Online now

The Beauty in Chaos

Here is my place to express thoughts, musings, and anything else that comes from my noggin. ~SSK
11 hours ago. Wed 19 Jun 2019 06:05:31 AM IDT

16 hours ago. Wed 19 Jun 2019 01:40:32 AM IDT

I find my patience running thin. So for those who need to hear this (and there are a few who REALLY need to hear it) I will say this. 

 

GET OVER YOURSELF AND ACT LIKE AN ADULT!

 

One of my biggest pet peeves about this site is that there are many subs who want Doms to fix them. Well guess what punkin? You have to fix your own damn self. Because guess what else? You can't fully trust or submit to ANYONE until you can kneel for yourself. You can "love him" until the cows come home but it doesn't change the fact that if something happens you don't fully trust that it will be okay in the end. Faith and trust are more than just trivial words that are being tossed around like a frisbee. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Kneel for you first. Be strong in your role, not only as a submissive but as a woman or man. Nobody is going to fix you. You have to fix you. 

 

Z

1 week ago. Tue 11 Jun 2019 06:37:21 PM IDT

 

You have no idea. 💋

1 week ago. Sun 09 Jun 2019 07:09:29 PM IDT

So I am all about pushing limits to free myself from the chains of what is considered normal and acceptable. So with the trust and support of my wonderful Daddy, I went to my first play party at a dungeon. 

Suffice it to say that the experience was something else! I had moments where I felt like a brazen goddess and others where I felt like a diffident little mouse. I saw things that intrigued me and things that made me wonder what I was doing there. I learned that I like to watch others, but, I also learned that while it's fun to watch, I'd rather play. 

I also learned (more like reenforced for me), that every dynamic is different. I have always adored what Daddy and I have. When I say I love that man, I am not kidding or just giving lip service. I love and trust him with my entire being! Our relationship is not just built on the physical. We nourish not only the romantic relationship between us, but the friendship too. Others approach a dynamic as more of a business transaction and that's okay. The understanding of what is and is not acceptable to allow to happen during a scene or dynamic is different, but again, that's okay. It was interesting to see how others explored their kink. 

Now that being said...

I was a mess by the end of the night, all but begging Daddy to play with me! See, my Daddy is a very smart man. He sent me there with His collar around my throat and a big purple butt plug in my ass....and no panties. At no point did my thoughts stray from my Owner. Not while I watched a female sub being skillfully flogged while chained to a Saint Andrew's cross, not when I watched a male sub devour his Mistress's pussy as if his next breath depended on it. It was an experience. 

2 more weeks and Daddy said His flogger will get a good workout. Hehe. I'm so excited to be with Him again in the flesh, but at least we can be together like this once a month... I have to be thankful for it because not everyone is as lucky as I am to have a truly incredible Dom AND be able to be with Him in person. Oh how I adore him.

zS💋

1 week ago. Thu 06 Jun 2019 06:28:11 AM IDT

It's the little things that I appreciate. Surprise phone calls and texts reminding me that I am loved by Him. Our relationship is not perfect or without it's challenges. But that's the thing, we find a way. We always find a way. That's what's important and what I think many have lost sight of. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, dynamic, situation. But through patience, devotion and understanding, we find the perfection in the imperfect. 

A good relationship is not something that happens overnight. We know this. It takes work. But the same can be said with kink dynamics. It's not always sunshine and orgasms. Sometimes, submission comes in the form of being His safe place to run to and be himself without fear. Sometimes it's pushing your own needs aside and understanding that people come before kink. While I know many get this, and I may be preaching to the choir here, I think that for many newer to the lifestyle may need to hear it. 

Look forward to having your "some kind of wonderful" but don't chase after the something wonderful for now. He or She is worth waiting for. Learn, grow, and explore, but don't force it. Because when your something wonderful does find you... It's beyond words. 

 

zS

3 weeks ago. Fri 24 May 2019 03:44:38 PM IDT

I have been purposefully avoiding blogging anything other than my writing. Why? Because too many stupid things are happening on the Cage and this mouth of mine is gonna get me banned! Lol.

Just a PSA from your favorite neighborhood fox......Have some class, or at the very least, pretend to while you're in public forum where others can and do see you. Some have been acting like tactless twats as of late and it's quite worrisome. 

 

......Also. When speaking of groups of people who run in a tight-knit social circle that is generally closed to others, they are referred to as "cliques" not "clicks". Too many of you do this and it's driving me batty. 

 

Hmmmm...think that's it! Remember now, just because you are always thinking of yourself doesn't mean everyone else is. Be kind, be safe, be a good person. Damn. 

 

zS 

4 weeks ago. Wed 22 May 2019 05:40:22 PM IDT

She stood there, waiting. Thinking a million things and nothing all at once. The cool air dancing across her flesh causing little hairs to stand on end and a shiver to race up her spine. Her lips parted slightly, to let out breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Anticipation.
She could almost feel the heat of his presence behind her but the fact remained that her eyes were covered and she didn't know for certain where he was. But she could feel his hungry gaze. The how was something she'd yet to understand, but his raw desire for her was palpable.
So lightly, enough that it could have been her own mind feeling it, she felt a sensation starting at her thighs and slowly moving up her body. Goosebumps broke out all over her body and she felt herself melt. The sensation travelled across her belly and lingered underneath her full breasts, teasing her until her nipples pebbled and became hard, making her bite her lip and pull in a deep breath. Only he could play her body like a finely tuned instrument.

 

 

 

So it's been a bit since I have written anything, and first time on my own. Do you like? Should I keep going? Let me know what you think.

~zS

4 weeks ago. Mon 20 May 2019 12:53:00 AM IDT

Yesterday, I handed over my fear. Laid at the feet of my loving Owner without hesitation. Gave my whole self to Him and felt not fear, but pure joy. 

A few years ago, I was in a relationship in which I was abused in more ways than one. I feared touch for a long time. I feared love for even longer. But since my abuser, I have not allowed anyone to have anal sex with me. Hard fucking limit. 

Over time, my wonderful Daddy and I have worked to overcome my fear. Anyone who has talked to me or read my words knows that I refuse to let fear rule me and this was no exception. 

Started out simple with touch. Moved on to finger, then to small plugs and then bigger and then metal and bigger. Until finally, yesterday, my mind, body, and my heart came together and let it go. I gave my Daddy all of me, and I am so happy. It always bothered me that he hadn't been able to use me in all the ways he wanted to. Of course, he didn't mind because he knew my issues and is a very kind and patient man. But still. I wanted to give him ALL of me. 

 

And I did. I'm so proud. And so happy I could surrender all of me to the Master of my heart. 

i love You Daddy. Thank You for being so patient and so wonderful. ❤️ Always. 

 

zS

1 month ago. Sun 12 May 2019 02:31:26 AM IDT

I have written about her before, but with Mother's Day only a day away, I thought I would stop and honor a very important woman in my life. My Mama, Morley.

I wrote "Morley and Me" sometime back sharing my love for her and now, it is even stronger than it was then. Morley has been such a steadfast and truly loyal part of my life since the day we met. She has seen me through some of the darkest points in my life and been a true Mom to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I needed her, she'd be in her car so quick it would make her landlord's head spin. This woman is truly a priceless gem amongst diamonds. She is ALWAYS there for me when I need her, offering her sage advice and sympathetic ear. And heaven forbid it be something wrong here, cause she'll be out for blood. "Nobody messes with MY MISSY!" But all that aside, she is an amazing woman who I truly look up to in so many ways that she probably doesn't even know. Even through our bullshit, she has been there for me like only a Mama could.

So, basically.... I love you Mama. You're the bestest!

Happy Mother's Day, from your Missy. <3

🌹Z

1 month ago. Fri 10 May 2019 07:46:42 AM IDT

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years now off and on. I made peace with the fact that they will always be a part of my life in some way. So me being me, I try to channel it into something positive. I do my best to be a good listener and be supportive of pretty much anyone I meet. The shoulder to cry on, the sounding board and sympathetic ear. And yet... When I'm having really bad brain days, during which I can be so very cruel to myself, I have a hard time leaning on anyone else. 

Yes, even Daddy. I'm so afraid to be a burden to anyone that I try to keep it to myself. The difference is that He won't let me hide. We promised each other a long time ago that we would never hide from one another. It's not rational, the awful things that happen in my head, but they're there. So tonight as I set down my sword and shield from another long day of fighting, I have to be thankful for Him. Daddy didn't just let me slink off to the shower to overthink. He reassured me of my place and of His love for me. 

See it's not all about the kink and I think there's a lot of folks that forget that. I love my Daddy as a man first, as a friend and mentor and of course dispenser of random knowledge. He soothes my turbulent mind with such ease even when I feel completely out of control. 

 

To all my fellow sufferers of bad brain days, low self-esteem, anxiety/depression and my future self: Be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can. You're beautiful and worthy of the love you have and then some. You are not defined by the wicked thoughts of a bad day. 

 

And to Daddy, thank You for loving me so deeply as You do. For never having issue reminding me that I am Yours and i am Your cherished girl. 

 

Namaste

zS