide from any of you or cause any issues. im trying to keep fixing me.

 

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose🌹🌹❣❣

5 days ago. Wed 17 Apr 2019 06:41:19 PM IDT

So i have made a decision and i was going to follow through with my plan on friday morning but now i have to do it thursday night in to friday moring and just have to pray that there is no issues and that everything goes smoothly. After all is said and done i will inform you all. Some already know and that is my choice but please dont tell anyone else. This was not a hard decision or and easy decision this took alot of thinking and figuring out but i know this is what is best for me. So just keep me in your thoughts. I love this family. Hopefull everything goes as planned and im safe and unharmed.

 

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose🌹🌹❣❣

5 days ago. Wed 17 Apr 2019 09:19:55 AM IDT

Ok so now that the shock has finally weared off. She is only acting like she cared because of my father but i am done with caring what everyone thinks about me and only care what i think and my Master thinks. Im also done with taking on everyones shit. I have decided that i am not going to be overwhelmed anymore. I have decided to take back my own selfishness and only be selfless with my Master. If i piss off people oh well i need to get over this shit and move on with what i want and how i want it and who i want. Im a very strong women and im not just a survivor but im a fighter. No more being sad about myself. Thank you all Emberose has been awaken.

 

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose 🌹🌹❣❣

5 days ago. Wed 17 Apr 2019 08:03:30 AM IDT

Why is telling your family something the hardest thing you ever have to do and it can make you feel sick to your stomach or relieved or just an emotional mess. So i have just about told all of my blood family about what is going on and i have had mixed feelings when i have told each one but the one that was the hardest is my sister cause she is trying to understand everything but also trying to be supportive of me and this is a weird side from her. But i have missed ever having this side from her and im just in shock and dont know what to say about it. Thats all for now cause i cant go on. 😪😪😭😭😢😢😔😔😫😫😣😣😖😖😞😞

6 days ago. Tue 16 Apr 2019 08:48:57 PM IDT

How does the world think its ok to constantly overwhelm a person to there breaking point and see how the person reacts to the stress and handle everything that is put on them. Sometime i just cant handle it and i just want to run and hide away and not have to deal with any of this. But i have to keep on going and going because i know that im a strong person.

 

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose 🌹🌹❣❣

1 week ago. Tue 16 Apr 2019 03:31:31 AM IDT

Why is it that when your trying your hardest to get through shit does is wear you down and make you feel like your a piece of shit and that your the one at fault and that you dont need to keep going on with living? I know that this might worry people but im just to the point that im tired of fighting and im over it all. Im just saying how im feeling im not going to do anything i have to much respect and love for my Master and my sisters and self. Im just in a bad place right now and need to get out. Ok well im just going to keep going and fighting and loving everyone that loves me.

 

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose 🌹🌹❣❣

1 week ago. Sun 14 Apr 2019 10:02:39 PM IDT

Think just happen for a reason and dont worry about if its a good thing or a bad thing just go with the flow and see where the stream takes you cause if your to scared to try something the  you will never know if it will work for you or not so sometime not jumping and making your own path is not the best. Just do what is best for you and the rest will all come in time and patience. Thank you all my friends and supporters. I love you all that mean alot to me. You know who you are.

 

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose 🌹🌹❣❣

1 week ago. Sun 14 Apr 2019 08:50:04 PM IDT

I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm me. I eat food. I have curves. I have more fat than I should. I have scars because I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, some hate me. I have done good. I have done bad. I go without make up and sometimes don't get my hair done. I'm random and crazy. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. I won't change!! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart!! I make no apologies for the way I am. If you're proud of who you are. Then thats all that matters.

 

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose 🌹🌹❣❣

1 week ago. Sun 14 Apr 2019 07:10:28 PM IDT

When you know that you made the right choice and you have no regrets and you cant wait for your new life to start but your scared and worried just remember to take it one day at a time and everything will work itself out and you dont have to worry about it anymore just keep going and know your doing this for you and no one else and just belive in yourself and do what makes you happy. Your stronger then what you think at this second but your family and true friends will be there to hold you up. Love yourself more then you love anyone or anything else and you will always come out on top and remember you hold all the power you only give others as much power as you want.

 

❣❣🌹🌹Emberose 🌹🌹❣❣

1 week ago. Fri 12 Apr 2019 07:32:30 PM IDT

Ok so im in the mood to write so here we go.

 

Why do people have to have a attitude just because shit is not their way and you dont want to do it their way. And then you have people who try to blame you for everythi g bad that has happened and its really bad when a 7yr old can see there are issues in your life that are wrong and shouldnt be seeing it. Thats when you need to really sit back and realize that maybe something needs to change or its going to get worst. Ok thats all.