I have come to appreciate I was not born an Alpha, rather it was something I morphed into as my training and then career demanded. Split second decisions, sometimes hard ones, needed to be made; they had to know if you were going to get emotional or “take it like a man” and move on. Like the ocean erodes the cliff, so did my submissive little girl. The Alpha persona started to work its way into all other parts of my life. I never saw it coming and I can only see it now if I look in the rear view mirror. It wasn’t as bad as Godzilla stomping the city, but you get the idea. So, I decided to try a little experiment over the last two weeks. Whenever possible, I brought out my submissive self in my day-to-day activities. In my thoughts, in my voice, in my interactions with people..... even my clothes. Turns out the “school girl look” I dig is actually on the racks in the stores right now. Wore a pleated plaid mini skirt and white button down shirt out with friends last Saturday and felt FABULOUS!!! This softer, gentler, more girly side of me is my true self and it is pretty amazing to rediscover. I always thought GirlyGirl was my costume; I had it backwards, Alpha-woman is my costume. How appropriate, what with Halloween just around the corner. That time of year when people can dress up and pretend to be something they are not. OR perhaps they get to dress up and be that one thing they are at their core. I can rock a WonderWoman costume and have done so for the last couple of years. She is a woman of power and I needed her strength at the time. There is ABSOLUTELY no way I can put that costume on this year. And what I have chosen to do this year thrills me. I have the cutest little polka-dot 1950’s house-wife dress (complete with the underskirt to poof it up) which I found at this 2nd hand boutique near me. And I have found all the associated adornments to complete the outfit. I am looking forward to being that one thing I am at my core (or one piece of it anyway). The best advice I keep seeing over and over is take some time and get to know yourself. Amen and Hallelujah- so far, so good..... I like GirlyGirl...... she is who I emulate.....It still requires some focus (training of this type cannot be learned or unlearned overnight ) and the great news is she gets easier - more natural- every day.