Y'all frustrate the fuck out of me some times for SURE. But I love this crazy, occasionally dysfunctional family I'm in.
Recently I've discovered that some of my partners have WILDLY different views than I do. If I'd discovered these views before getting to know them, I probably would have never spoken to these people - and never would have had the incredible interactions that I've had. And I will probably always, until the day I die, disagree with these people on these things. But I love them. And I'm a better person for having met them. They make me question myself, and when I'm done contemplating I can be confident in myself and in the moral compass I've created. And maybe, over time, I'll be an influence on them and maybe their views will change. Or mine will. Who knows.
It's really, *really* beneficial to keep people with dissenting views in your circle, and in your community.
People are very quick to cancel, to completely ostracize others based on their beliefs. To adopt an attitude of condescension and disrespect. After all, the other party deserves it, right? They're wrong. They attacked you, or your beliefs, or someone important to you.
I can't say who deserves what. All I know is that the end result caused by this divisive attitude is not in line with what either party claim to want.
I've been personally very offended by the views of some here, stuff like polyamory and collars and "the right way to do bdsm". And I do absolutely *everything* in my power to treat these people with the respect I would show any stranger on the street. Because getting defensive or resorting to insults shuts down any chance I have of them understanding how they hurt me. It gets me, and it gets the community, nowhere.
Remaining civil, avoiding the drama, it's not the easiest thing. But it's worth it to me because I don't want anyone to feel like I've felt when I've been told I was "doing it wrong". To me, a peaceful community with respectful discussion and debates are worth setting aside my pride and my desire to win an argument. It's worth resisting the urge to get defensive and personal. It's worth it to abandon the desire to "give them what they deserve".
Because I fucking love you, and I love this, and I want it to stay this. I don't want a faux-utopia of like minded stepford people, I want discussion and passion and contemplation and self reflection and growth! I want all of you here, whether I like you or not. I want the ignorant to be given a change to learn, I want the experienced to constantly question and evolve! Cause fuck, you're all amazing for just being here, being honest with yourselves about your desires and living your truth. We don't all have to get along but we're family. We're all worth it.
Breathe deep, seek peace<3