Don't Poke the Grizzly. (comments welcome, sometimes...)

Well, I've gotten to a point where I can deal with my mother's issues and still have some time on my hands, so here I am again. I'll be spending the next few months trying to reconnect with the community and see where we are at with everything. Of course, I am probably just as opinionated as I've always been, but really... it's nice to just get the chance to write again after such a long hiatus. Maybe I'll even start looking for a play-partner again to satisfy some urges I've been having and put my experience to good use.

Either way, just glad to be back, even if I'm a little bored.

Hope everyone had a good holiday and enjoys 2023 as it unfolds before us!

Just a quick reminder that today is Veterans Day.

I want to say 'Thank you for your service' to all of my battle buddies and everyone that served in the military, regardless of what time or place. Your sacrifice is appreciated even by those that served along with you. So make sure you get out there today and enjoy your day, maybe stop by a gravesite or two and plop a small flag on them, and get all the free stuff that all these appreciative people are offering you.

You deserve it.

No one tells you how you're going to handle it if someone close to you comes down with something as crippling as dementia or alzheimers. I got to learn that first hand when my mother was diagnosed earlier this year and now that I've spent quite a bit of time taking care of her it's devastating.

It has literally changed my life in ways that I can't even comprehend at this point. And honestly, I don't see that changing back to my old normal anytime soon... unless the worst happens, and I can't even begin to fathom that.

It's just odd to me that in my 44 or so years of life, I have cared for people, been to war, finished my graduate degree, rise up the corporate ladder (still climbing), been the trainer/leader/Dominant partner my lifestyle partners needed... and nothing was nearly as all encompassing hard, time consuming or emotionally draining than caring for the woman that brought me into this world while she becomes something far less than the intelligent, decisive, goofy feminist (sometimes to her detriment) that I always knew.

It's made my life more of a shell at this point too, as I typically work, sleep, eat, and care for her now.

I used to have time for the important things in my life... like the lifestyle and my hobbies and now... well, it is what it is.

Only came on here to vent because yesterday I realized that the look she's adopted when she's resting reminds me of a feral animal, confused ad to what's going on and it rips me apart to know I can do nothing to stop it.

So, I've pretty much shut down here for a few weeks, including breaking off contact with people that I actually enjoyed getting to know because of some things in my life. Destroyed my profile, removed my ad, and stopped writing. And while from the outside that may seem like an extreme thing to do, don't worry about me.

I received notice that my mother is having memory issues, which is mostly affecting her short-term memories, and because of that my life has changed a bit. Going from having just myself and my kids to worry about to having to care for my mother on a daily basis makes it so I don't have the time I used to in order to invest it here, or into people I'm meeting. As such, I figured it's better if I simply cut ties as I can't really leave her at the moment, and I don't want to invest time into something that I don't have the opportunity to follow up with... or at least won't for (possibly) years.

Apologies to anyone who I might have upset. All I can say is that if I can't take of my own responsibilities (my family including my aging parents) then I can't consider myself a Dom in any way, shape or form. Until these things calm down on my end, I'll be fairly absent from here. I still consider this community one of the best in the lifestyle, even if things are changing a bit to resemble more of its competition... I simply don't have time to invest right now.

Feel free to ping me and I'll try to get back to you if you're wanting to just chat... I'll sign in from time to time to read all of the blogs I enjoy and reply then.

Thank you all for your understanding,

TTD 

It's time for me to settle in, take an edible and listen to some music. That being said, it's always fun to share what I'm listening to and thus I think I might just do that now. I have weird tastes: grew up in a home where my father was a musician when he was younger and had a fairly popular band before he went into the Service and had tastes that ran from rock, pop, country and blues that I kind of attained through him. Grunge and heavy metal became my jam for most of my young life in the 90s and then I discovered rap... and it was an acquired taste, but now I love it. And even now I'm learning to love new things, bluegrass and jam bands being the most recent ones I've fallen in love with... and I say you give them a try even if you don't have the urge to now. Billy Strings and Umphrey's Mcgee are my two favorites in those genres respectively. And of course humor and parody music like Weird Al or Li'l Dicky.

And then there's my personal favorite that I still haven't seen in person - Nine Inch Nails (NIN).

If you don't know who the band is, it's really one man - Trent Reznor. And he provided me basically the soundtrack of my life from teenaged years through my time in the Army. He's a talent that's once in a generation... a man who pioneered how to create a sound on your own with no help from others, playing every instrument and even making up instruments (like the straw) while crafting deep bass riffs that just speak to your soul. The band has always been on the cutting edge of music... and he's gone on to score movies now and barely tours compared to what he used to.

That's enough of my hero worship for the man that literally put BDSM music on the map... and if you weren't in highschool in the mid-90s you'd never realize just how crazy teenaged girls of all persuasions went when Closer came on at the dance.

Enjoy one of my favorites from them:

With that, I wonder what other people enjoy that reminds them of their youth, whether it was 20 years ago like me, or yesterday. What makes you think of the lifestyle, or even just makes you feel good inside? Share. I'd love to hear it!

It's weird to think about it, but everyone's perspective is not the same. Whether it's from how you were raised, where you live, how tall you are, what sex organs you have... any of those things and more could change the perspective of a person even slightly to make it different from your own.

Why am I on this right now?

Well, I normally don't take pictures of myself but I was thinking about it the other day when I was deciding to take a selfie to post it to my profile. You see, I'm 6'5" and so when I look in the mirror I see someone that looks different than when a woman, let's say she's 5'3", looks at me. As most women and social media darlings know, you typically look better if you take a picture of yourself from an angle that is above you. And typically you're going to look worse if you take a picture from an angle below you.

So... I did both. And I feel like the one from an upward angle is what I see when I look in the mirror... and yet, the perspective of everyone else has them looking up my nose (pictures don't lie).

So that difference in perspective it something to keep in mind when you're discussing things with a prospective partner, or even just an acquaintance here on TheCage. Make sure you remember that what you see/feel/hear isn't exactly what they do... and while you might think you're fairly attractive, they just might be fixated on the fact you didn't tweeze your nostrils today.

Have a happy day Cagers!

As the title says: enjoy your holiday today and make sure to stay safe particularly if you're going to be handling fireworks today. I don't know about you but I've been involved in a few close calls, and also have a few friends that have been injured in the past as well. Best to make sure you are situationally aware and take steps to stay safe. I know this is preaching to the choir for most of you, given we all tend to be very safe with what we do within the lifestyle, but a reminder doesn't hurt. :)

Along with that I'd like to extend a belated Happy Canada Day to our friends up north. Didn't know the holiday even existed until recently, thus the late salutations, but I hope you enjoyed it as well.

Honestly, it's great to be back on TheCage and I just wanted to share that with everyone here.

I didn't realize how much I missed the friendly atmosphere here, and I absolutely love the fact that everyone is still as welcoming and as open as they have always been. In today's society it seems we're all getting pulled further and further apart, and it's just nice to be able to have an honest conversation with someone here without having to worry it will devolve in some way, and I think that's a testament to the hard work people put into making this a safe place that's welcoming to others and policing themselves within the forum. I mean, you always have those one or two people that cause problems but it's not nearly as prevalent here as I've seen on other sites.

That being said, thank you all for making me feel welcome to the site after my absence. I look forward to meeting even more people here and sharing my experiences as well as learning from yours.

Been a long time since I've even thought about this blog let alone decided write something. Thats something, considering i tend to be quite an opinionated person normally. That being said... here I am again.

This isn't lifestyle related, as I am looking for a play partner at the moment, but more just an update since it's been before COVID.

I honestly love and hate the fact that my life has become 'work from home'... as I don't have to drive an hour to work but it also keeps me from interacting outside of the house too.

So what do I do yo sate that now? Go to a munch... no. Get a play partner... no. I join jiu jitsu and I'm absolutely shit at it. Kinda hard to casually practice with someone when I'm 6'5 and at least fifty pounds heavier than them... but it's been fun. Kinda reminds me of the workouts in the service, although I'm nowhere as in shape as I used to be.

Combine that with starting therapy recently and I am beginning to wonder just who I am anymore. Lol

Is this something that happens to all of us as we age? Just settling in and doing things that are healthy for us regardless of how unhealthy we really are? I wonder what other uncharacteristically me thing I will be doing next. :D

Maybe it's time to start hunting a play partner.

A few minutes until it happens, so simply a reminder from a long-time Vet. Figured my first blog in years should happen tonight, just a small reminder to those that have the honor of celebrating today.

Memorial Day is not about us Veterans, it’s about those that died to give us the ability to celebrate our freedom today. It’s about the graves in Arlington and across the world where US service-members have been buried. It’s about the people who gave everything so we could have what we have today. 

I write this because, while I appreciate all the people who have been thanking me for my service, just as other Vets appreciate it as well, the holiday is about those who never made it home. So enjoy your barbecue and your camping, your baseball and your day off work, your family and your friends. Just remember to think about those who don’t have that opportunity anymore for a split second while you do. They deserve it. And those of us that served with them will appreciate your recognition of them. 

And to those of you that head to the cemeteries to decorate the graves of the fallen each and every Memorial Day... thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Enjoy your Memorial Day.