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Pure insanity

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1 hour ago. Nov 25, 2020, 2:26 AM

I miss traveling.  I can remember being on the phone,  sitting in Denny's, working on homework and booking a flight.  Then the end of December I was having fun, walking in the frigid temperatures, freezing my water bottle.  Making a snow angel,  snow fuckers.  

There will be no traveling this winter.  So a trip down memory lane. 

Oh that was an hour after I got back.

If I wasn't there with that company and it was firmer snow I probably would have used that.

 

2 days ago. Nov 22, 2020, 8:57 AM

Drowning in a sea of deadlines 

Every which way I turn

So many I forget what they all are

So many important, technically they all are

It's to a point of wanting to run

Can I get it all done 

Or will I forget things once again 

4 days ago. Nov 21, 2020, 1:55 AM

 

No K I'm not getting the lotiin.

 

4 days ago. Nov 20, 2020, 4:33 AM

These are my 2 new toys. I can't wait to put them to use again.

1 week ago. Nov 17, 2020, 9:40 PM

It's been a 2 cup of coffee day. 

I'm off to pick up target order.

Hopefully I can find toilet paper,  not holding my breath.  

Probably go to Costco too. 

I'm not out yet but I'm in my panic limit. 

Went to Wal-Mart yesterday they had 0. 

County is back into bad category. 

Surrounded by morons. 

1 week ago. Nov 17, 2020, 7:01 AM

Not done yet. Started it in one location decided to move it. Not liking the placement of some items. Might tweak it a bit. Most of the items I have had for close to 30 years.  I like the purple lights but think I want more.  May start over completely.  I prefer my branches to be straight. I like gap between rows to allow better visibility of items. I love glass.

1 week ago. Nov 16, 2020, 2:07 AM

I have been through a few people passing in my life. Some important some not so. That is life and what happens when one is a jerk. 

This is a poem I have had around for years. Sometimes it helps. 

Hope it helps anyone going through a difficult time. 

1 week ago. Nov 15, 2020, 1:07 AM

I talk a bunch of shit to hide my real feelings.  I also blame my upbringing on my ability to disassociate. I shouldn't be able to so easily.  If you have kids hug them.  Tell them they are important,  that you care.

1 week ago. Nov 14, 2020, 4:07 PM

Dissociation

Avoidance 

Masking 

Sometimes these are not healthy coping skills. 

Sometimes they are best for safety.

That is where I'm at currently. 

I have class this morning. 

So big girl panties on and going to show those pavers who boss today. 

I'm ok. I've mostly made peace with my decision.  Where I haven't I'm doing the above. I'm justifying my choice. Which wasn't just my choice but someone else's too. I don't know why I feel the need to justify and seek others approval. FFS you don't live my life, never have never will. 

It is what it is.  It's the best decision. Alternatives would be heartbreaking. 

Off to break stereotypes.  

And missy, yes you, don't worry,  I'm ok. We will chat later. You go have a great day for both of us.

1 week ago. Nov 13, 2020, 6:47 AM

I haven't had a Christmas tree sind 2007. That's the first Christmas we had a cat. Haven't had one since. It's in my room. Still can't trust the cats. Will be making a  huge decision tomorrow.  Well decision is made,  just need to call for cost. Hopefully not to much,  I still have to fix my car. Then it's making an appointment.  That will be the difficult part. No matter how frustrating and irritating wish things could be different.  But it's time. 

Anywho.

I know cryptic,  don't ask.