I have been on a cloud since Friday morning. I got to have the best conversation in over a year,. Even better than when I went and visited. I thought I had walls. It is a beautiful sight to see someones walls come down. I never thought I would see such a thing. I thought that would be something mostly Doms would see. And people who have known me since just after he and I go together they are seeing the light in my eyes. So the plan is to go back end of May beginning of June for 3-4 weeks. It started out no don't it's to expensive to I will be staying with his best friend. They live in the same town. I know why I am not staying there and it is a legitimate reason. No hes not married. No I'm not being kept secret. I was getting ready to go out last night and send him pictures of my hair, I redone the color. And said :wish I going to see you" and he said "in time". That is a first. I can't wait to go. I have heard the saying "Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt". Well I have a opposite one "Better to open your mouth and let one know your feelings than keep it shut and allow doubt".All my doubts and insecurities have been stripped away. As long as I stay out of my head which lies to me all the time.
I am feeling a bit like I am behind the 8 ball again. I have work I need to catch up on. House work to do. There is just not ever enough time or energy. I felt great this morning even though I did not get enough sleep. Then this afternoon my drop hit. I was out when it came on, so I left because I thought I had a homework deadline tonight. After I got home I looked and the deadline is now the 1st. I am so thankful for that. This is hard enough to write let alone read 30 pages. People talk about don't pick on me for my spelling, oh fuck I am on my laptop and if something is spelled wrong it's underlined red and there have been so many spelled wrong that I just type a bunch and go back and fix it.
I had lots of fun last night. I went to a private dungeon. I like this group of people. I love hanging out with my kinky people too. Many in my community that I know are poly, There are many who play with others too, Which is fortunate for me because I don't have a play partner at this point. And when I am with HIM he is not into impact play. I like my impact, I like my sting. i did get a few bruises. Not as many as I thought I might, but also didn't want much or any because of work. I have to drive another 500 miles tomorrow. I know it wont be as long as Friday, That was a crazy 18 hour day. I think I have Tuesday off, I hope so because I have been going. Today I went to leather church and tomorrow night I plan to go to rope bottom support and discussion group.
Merriam-Webster: involving, having, or characterized by more than one open romantic relationship at a time, Urban dictionary: The state of having multiple sexually or romantically committed relationships at the same time, with the consent of all partners involved. I am not. I am not typical. I am more demisexual. Urban dictionary: Not experiencing any sexual attraction to another until a greater bond is formed. Dictionary.com: sexual orientation characterized by only experiencing sexual attraction after making a strong emotional connection with a specific person, And I am heterosexual.
Anyways, even though I am going through drop right now. I have a few people I can talk to and it helps. And I am so thankful I didn't implode my relationship. I came so close to doing it. And the next morning the most amazing beautiful conversations took place. Someone had asked me if I trusted him 100%, they thought I didn't but I did, I have for a long time. Now I have no doubts. And I couldn't be happier, well can't exactly say that I would like to be there now.