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Dark Thoughts of an Inexperianced Sub

Ramblings to write down to analyze my thoughts and cope with them. Sharing publicly because why not so guess.
1 hour ago. Thu 21 Mar 2019 04:28:25 AM IST

 

yes I am taking a break

yesterday was a bad day

today was a bad day

i came close to getting thrown out of my house onto the street

i need to take care of myself

and right now my loves and health are more important

 

ps

i will be addressing the snarky comments posted just because I said I was leaving again.

for everyone's info, that blog wasn't a farewell I'm quitting.

it was actually much much worse than that. Not that the rude ones cared to ask. 

 

Once again. I need to take care of my healthc and focus on my Loves before I reach an early grave. I have too much going on and I can't ignore it anymore. 

I don't expect you to care or understand

 

1 day ago. Wed 20 Mar 2019 04:37:37 AM IST

im out

this is such a cliche....

fuck it I quit

2 days ago. Tue 19 Mar 2019 12:13:16 AM IST

I'm going to be a little less filtered from now on. I have been a victim of horrible people and their actions so many times and I'm frankly sick of it. So I'm stepping up and saying:

The more Primal Deuu will be rearing her ugly head sometimes. Sometimes she's positively Feral. Have you ever seen a Feral Alpha? Scary right? (Also hot but we won't go there.) Now have you ever seen a Feral Omega before? You don't want to. 

But you probably will. 

 

So there will be new changes to this blog. In an effort to take my fucking life back I'm setting routines for myself. Here's the plan, I will post these every day. 

- Song Of The Day 

- One Journal/Discussion Post

- FuckBoi Ass Kicking Of The Day (you'll see) 

- A wild card that hasn't been decided yet.

 

I don't have it all worked out yet. But I'm not Done. Changes should be seen Within a few days. 

2 days ago. Mon 18 Mar 2019 10:28:29 PM IST

You can't call till your voice is running out
But I can't hear you now
I can't hear you now
I'm somewhere far away where you can't bring me down
So I can't hear you now
I can't hear you now

2 days ago. Mon 18 Mar 2019 09:10:57 PM IST

Cease and Desist

WARNING: Any institutions or persons using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, etc 

Furthermore, any institutions or persons using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, etc -

You do NOT have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures or likeness or videos or anything pm'ed or any other information about me on this site in any form, forum, Movie, Show, Video, project, study, court case or settlement both current and future in any way without MY EXPLICIT permission or a court ordered warrant. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal action to the harshest extent.

2 days ago. Mon 18 Mar 2019 06:23:31 AM IST

 

Memes and weirdness aside, always admired this video. So much art...well and anime boobs lol

4 days ago. Sun 17 Mar 2019 02:03:50 AM IST

Yes. I have a Dom.

He identifies as a Daddy. 

He is mine. 

I am his. 

It is sadly Online online for now. 

But I have dedicated myself to him WILLINGLY. 

I do not plan on asking to be released. 

He is a good Daddy and I love him very much. 

If you have a problem with that, me, or my Daddy:

then block me and do not send me a rude whiney message either

 

I don't control his actions. You can talk to HIM f you have an issue. 

But taking out frustration on a sub just because of who collared them is fucking rude. So consider yourself blocked as well for not only being rude, but talking bad about my Poly family, and for snapping at me when I literally did nothing to deserve the hate. 

Ive been collared for months and it's been fairly obvious. I even had his NAME in my collar for two days at one point. Maybe open your eyes, your brain, and don't be rude?

Oh and saying the (likely) reason why people don't want me here is because of my Dom is pure bullshit and that's pretty fucking uncalled for to say too. 

 

This is will be the the last time I think about you. It's amazing how fast a person can change their tune when they realize they can't get their way. 

 

Yes bitchy hypocritical drama blog.

Get over it because I got sent hate AGAIN. 

4 days ago. Sat 16 Mar 2019 09:28:12 PM IST

Honestly thinking of leaving Cage for good at this point. 

No one hardly ever uses chat, which makes me feel like my premium is for nothing. The few times there have been groups in chat as well I've been 100% ignored in even just saying Hi.

Yesterday I was told by someone that people were deliberately ignoring me and wanted me to leave. So I did. First of first I don't remember the name. Don't care because the bottom line is:

WE are killing Cage.

 

Between trolls, breakups, newbs, assholes, gossip girls, drama queens, IRL problems, etc. The cliques, the passive aggressive blog posts that STILL allude to drama. Especially when some involved are those who are permaBANNED from the site for a reason. We get it, you want to have your boo and friends or whatever it is here enjoying what you like together and sharing it with likeminded people. But when people cross the line and break TOS multiple times? Well don't break them then and maybe you can stay? There are lines you don't cross. And when you cross muliple you pay the price. Actions and words have consequences.

 

But then you have the multitude of cliques too on Cage. You know I came here because I was at a breaking point in my life. I have repressed my submissive side and nature my entire life. I never found ANYONE irl that was also into kink. I've NEVER met a realife Dom in the flesh. I grew up sheltered, and emotionally and verbally abused. My mother has tried to make me her live in assistant/helper/workerbitch my whole life, and her and her entire family expect me to roll over, submit, and just do what they expect and ask and continuing sacrificing my entire life to help them finish theirs. My life is better spent on others apparently.

 

I came to this site to keep sane.  I could have chosen Fetlife, or plenty of other websites. I chose this one because I thought it was better. And while I've met great people and I'm so happy to be getting better and Learning in this community.  However Ive also come across plenty of HORRIBLE people that make me once again want to isolate and never speak to another human being again. There are a few who I could probably look to as the main culprits for why people suddenly are telling me they want me to leave. I'm sure there were plenty who already didn't like me just because I'm hard to like. 

(yes I am aware and yes that's how you made me feel, not that you care...you only care about yourself.)

 

And at this point? Don't think I can take even the sight of you anymore. Multiple of you. People that I'm close to have been run away too, leaving me virtually alone here now.  I've been lied to quite a lot too. And been met with very shady people.  And I'm sick of it. This is why I don't try to make friends, or join groups anymore. Even when I keep mostly to myself it still happens and ruins everything. 

 

I havent made the decision yet. But I likely won't be using Cage anymore soon. Not that people care apparently. 

 

Yes Im pissy and passive aggressive because I'm angry. I literally have zero outlet in the world and now I'm gonna lose this one. So yeah. A little angry.

Get over it and ignore it ignore you don't like it. Clearly I'm most likely leaving anyways. 

5 days ago. Fri 15 Mar 2019 09:58:18 AM IST

Listen, I don't know why I made this either, ok? I know it sucks, I know I suck, more than half of you won't even understand it. But I'm still oddly and maybe sadly proud of it, ok?

 

Let's just say I had good games. Lost a lot of footage though. Even saved my entire team from a single instant killing attack. (Hey that's COOL for me!) But then stupidly lost footage Of it or I would just share to reddit. And reddit is kinda lame. Come Cage. I know I'm not the only gamer here. 

6 days ago. Fri 15 Mar 2019 03:04:41 AM IST

I hate League of Legends.

But this makes me want play it. 

Me: I HATE LOL AND KPOP!

Riot(game Developer): No you don't. 

Me:

 

 

Im gonna play video games.