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Broken Dragon

Writing is a way for me to track my progress and grow in my roll as a submissive and a person.
19 hours ago. Thu 21 Feb 2019 12:58:26 AM IST

 

What is the difference between a winter rain and a summer rain. 

During the winter the rain seems to bring gloomy days. Days filled with moody depression.  Days only good for reading or watching a movie. A little might even enjoy an afternoon of coloring.

I love a nighttime summer storm! The deep low growl of rumbling thunder at a distance. The midnight sky as smooth as velvet. Brought to life my mother nature's fireworks display.  I am in awe of the colors as they dance across the empty sky. 

Today seemed to be a mixture of the two. The thunder as it echoed across the mountain. The sound of the rain on the metal roof. Watching the raindrops hit the window and shimmy down the glass.  The combination brought a deep feeling of contentment. 

Therapy is going well. We are still in the passive motion stage but my pain level is controllable. Sir and I are doing great. He had business that has taken him back home for a couple of weeks. I miss him like crazy but we both have commitments. Which will only make our time together more precious. 

I had planned something special for his birthday which we had to put on hold because of my shoulder. I will certainly try to make it worth the wait.

I sometimes get a little frustrated with myself. Being rather new at this and trying to get things right. I sometimes let my independent streak get in my way. Sir is so patient with me. I still at times question if I am submissive enough. He always assures me that I am.

He is truly the only one who matters. We will withstand all the storm clouds filled with thunder and lightning and whatever else life has in store for us. The search for the deep connection of love and trust between a Dom and his submissive  is what drew me to this lifestyle.  There are times when we are Dom and sub. Then there are times when he is Master where there is no doubt that I trust him so completely that I am his slave. He doesn't have to demand or command me. He leads me and guides me to please us both. 

 

As always thank you for stopping by my blog. Have a blessed and wonderful day.

💜💜

2 days ago. Mon 18 Feb 2019 08:44:46 PM IST

After reading the blog I posted last night I decided I should go back through my recent blogs.

It seems I owe my fellow kinksters an apology.  Since surgery some of my blogs have not made a lot of sense and I rambled quite a bit. I am going to chalk it up to pain and medication and apologize for the craziness. 

When I write there is usually a reason behind the blog. I write about abuse so that maybe it will help others to recognize what they are dealing with. I like writing about the successful part of my life to prove you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

I write a lot about my relationship with Sir because he completes me. I do it because a lot of people come here with misconceptions about this lifestyle. They base their needs and desires on fiction novels and porn. We all have to start somewhere. So I write about real life, not a dream or a fantasy .

We came into each other's life at a time when we both were in need of someone. We clicked and before I knew it I fell in love with him. Then he fell in love with me. Our dynamic works because it is built on us. Our needs, our desires,  the things that make us happy. We both wear many hats in this relationship. We aren't hung up on titles or protocols. Sometimes I call him by his given name, sometimes it's Sir or Daddy and sometimes when we are really close and I am feeling completely owned he is my Master. I do my best to be everything he wants or needs.

I share the things we do. Like him taking care of me while I'm recovering, so that others both Dom and sub can see how close it makes us. I share the fact that i love to be curled up at his feet with my head in his lap. He didn't ask me to do that, nor did he demand it of me. I ask if I could and he agreed then it just felt right to both of us. 

We share with you some of the ties we do. We share so that subs who are not a size 1 can see that a good rigger can make beautiful ties no matter your size or limitations. I love the feeling I get when we are working on a tie. Rope space is a unique place and Sir watches over me closely when we do this.

I also understand by sharing these things that some might want what we have in more ways than one. To those I will apologize for over reacting last night. I am flattered that you are interested in getting to know my Sir. He has a big heart and tries to help newcomers from falling victims to some of the predators on this site. However I must advise you that he spends most of his time spoiling the girl who lights up his world.

Most of all Sir I love you for loving me the way you do. I love putting that smile on your face. Your arms are where I feel safe from the world. My knees get weak when you whisper I love you in my ear. You make it easy for me to be yours.

 

As always thank you for stopping by my blog. Have a blessed and wonderful day.

💜💜💜

 

3 days ago. Mon 18 Feb 2019 08:37:31 AM IST

Just feeling a bit protective this evening. 

 

*** I am going to edit this blog to include the following :***

I think I have an amazing Dom. Is he perfect? No..... Am I perfect?  No..... Are we perfect for each other?  Yes... Do I want to share him? Not really... Although I would rather have part of him than none of him. I just can't do poly. I don't mind him mentoring and guiding others to find a good solid relationship of there own. However until the day he removes my collar I am his and he is mine.

5 days ago. Sat 16 Feb 2019 03:20:16 PM IST

 

 

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.

~Eleanor Roosevelt~

 

Before my surgery I wanted to make a habit of sharing some of my favorite quotes or sayings. I have found that to be a bit challenging. 

I am a morning person so I do my best writing early. Lately that is when I am dealing with the discomfort of pain and waiting for medication to take the edge off. Then I wind up a little spaced out.

I like to tell you why a quote or a meme applies to me. I do that so you might be able to relate to it as well.

We are all unique individuals. We all learn at different speeds. We are not characters in a dime store novel. We are real people with real problems in a real world. Including all the ups and downs that go with it. We have to have the courage to face our challenges head on. Be strong my friends life will be better.

5 days ago. Fri 15 Feb 2019 11:18:59 PM IST

I have seen a star covered sky

I have watched the eagles as they fly

I have watched as a red tailed hawk swept across the forest floor to pick up a scurrying squirrel.

I've watched the steam as it  bellowed from the nostrils of a majestic morning buck.

I've sat on the forest floor as deer sniffed to figure out if I were a threat or not. She was so close I could have touched her nose.

I watched as a doe left a tiny fawn at the base of a big oak tree. I watched and waited for her return. I was about to give up on her as the sun was sinking down. When she left him there again the following morning I laughed and thought I'm her babysitter. I guess she was right. She left him at that tree every day for two weeks. I carried my rifle every time I went out. I might eat him when he's grown but for those few days I was his protector. 

I have been the hunter, the hunted the protector, the provider caregiver. I have been weak and I have been strong. I have loved and lost. I have fought and lost, then dusted myself off and fought again. Even I know the mighty oak must bend to the wind or be uprooted. 

I have watched as the ocean whitecaps kissed snow covered beaches.

The many challenges of life sometimes takes its toll on both our body and our spirit. During those times I try to reflex on all the amazing things I have seen and been a part of over the years.

2019 is set to be an outstanding year. There will be challenges, triumphs, a lot of love and laughter. I hope each of you find your lives more fulfilled and happier than you have ever been.

Thank You Sir for helping me stay grounded and focused on the things that are truly important.  I love you more and more each day.

 

As always thank you for stopping by my blog. Have a great day!

💜💜

6 days ago. Fri 15 Feb 2019 12:13:15 AM IST

Rope and Roses what more could a girl want. Thank you Sir for the beautiful rose. I think it is a great idea to have rope at both places. 

I promise when my arm is better I will be totally yours and we will make up for lost play time.

1 week ago. Wed 13 Feb 2019 01:32:11 PM IST

I don't think I can ever say thank you enough for all the things you do for me. You do big things, little things and so many things that most people take for granted. Most of all thank you for just being you.

This past week has been a challenge in more ways than one. Dealing with the pain of surgery and then the rumors here. It all got me down a bit. Your love and encouragement kept me focused and on the right path.

You know my strengths and weaknesses and how to get me to apply myself. I love you Sir with every fiber of my being.

I was really glad you were here to go to my first therapy session with me. Four weeks of passive therapy then go from there. I know this will be a long road back but it will all be worth it in the end.

I will miss you not being here. I know you have other things to do. Everyday gets us one step closer to forever.

I know there may be those who would like to see us fall apart. However they have no idea how much time we spend just talking and being in each other's arms. Building a relationship that can weather the storms of life. 

Thank you for reminding me of what I said on here a few months back. I don't run, I don't hide and  I will not leave this site because of foolishness. I have a home here where I can write freely. I can talk about abuse, escape and success without people being judgemental. Even though some of my support group jumped ship this past week. It may have hurt my feelings but it is what it is. I'm still here.

Hugs and Kisses Sir.

1 week ago. Mon 11 Feb 2019 05:09:10 PM IST

Sometimes I need a reminder of who I am. You can't walk through the fire and expect not to get burnt or scarred. Because with each new scar comes a new accomplishment and stronger sense of self.

As I sit quietly blogging in the living room I can hear the soft sounds of my Sir sleeping. Things are as they should be in my world.

I hope that each of you may someday find the love and committed connection that we have. I don't want to remember my world without him in it. We complete each other. He is the yin to my yang..

A number of years ago a friend of mine and I were discussing a man's intentions to turn me into a more feminine version of me.(he equated the process as turning a Tiger into a house cat) Yesterday as I was wearing one of Sir's button up shirts and making us some coffee I realized that the domestication process is complete. The tiger/warrior/dragon now sleeps. I am safe from all harm in the arms of my Sir.  

1 week ago. Sun 10 Feb 2019 12:25:40 PM IST

I have got to be the most spoiled sub on the planet. As most of you know I had total shoulder replacement last Friday. Who was here to take care of me? My Sir. 

We have a very unique and special dynamic.  We take care of each other. Maybe I shouldn't share our life with you. Maybe I should keep all the good things about our life and our journey to myself. Maybe then people won't be trying to cause problems or starting rumors. 

For those of you worried that we were breaking up. Not happening,  not even close! He is the love of my life. I am a grown woman, he is a grown man and we behave as such.

Before he left home coming here today I sent him a request for some toy cleaner and a bottle of flavored lube. He called me from a toy store to ask what flavor. They had so many choices! I decided on green apple this time.

When he got here he held the bag behind his back and said, "I got you something? " My little jumped out with,"what is it Daddy?" He smiled and said it's something you ask for.  I'm squirming, Oh Daddy you got my fox tail!  He just smiled. He gave me the box and I squealed with delight. A beautiful black and white fluffy fox tail.  Daddy helped me open it and put  it in. AMAZING! !!

Needless to say if we are going to fight and break up I want to do it like this. The green apple lube tasted amazing! I got to be his little fox which by the way was sexy as hell. I look forward to my arm getting well enough for me to wear my fox tail and heels around the house to make my Daddy smile all day. 

Thank you Sir for spoiling both me and the little me. I love the fox tail and the big girl coloring book and colored pencils. 

As always thank you for stopping by my blog. Have a blessed and wonderful weekend. 

1 week ago. Sat 09 Feb 2019 02:51:51 AM IST