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Growing and becoming a better sub

I thought I knew at least a half of what BDSM contained but...
{Reading blogs}...?
Oh my! I am not even quarter way.

EVERYDAY IS A LEARNING DAY
1 week ago. Sun 14 Apr 2019 07:21:21 PM IDT

I submit because I want to surrender,

I submit because my helplessness is my gift to you,

I submit because it makes me so much happier,

I submit because I love you,

And in all those reasons...

I do not submit because I am weak.

 

I submit because I want to explore,

I submit because I trust you

I submit because I want to give up control,

I submit because this is how I show my love,

And in all those reasons...

I do not submit because I am weak.

2 weeks ago. Thu 11 Apr 2019 12:19:59 AM IDT

Everyday is an opportunity to learn something new and today I have learnt that there is actually more to BDSM.

 

I used to think that BDSM only involved the control of our sexual desires, orgasm, pain threshold etc. I have heard on multiple occasions that it involves trust but not with so much emphasis. Today, I would like to emphasise on the nonsexual components of BDSM.

 

BDSM involves trust, emotional connection, personal development and may also include friendship. Without this fundamental facts, the relationship may actually never last.

 

1. Trust

Trust is the ability to place confidence in; to rely on, to confide, or have faith, in. Can I trust you as a Dom, that you will respect my limits? Can I trust my sadistic master that he will not hurt me? Can I trust my online sir to keep my private pictures and videos confidential? Trust is very crucial for any relationship to succeed. For a normal, vanilla relationship to last, trust is needed, what more for a BDSM relationship?

 

2. Emotional connection. 

Does your Dom relate to your emotions? When you are feeling low, does he or she try to cheer you up? Apart from when you are role playing, does he or she actually relate to you as a person? Does he or she care enough to know how your day was? When you are feeling sick, does it bother him or her?

A person who is emotionally connected to you will never hurt you intentionally. Your tears, (and note, I am not talking about the session tears) but your tears, pain, laughter, joy, happiness and sorrow from your life experiences should actually move your Dom.

 

3. Personal development

The main reason that I have been looking forward to BDSM is because I have been looking forward to developing myself as a person. I know that I can learn best when my Dom is teaching me. I know that I can achieve more with the help of my Dom. I can reduce my laziness, if my Dom helps me. Apart from sexual development, what personal goals have you achieved? Have you finally managed to cut down your weight? Have you started managing your time well? Have you stopped postponing?

 

4. Friendship

I consider friendship in BDSM to be a summary of all this qualities.I can trust my friend not to hurt me. I can trust my friend to keep my secrets. I can trust my friend to care about my emotional needs. A true friend will always seek to develop you as a person. A friend is a person whom you share your joys and sorrows, laughter and cries, happiness and tears. Do you actually consider a Dom as a friend? Apart from the sex session, can you share a laugh with your Dom? Can you keep each other secrets? Can you speak out for what you truly feel? Do you fear your Dom or do you respect them? One should not fear their master but they should respect them.

 

For the ones engaging in 24 hours BDSM lifestyle, I may not know if what I have shared is applicable.

But...

In short, there is more to BDSM than just sex.

7 months ago. Sun 16 Sep 2018 02:00:47 PM IDT

"I have known about BDSM for a while now and I find it intriguing. Despite the fact that I desired to explore my wildest fantasies, I have always feared the extremes. This has always made me to stick to vannilla sex while secretly desiring BDSM."

 

This blog post is dedicated to the new submissives who have seen and researched more about BDSM but they have always feared to explore it. 

 

Tips on starting your exploration process as a submissive.

 

It is always hard to know what you like unless you start the exploration process. If one is in a vanilla relationship, they may not know the joys and pleasures that come with kink. The following are the steps in the exploration of your body as a new submissive;

 

1. Overcoming your fear.

Fear will always prevent us from accomplishing our desires. This fear should be mastered if one has to venture into new things. I am not saying that a person has to try out everything that comes with BDSM but one should also not fear everything in BDSM. Find your hard limits and soft limits.

 

 2. Trust.

One should look for a Dom who he or she could trust. Find a Dom who cares for you so that you will not get permanently hurt in the process of fun. Ensure that he knows your limits and you have a safe word to be more safe. Your Dom will guide you in the exploration of your soft limits during training. Your hard limits should not be explored.

 

3. In case he or she oversteps your limits;

Use your safe word.

 

4. Finally, the most important thing is to enjoy your bondage sex and to do whatever your dominants tell you to.

 

Those are the processes I know of, if you have more. Please add in the comment section below. 

7 months ago. Sat 15 Sep 2018 05:05:46 AM IDT

We are all faced with certain challenges in our lives, for instance, the death of a loved one. It is in such cases that you get all confused and you don't even know what to do. You first deny completely what has happened until you see him in the mortury. Despite the fact that you have seen the evidence, you still want to argue with the facts. These are the times when you really don't feel like hearing sorrys from people because they are supporting the fact that he is gone. You go and look for distractions but it does not change the fact that he is gone. You feel all alone and you even forget the basics. For real, this is when friends come in handy and they have to remind what you are the basics. Trust me, this are the days that despite the fact that you are very good at giving advice, your advice does not comfort you anymore.

 

Death is a bitch. It really knows how to fuck people up. DEATH IS A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH. I HATE IT!!!

7 months ago. Fri 14 Sep 2018 04:42:33 PM IDT

As much as we always like to be loyal and pleasing to our Doms, sometimes we do things that we know very well would anger our masters. This usually happens because of our human nature. And to make myself more clearer, I am not talking about the mistakes we commit willingly. I am talking about those things we do and we never meant to do them. Yes, he/she expects us to be loyal to him or her but lying just because you are afraid of making him or her sad, is the worst mistake that could ever be committed. It is also not right to keep your mistakes hidden from your Dom. Everything that is hidden would eventually come out in the light. It is mandatory to be truthful, so as to establish a long term relationship of trust with our Dom. We should always learn how to come clean with him/her and accept the punishment that would come with it gratefully. They know that we are not perfect and trying to be truthful to them despite our imperfection is what sets the differences between a good and a bad sub.