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The musings of a knotty mind.

Mostly just rants and random thoughts.
19 hours ago. Wed 23 Jan 2019 05:10:11 PM IST

I recently had a thought provoking conversation with a sub and wanted to delve a little deeper into the subject. 

A little background before I get into it..
I grew up in a vary anti violence home. My father is Buddhist and mother is Quaker.  Both practice meditation and mindfulness.  So it struck me how odd it was that the son (me) is a dominant with sadistic tendencies. 
Yes.. I am a kind and caring person. And I think that I get a lot of that from how I was raised.  But where did the sadist part come from? It has always been a part of me so I know it did not grow out of the abuse I have suffered.  Though that may have made it stronger.  And let me clarify.. when I say sadist I dont mean I tortured cats or something.  I have only ever been interested in causing pain and discomfort to someone who wants and enjoys that. A subs need is what allows me to act on and enjoy pain. Do I enjoy punishing a sub? Not always... it depends on why they are being punished.  The old saying "this is going to hurt me as much as it hurts you" can definitely be true. But other times... when I know deep down they are craving.. needing that punishment.. tears of frustration and helplessness are incredibly arousing.  And Knowing how I like to push a sub I am also a devout practitioner of aftercare. 
I always find it interesting whenever I reflect on my own actions and motivations and find such a stark contrast in aspects of my personality. But they somehow mesh together seamlessly.  A kind sadist? There are more things in this world horacio then have been drempt of by mortal man.

1 day ago. Wed 23 Jan 2019 01:02:17 AM IST

Laughing fills the air with silver echoes..
The hunter waits... concealed by coat and hat... keen eyes watch from afar...

He has time..

A flash of movement.. pale white wrapped tight in leather and silk, then she is gone...

The scent lingers.. he has her trail.

Smooth and slow.. he must not alarm his pray..
The tracks are faint.. he kneels.. fingertips trace the outline..

Heels... six inches...

Ears perk.. the rustle of satin from ahead.. he is close..

Vanilla and amber fill the air..

He moves quickly now.. turning his feet to let his steps make no sound.. hand closing on the hilt..

Soon.. he will have her..

She stops, head lifting.. chest riseing and falling.. eyes widen.. a hunter... close..

Her eyes narrow.. teeth flash in a grin..

The muscles of his legs quiver with tension... he sees her now...


DANGER! She bolts.. supple legs pound the earth.. frantic.. laughing..

Blood rushes..the hunter moves..

The infinite moment unfolds.. time slows.. the hunter leaps.. gravity has forgotten him..

The seconds strech..

The corner of her vision blurs.. he is close! RUN! RUN FASTER! The air burns..

An eternity between heartbeats...

A lion in flight.. the hunter roars! Weapon unsheathed he tackles his pray.


Pinning her with his knee he twists her arm behind her back.. the minx squeals in mock protest..

Silk rips.. she is exposed..

SMACK! smack, smack, smack... her ass burns as he leans low.. pressing her hard into the carpet.

She moans... her lips quivering..

He speaks as though his voice is the whisper of distant thunder....

"Minx.. you are about to have a vary.. vary... bad day.... and I will enjoy it immensely"

She shudders.... "yes sir"






2 days ago. Tue 22 Jan 2019 04:45:42 AM IST

But this is fucking funny.

2 days ago. Tue 22 Jan 2019 02:57:40 AM IST

2 days ago. Mon 21 Jan 2019 03:52:56 PM IST

I just want to preface this by saying I am usually fairly happy in the morning. So.. yah.

Lethargy.. yes, that sums up my morning neatly.
The dog decided it was time for me to get up 10min before my alarm was set.. not enough time to go back to sleep.
Having my breakfast tea.. allergies are high today.. blarg.
Getting dressed feels like a chore..
Whose bright idea was it to make 9am the start of the average work day.. I want to kick that guy in the jimmies.
No.. realy I dont.. mostly because it sounds like too much effort.
Now that I am well and truly awake the dog is snoring right next to me...
You think me might be a minor demon? An imp maybe? Meh.. guess he is entitled.  I did have his nuts cut off.
Birds sing happily outside my window.. fuck off bird! Way to early to be that chipper.
Tea has gone cold... and the hot water is waaaaay over there in the kitchen.. not shure if the 15 ft walk is worth it.
Yah.. just one of those mornings.
Good morning!
Rise and shine!
Let's begin our day!
Please enjoy these soothing sounds that really make you want to go back to bed...
Enjoy your day at work!

3 days ago. Sun 20 Jan 2019 04:45:52 PM IST

He stands by lamplight,  black wool pulled tight agenst the cold..

Waiting for her..

Damp wind turns cobwebs into gossamer nets, a click... watch hands glint, revealed from golden case...

She is late..

Tap tap tap... the heels betray her presence as she steps into lamps halo,

She is wearing red...

Vermillion clings to her like a lover, ruby lips stammer words of apology...

She knows... he knows...

He turns from her, boots scrape on stone.. with trepidation she follows..

Silance speaks for him...

The empty street, the oaken door, all a blur of walking dream...

Her mind quavers..

A quick turn.. a knee between her legs, lifting her, pinning her against the wall, a crushing kiss...

Muffled moan echoes in the hall...

He steps back... fingers entwined in hair.. he leads her, drags her.. into darkened room..

The smell of wax... and iron..

He pulls her up.. her eyes reflect the large  round spartan shield.. placed neatly on the table....

He speaks...

"With your shield...." her eyes widen with realization... her voice shakes.. "or on it..."

A grin touches his lips...

Delicate hands unfasten straps... vermillion reveals ivory... the rustle of silk on the floor...

Desire and fear hang heavy...

He lifts her.. placing her apon the shield.. back arched.. chill metal ridges indent her skin.. her breath is short...

From within his coat, the rope....

Arms strech.. bound to legs beneath the table.. chest heaves in anticipation...

A bead of sweat, the room is warm..

Blindfold steals her light.. silken gag to steal her voice.. clink... the sound of a belt buckle..

He smiles at his work..

Leather touches skin.. drawn carefully across her.. thigh.. belly.. chest...neck...

Her skin remembers it's touch...

Crack! Flames explode from her thigh..
Crack! Her chest shudders from the impact..

She regrets,  but his arm does not waver..

The fire spreads.. burning.. consuming...then a gentle hand.. from the knee.. upward.. closer.. closer..

Her world turns white...

Arms strain agenst the rope.. body shakes.. a sobbing cry of pleasure...

Knots undone, lay scattered...

He holds her.. wraped in woolen comfort..her head buried in his chest...

He speaks...

"I am your shield.. lay yourself apon me... and I will hold back hell in your name.."


4 days ago. Sun 20 Jan 2019 02:52:51 AM IST

4 days ago. Sat 19 Jan 2019 06:55:16 PM IST

Black leather creaks, he carefully spreads the oil.

Metal clicks softly as he cleans his tools...

Rope in a coil, whip and crop..

Thin chain, clips and cuffs..

All made ready... all placed just so,

For the moon is rising...

Candle light dances, the scent of amber..

A quiet knock, she is here..

Gentle pressure.. his hands weave patterns of moonlight as they bind and twist,

Leather tightens.. rope bites flesh.. she shudders, exquisite in her anticipation...

Silver darkens to bathe her in honey light, he raises the whip..

His hand falls, trails of fire and passion etched on skin and mind..

A cry torn from pleasure and agony escapes into the night..

And honey turns to crimson..

He takes her there.. in the place where thoughts have no meaning..

Time is lost... he bends to kiss jeweled salt from her lips..

Breath on her ear.. a whisper.. "good girl"..

And she is free.

5 days ago. Sat 19 Jan 2019 07:45:42 AM IST

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