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Broken Dragon

Writing is a way for me to track my progress and grow in my roll as a submissive and a person.
2 hours ago. Wed 12 Dec 2018 06:21:07 PM IST

It seems as though my Dom has been involved in quite a few scandalous relationships here in this community. Leaving hurt feelings with a number of subs. He probably isn't to popular with some of the Dom's either. Who among us is perfect? Certainly not me!

Like I said in a previous post, I don't  run, I don't hide and I don't bury my head in the sand. I am not the text book or dictionary version of a submissive. I am a strong independent woman with a mind of her own. I don't ask my Dom for permission to blog or make comments. He doesn't tell me who I can or cannot talk to. Because first and foremost I am an individual. I am not a mindless, brainless zombie to kiss someone's feet just because they say so.

My Dom brings out the best in me. We are a good fit because he loves the Dragon just as much as the submissive. There is a side of me that he lights up. The side that stays within inches of him when we are out. I don't want anyone to doubt who I am with. His hand on my cheek makes me weak in the knees. His kiss, his touch as he takes me in his arms. He doesn't have to tell me to kneel I do it on instinct. Sitting on a pillow in the floor between his legs brings me comfort. His arms are my safe haven.

I am well aware that my euphoria my not last forever. One of us could choose to walk away tomorrow. I would not ever regret having him as my Dom. 

I'm a poker player and I think I will hold this hand and play it out.

 

***This is an add on to my original post. ***

  What I am trying to say is I can't change anything. I am not hiding from his past. If it ended between us tomorrow I would still be here. I would still be the same Dragon. Maybe with blue eyes instead of brown, but I wouldn't give up.

2 days ago. Mon 10 Dec 2018 04:48:40 AM IST

When I first came on this site I had some not so pleasant experiences. One of which was a man asking for nude photos.  Like a fool I sent a few. Needless to say I wasn't his type. He disappeared leaving me feeling like a fool. I then realized if a man couldn't except my limits on photos he wouldn't respect my limits on anything else.

I have always been upfront with my Dom about everything that has happened here.

A little while ago I was bantering back and forth with someone who is classified as a Dom. At the end of our conversation he said I should be careful who I share pictures with. So I am passing his warning along to all Subs especially you new folks. Don't share pictures unless you want threatened somewhere down the road.

I don't run,  I don't hide and I don't play games. 

 

The comment made yesterday my not have been directed at my ignorance for sharing pictures. However it is something we all need to remember before we share.

3 days ago. Sun 09 Dec 2018 06:33:13 PM IST

What a year this has been! If you had told me last December that I was going to be in love, be on The Cage, be physically able to be back involved in the martial arts, I would have said you were crazy.

 

Yet here I sit on a cold, wet December morning posting on a BDSM site called The Cage. I have survived the challenges that life has thrown my way so far. I see myself as a strong, independent woman with a mind of her own. I've been down the road of degradation and abuse and will not allow that to ever happen again. I can't for the life of me see how that can bring pleasure to anyone. My understanding of a Dom and sub relationship  is to give each other mutual pleasure. You do that through trust and honest communications. If I trust you with my mind, my body, my soul, should you not treat me the same as well as you would treat yourself. A sub is an extension of her Dominant. Her deepest disire is to please him, to bring him joy. Why would that same man want to set her up for failure? Why would the man that she craves tear her down? Why would that same man take that vulnerable woman who bows at his feet just to break her? I don't understand. 

Yet, why do some subs use their submission as a bargaining tool. Why use something so precious to hurt someone who cares so deeply for you? Why trap them into paying your bills if you have no feelings for them? Why lead them on? Why mislead a man who see you as a part of himself? Why lie when things go wrong? There are all types of abuse and it is done on both sides of the coin.

 

I guess I am rambling this morning.  After spending some quality time with the man I love, I have a better understanding of who I am. Because of him I know that I can be that strong independent woman when I need to be and the submissive who craves to please him. He will challenge me to be the best of both women. He will not abuse me nor degrade me. I will do my part to always be a positive reflection of us both. 

He encourages me to get back involved in the martial arts to any level that I want. He helps me be a better me.

I guess the bottom line to me is this. Even though every dynamic is different it is still the same. Trust, honesty, respect and communications. Those are the corner stones we build on. I feel very blessed to have found a man that I can share my whole world with. I hope is that you can find that same happiness. 

6 days ago. Thu 06 Dec 2018 05:53:30 AM IST

I have discovered a lot of things over the past week. One of the most important is that I am truly loved. Sir made the 6 hour trip to be with me at Saturday's martial arts clinic.  Even after all these years I walked in and was treated with much respect. I also discovered that prior to my retirement I had branded a certain look that got people's attention. The clinic went great and it was really nice to have Him there with me.

It was surprisingly easy to turn the black belt attitude off and be His submissive as soon as I stepped off the dojo floor. I've also learned that I am a submissive with a slave's heart. Which probably explains why I have been so easy for people to abuse. When you put everyone else first it leaves you vulnerable.

I got sick on Sunday and my loving Sir has stayed with me and taken care of me. He insisted I go to the Doctor today. Two shots and meds and he is staying another night to make sure I'm okay. I am his and he is mine. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you again Sir and I look forward to Christmas.  

1 week ago. Thu 29 Nov 2018 05:22:13 PM IST

I can't contain them this morning.  The butterflies in my tummy have turned into vultures the size of airplanes.  I am running around is this done is that done. Where did I put that.

Why am in such a state? If you remember a post from a while back I said I was attending a martial arts clinic December 1st. When I told Him about it He started me on a workout schedule so I would be prepared.  Which lead to this conversation a week ago:

Him: Are you ready for the clinic?

me: there are a couple of katas that don't want to click, but all in all, I'm ready other than being a little nervous. 

Him: Do you want me to go with you?

me: I can't ask you to come then and Christmas and I really want you here Christmas. (Slight pause, then in his best Dom voice, which makes me melt)

Him: That was not the question. The question was do you want me to go with you to the clinic? 

me: of course I do, but

Him: Then it's settled, I will be there on Thursday before the clinic and I have already made plans to be there Christmas. 

He just called to say He is headed this way which is about a six hour drive depending on traffic. Meeting Him for the first time and having Him go with me to this clinic means more to me than words can say. I have never had anyone support my love for karate the way He does. 

It has been 15 years since I have attended a formal class or clinic. I always get butterflies a few days before but this time it is different. A young man who was once my student is now my instructor.  I certainly want to do my best on Saturday. 

I know that with Him here encouraging me that I will do well. Plus we get to spend some quality real time together.  

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I hope you all have a great weekend!

2 weeks ago. Fri 23 Nov 2018 06:18:14 PM IST

I know that in this lifestyle some people enjoy breath play. Please only engage in this with someone you truly trust with your life.

I can tell you from personal experience it is a traumatic experience to shoved against a wall and be violently choked. If this has ever happened to you be sure you inform your Dominant before any such play. He may be able to go slow enough that you can let go of the fear of having a hand on your neck.

 

To defend against a violent choke hold you first have to stop the panic in your brain. Remember to press your chin downward as hard as you can this will aide in being able to breath. Remember to work against the thumbs. He will also be close enough for an ear slap. Cup your hands and with all the energy you can find hit his ears. Scream as you do it! Knees only bend one way. Kick it hard. Your main objective is to deflect his attention from choking you.

Same thing if he has his forearm shoved up under your throat. Before he hits you with his free hand direct his attention to the knee you just took out. Stomp his toes, poke his eyes. Because after he hits you that first time the momentum will be his.

 

I wrote these Self Defense tips to give you some ideas on how to stay safe. The holiday season brings out a lot of crazy people please don't allow yourself to become a victim. 

2 weeks ago. Thu 22 Nov 2018 03:38:59 PM IST

Happy Thanksgiving! May your day be filled  with good food, family, friends, football and kink.

 

 

3 weeks ago. Wed 21 Nov 2018 02:57:40 PM IST

One of the biggest reasons I got involved in the martial arts is self defense.  I promised myself that absolutely no one would ever hurt me again in anger.

Sure you can pull my hair while we are enjoying ourselves. You can even put your hand softly on my neck. However you will not do those things in anger.

If you are a survivor of abuse it is imperative that you share this with your Dominant.  Little things like a hair pull or his hands on your throat could trigger your past.

 

Hair pulls range from tugs to violent snatches that take you backward or sometimes all the way down.

The common hair pull is usually meant to stop you from leaving and turning you around. So turn around and with the heel of your palm hit him in the nose and poke your fingers in his eyes. If you want free it requires you answer the attack with violence.

There are three stages to self defense.

Breaking free ...which is the part I hope to give you a small insight  of.

Containment...this is where you have reversed the control and you control them until help arrived.

Finish It...this is where I know that it is either you or me and I plan on being the one to walk away.

The last two you would need a regular class for. I would encourage all of you to take a self defense class.

Remember to keep it simple. Little things are easier to remember if you are in a panic. I'll say it again knees and elbows only bend one way and if you poke them in the eyes they can't see you. If you are grabbed work against that thumb. 

If you don't own a weapon many household items are good weapons. A broom, mop or rake can be used like a staff. A baseball bat by the door or by your bed. Think smart don't allow yourself to be a victim. 

3 weeks ago. Tue 20 Nov 2018 01:44:23 PM IST

Even kinky people need a few good self defense tips. One of our best defense's  is being aware of our surroundings.  I'm sure you've heard the term reading the room.

Take the time when you leave the store to glance around where your car is parked.

Always take your keys out before you get to your car.

Avoid loading yourself up with bags. Don't look like an easy target. 

Talk to your kids about what to do if you get in a confrontation. 

All cars today are suppose to be equipped with an inside the trunk deck release.  Examine your trunk and find that release. Teach your children what to look for. While you are there see if you can get to any taillight wires. 

Never scream help, scream fire! People have become desensitized to the word help, they don't want to get involved.  If you scream fire people will at least look your way.

If you don't carry a weapon put a can of wasp and hornet spray in your car. Also put it in convenient places in your house. It will spray a good 15' and burns the eyes.

One of the most common ways for an assailant to grab you is a wrist grab. It doesn't matter if it is one hand or two the same principle will apply. Two things to always remember. ..knees only bend in one direction and always work against the thumb.

One hand grab...ALWAYS look where there tumb is. You can't break free pulling against fingers, but if you pull against their thumb it is much easier. Distract them by screaming and kick their knee, then jerk your arm against their thumb. You can also make a fist with the hand they are holding, grab it with your other hand. Then in one motion step and pull against their thumb. Give it a try. 

 

3 weeks ago. Mon 19 Nov 2018 03:30:05 PM IST

Years ago high heels were just a part of who I was. They were just an extension of my feet. I could sprint fast enough to catch a 13 year old boy with a smart mouth. I was also well balanced enough to kick a 6 foot man in the head.

Then in a matter of seconds a fall playing basketball messed up my foot and ankle.  Up until recently I haven't worn heels in years. Yesterday as I strapped on a nice pair of 3" heels a lot of memories came flooding back. I used to teach a class called High Heeled Self Defense.  Why would now be any different? I know that most of you wear heels. So here are a few tips.

If someone has you in a bear hug from behind, bring your foot up to his knee, angle your foot to run down the shin and stomp the top of the foot.

Heels also make you tall enough for other thing's.

A bear hug from the front.. cup your hands like you are swimming, arms at your side, now swing upward to the ears. This can be very painful and should break the hold.

You cannot rely on a strike to the groin. In today's drug induced world they may be oblivious to the pain. However, knees and elbows only bend in one direction. A well placed kick just at the top of the knee will set you free.

Don't be afraid to poke your fingers in their eyes. They can't catch what they can't see.

Online saftey...We can't emphasize enough..keep the other person talking. Find out how much experience they have...don't just send pictures or do as they say. Don't give them your phone number or let them move you off here to chat. As long as you are here they can be turned in to the administrator.

Please stay safe!