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Satin Silhouette

Illustrating a sensual silhouette across the sky
2 years ago. October 24, 2021 at 10:06 PM

I have been trying to find the words to describe what has been going on in my head lately. I have been feeling quite fragile, filled with an insatiable yearning for gentleness.

I have been single for over two years now, and I have never been in a serious, long-term relationship. For a time, I actively chose to be single because I felt that I was not in a healthy space mentally to be able to be with someone without being toxic in some way. I needed to heal, I needed to grow, and I needed to do so alone. I still value my time spent on my own, and have grown to love myself immensely. I am proud of what I have overcome, of what I have accomplished, and of who I am becoming.

An important boundary for me is that I do not have sex or take part in sexual acts with anyone that I do not trust. Trust, however, does not come easily for me. I need to feel safe and comfortable with someone so that I am willing to be vulnerable with them. This means that I do not have sex with someone I am not in a committed relationship with.

Considering these two points - my boundary and my length of singledom - I have not had sex in over two years. There are moments where I miss it, quite desperately even, but the longer I go without it, the less I seem to need it. I realized that it wasn’t the sex I was missing, but the feeling of being close to someone, of being wanted and needed. In the moment, sex offers that. Once it is over, however, I was more often than not left feeling used, abused, hollowed out and abandoned. That is not how anyone should be made to feel.

All of this time has led to quite a bit of self-reflection. It has made me analyze my past relationships - familial, platonic, romantic, sexual, professional - and to understand what it was I was missing. The conclusion I came to was this: gentleness. Few people in my life have ever treated me with a reverent kind of gentleness that made me feel precious, cherished. I have always been a sensitive individual, in so many ways, and yet no one ever treated me as something they didn’t want to break.

My sexual tastes can sometimes sway a bit rougher than some, but that is not always true. Yet, never once has someone looked at me and said they wanted to touch me softly, taste me slowly, treat me with kindness and love and care before they demanded to ravage and ruin. I’ve come to wonder why everyone who meets me and feels some kind of attraction towards me immediately desires to beat me down, tear me apart, and abuse me as they please. Sometimes innocence can just be innocence, without the potential to be corrupted. Fragile can simply be fragile, without tempting you to smash it to pieces.

So that is what I have come to desire. Gentleness. Gentleness brings with it reverence, care, consideration. It brings with it an attention and an effort few are willing to offer anymore, if they ever were to begin with.

I will continue to search for gentleness in the morning birdsong outside my window, in the warmth of a soft blanket at night, in the smile of a friend. I will no longer search for it in the arms of a stranger, the touch of a midnight lover, the empty words of a faceless name. If no one is capable or willing to be gentle with me, then I will simply be gentle with myself.

3 years ago. November 24, 2020 at 3:18 AM

The day had been torture. The sun was high in the sky from the early morning hour, and the heat was sizzling. Yet, for endless hours, you were out there working in the yard. While I prepared breakfast, you said that you had a list of chores to get done around the yard that had piled up in recent weeks, and you were determined to work through them today; so I made a an extra large, extra cold pitcher of juice for you to sip from as the heat bore down on you. 


Watching from inside the house as I went about my routine and tasks, I couldn’t help stealing longing looks at you. Your shirt had come off within minutes of being in the sun, and you were glistening with sweat. I felt like drooling for hours. 


Finally, as the afternoon sun sat heavy in the sky, you came in. Your torso was covered in sweat, dirt, and grime. Your hands were probably developing even more rough calluses. Your shirt was a damp mess of a rag, and so you just threw it in the hamper in the laundry room before stalking into the kitchen for something to drink. As you gulped, I leaned against the counter, just watching. I could stare at you for hours. Once you polished off the last drop, I came to you, pulling the glass from your fingers. I set it in the sink, and pulled you along. 


“You worked so hard today, Daddy. Now, let me take care of you.” A sweet, coy smile spread across my features, and I led you to our bathroom. We had renovated much of our home to suit our needs. Our master bathroom is my favorite room, it feels like paradise. The shower is a thing of beauty. It is closed in on two sides by glass, walls covered in gray stone. It has six nozzles that fall from the ceiling like holy rain, all connected to a panel in the wall with a touch screen control. The temperature is set to exact, lights dimmed, color splashing across the tile. This is where I lead you. 


I turn on the water on three of the nozzles, hot but not scorching, and begin to peel you out of the remainder of your clothes. My hands move reverently over your skin, mapping every inch as though it was the first and last time I would ever get to. I beckon you into the shower, and you sigh as the warm water hits you. I make swift work of my clothes before plastering my naked body to your back. You begin to turn around, but I stop you. 


“Let me see you,” you say, a rough gravel tone to your voice from lack of use all day. Never able to ignore a request from my Wolf, I let you turn around. My whole body lights up when your eyes take my in, looking your fill. I no longer cower, attempting to cover my figure from your gaze as I once did; I am satisfied that I am yours, and that you love me as I am. I reach out to grab the sponge and body wash, spilling it over to get it soapy before reaching out to place it on your chest. Meeting your eyes, we stare into each other’s gaze as I begin to wash the grime off of your body. Each swipe of the sponge lulls me deeper into you, your presence, your orbit. I am stuck in your gravity, and I never want to leave. 


Moving down your chest and stomach, I stop at the place where your stomach meets your thigh, slithering behind you to wash your back. Once the dirt is gone and the water dripping off of you is clean, I put the sponge down and wrap my arms around you from behind. I place gentle kisses across your shoulders, breathing you in. You turn around and cup my face pulling me closer before finally, finally, finally sealing your lips with mine. I can’t help the whimper that falls from my lips into yours. Your hands rake fire across my skin, burning me up with every sweep down my waist, over my ass, up my neck. I can feel you everywhere. Well, almost everywhere. 


“Please Alpha,” I pull away, keening, “I need you. Needed you all day, missed you.” Once the words begin spilling, I can’t get them to stop. “I watched you, and I couldn’t wait for you to be done. Waiting was like torture. Please Daddy, Alpha, I’ve waited as long as I can. I can’t anymore. Need you, need you, please.” You shush me gently, running your fingers through my hair before slipping your thumb between my lips. I instinctually suck on it, quieting the tirade I had fallen into. 


“You don’t have to wait anymore, pet. You’ve been such a good girl,” you reassure me, and every ounce of tension I didn’t even know I had bled out of my body. I sag into your arms, trusting you, mind, body, and soul. “Turn around for me, hands on the wall.”


I scramble to obey, nearly slipping in my hast had you not steadied me. I plaster my hands to the wall, spreading my legs and arching my back. I close my eyes, breathing heavily. You rake your fingernails down my back, leaving angry red lines in my delicate skin. You settle your hands on my waist. You are a patient man, but the day has worn you through, and without waiting a second more, you slide inside of me in one slow, smooth glide. I gasp in a breath at the sudden feeling of being so utterly full, whimpering. 


“Finally,” I can’t help but say, the words falling from my lips in a whisper, a solemn confession I don’t want forgiveness for. Somehow, something so sinful still manages to feel like my salvation. Your strokes are slow at first, savoring the smooth rub of my pussy over your cock, like liquid fire in your veins. Too soon, and not soon enough, I can’t help but beg. “Please faster, I need you to fuck me Daddy. I need you to remind me who I belong to.”


If I wasn’t listening for it, I would have missed the feral growl that you let out, grip turning bruising on my waist. Before I can draw in another breath, you ram inside of me strong enough to send me crashing into the wall. I wail, body sparking with unbearable pleasure. You set a brutal pace, having me scrabbling just to hang on as I take, and take, and take all you give me. 


“You need me to remind you, huh? You’ve forgotten who you belong to? That you’re mine? No!” You grab my hair, yanking my head back as I scream out. “You don’t get to forget! Every minute of every day, you belong to me. Always!” You pound into me at an unbearable pace, forcing me to take every inch deep inside of me until all I can feel is the throbbing in the bottom of my stomach and the tears trailing down my face. “You’re mine when you’re hanging off my cock, split open like the whore you are, and you are mine when I am working, leaving you to your chores. And every second in between, you are MINE!!” I scream out, body convulsing under your hold as I fall apart. My knees give out, and I would have crashed to the floor had you ot caught me. My legs are shaking as you pull me in close, little whines slipping out of my mouth as shivers run through my body. One hand comes up to pet over my head, shushing me as I come down. “That’s right, that’s my good girl. Only Daddy can make you come like that, isn’t that right? How could I ever think you would forget that. You’re always mine, aren’t you princess? That’s right. And you’re going to let your Alpha fuck you until he is done and come inside of you so that everyone, human, animal, predator, prey knows exactly who owns you.” Still unable to speak, I can’t help but weakly nod my head, shakily getting my legs back underneath me and assuming the position once more. My body is still weak as a newborn fawn, but I take a deep breath and brace myself best as I can. Finally standing as steady as I am able, I turn to look at you wantonly. 


“Do your worst, Daddy. I’m yours.”


With that, you are off. You grunt and groan, animalistic sounds falling from your lips as you take your pleasure from my body. I relish the ache between my legs, knowing my body will be a map of bruises, scratches, and bites at the end of this. As you continue to rut inside of me ferociously, I begin to feel the little sparks of heat coiling in my belly again, and I moan desperately. And then I begin to talk. 


“Yes, fuck me Alpha. I need you, so deep inside of me, filling me up. No one can touch me like you do, fuck me as hard and deep as you can. You’ve ruined me Daddy, ruined me for anyone else. Only you could ever satisfy me now. I’ll always need my Alpha, always. Wreck me Daddy, I need you to destroy this pussy. My pussy is yours, come on Daddy, fuck your pussy. Right there, yes, yes, yes,” I croak out, voice a rattled mess from screaming, yet the words come easy. I can feel your thrusts coming in shorter bursts, less finesse and more of a race to the finish line. My legs begin to shake again as the rough treatment brings me close to coming again, but I hold it. I focus on holding back, clamping my pussy over your cock, and you roar out your finish. You thrust inside of me as deep as you can go, grinding your cock inside of me as you fill me full of your hot cum. I let go, shaking apart on your cock, thick seed only serving to make me feel better. 


I sink into that place inside my head that feels like floating, where only pleasure and serenity exist. I distantly hear you shutting the water off, feel you wrap me in a towel and lift me off the ground. Only once you are settling me down onto the bed, naked body covered by yours, do I begin to come to. 


“Well, how about that Daddy,” I whisper, “you’ve fucked me stupid.” I giggle to myself, heaving in heavy breaths as my body still struggles to recover. Your arms tighten around me as you let out a chuckle. 


“It is my job, pup. It’s what my baby girl deserves after all. That big brain of yours needs a break sometimes.” I can’t help but smile at that, tilting my head up for you to kiss me. You don’t disappoint. You never do. I lazily drink in the feeling of your lips, the taste of your tongue, the sound of your breath. I’ve never felt more complete. Being wrapped up in you has never felt more like a benediction.


“Let’s just lay here. I’ll make dinner later. I missed you today.” You hum, considering for a moment, and I worry you will deny me. Then you pull me ever closer, lips resting on my forehead as you breathe me in. 


“That sounds perfect, angel. Let’s do that.”

3 years ago. September 1, 2020 at 6:17 AM

I’m back! Did you miss me? Goodness, it has been a stressful week. I fell ill last week, and had to spend several days in bed. It wasn’t covid, thank goodness, but I still felt awful. Then, as I was recovering, my laptop started to have a whole assortment of issues that were such a headache to resolve. Finally, today started the first day of classes for the fall semester. Everything is being taught remotely, so those tech issues were priority number one. 


Now, everything is fixed, I’m healthy and feeling well again, and I am able to get back to taking care of the house. 


This morning, I woke up earlier than normal now that my classes started. I woke up, opened the window, tidied up a bit, and went right in the shower. I took a bit extra time letting the hot water run over my body and settle a bit of the lingering stress I was feeling over school starting up again. Once I was clean and dressed, I went down to the kitchen for breakfast. My father decided to be so sweet today and got me breakfast from a local diner so that I wouldn’t have to cook, and we ate together. Once I was done, I cleaned up the kitchen, got some things prepared for dinner in the evening, and put some laundry on. My first class doesn’t begin until 11:30am, which is the earliest of my classes this term, so I am going to be taking full advantage of my mornings. 


While the laundry was running, I went upstairs. I rearranged my room in a fit of anxiety over the weekend when preparing for classes, so it was still neat, but I went through a few little bits and bobs that needed to be put away. I set up my desk with my laptop and books for class so that all I would need to do was sit down and start up the video call. 


I got through two loads of laundry before I had to sit down for class, and then I was on call working for the next 4 ½ hours. Once my academic classes were finished, I pulled out my homework for the evening. One of my classes meets four times a week, so it’s a bit more rigorous than the others, which only meet twice. So I did a few assigned readings, submitted a short writing assignment, and completed a brief quiz before finishing up my schoolwork for the day and putting all of my materials away for tomorrow. 


By that point, it was time to cook dinner. I made a simple dinner with chicken cutlets and fried zucchini slices with some asparagus on the side. It was quick, easy, and could be prepared for beforehand, so it was perfect for today. My family sat down for a casual meal, a bit more haphazard than I usually set, but still cozy nonetheless. My mother is working on a project that takes up half of the kitchen table right now, and my sister wasn’t even home, so I decided to forgo the normal table setting for the evening. 


Once dinner was finished, I cleaned up the dishes and ran the dishwasher, wiping everything down. My mother had a nasty slip down the stairs yesterday, so I went and helped her while she was laying down after finishing work for the day. I brought her ice, Advil, and a little ice cream we had in the freezer as a pick-me-up. 


At this point, it was nearing 7pm, which is the time for my biweekly yoga class through my college. It is geared towards stress relief, so it heavily relies on breathing exercises and restorative poses, and is a great way to finish off an evening. It was relaxing, and I felt much more grounded within my body. It is only twice a week, so it is a good “easy day” in terms of exercise. 


Finally, I settled in for the night. I washed up, answered some school emails, and got into my pajamas. I let myself relax a little bit, which for me amounted to a bit of online shopping for autumn decor for the house and some clothing from my school’s shop, as well as a bit of planning for the week. My classes are shortened in time and split into two terms for the semester, which amounts to a more demanding pace and more work crammed into the time, so I need to stay on top of it all. I also have been looking into some sort of online massage therapy class. I want to be able to please my Daddies with every part of my body, in every way that I can, so it’s just another skill I hope to learn. I have to find something that fits into my schedule and will be efficient, but I’m not in too much of a rush. 


Now, I am in bed about to go to sleep and start all over again tomorrow! Hopefully there won’t be any more bumps in the road for a little while, at least until I grow more accustomed to some of these daily practices and am able to plan for them better, but life has a way of popping up whenever it pleases. 


Are you glad to see me back making these posts? What do you think of my journey so far? Thoughts, comments, questions are all welcome!! 

3 years ago. September 1, 2020 at 5:04 AM

I’m back! Did you miss me? Goodness, it has been a stressful week. I fell ill last week, and had to spend several days in bed. It wasn’t covid, thank goodness, but I still felt awful. Then, as I was recovering, my laptop started to have a whole assortment of issues that were such a headache to resolve. Finally, today started the first day of classes for the fall semester. Everything is being taught remotely, so those tech issues were priority number one. 


Now, everything is fixed, I’m healthy and feeling well again, and I am able to get back to taking care of the house. 


This morning, I woke up earlier than normal now that my classes started. I woke up, opened the window, tidied up a bit, and went right in the shower. I took a bit extra time letting the hot water run over my body and settle a bit of the lingering stress I was feeling over school starting up again. Once I was clean and dressed, I went down to the kitchen for breakfast. My father decided to be so sweet today and got me breakfast from a local diner so that I wouldn’t have to cook, and we ate together. Once I was done, I cleaned up the kitchen, got some things prepared for dinner in the evening, and put some laundry on. My first class doesn’t begin until 11:30am, which is the earliest of my classes this term, so I am going to be taking full advantage of my mornings. 


While the laundry was running, I went upstairs. I rearranged my room in a fit of anxiety over the weekend when preparing for classes, so it was still neat, but I went through a few little bits and bobs that needed to be put away. I set up my desk with my laptop and books for class so that all I would need to do was sit down and start up the video call. 


I got through two loads of laundry before I had to sit down for class, and then I was on call working for the next 4 ½ hours. Once my academic classes were finished, I pulled out my homework for the evening. One of my classes meets four times a week, so it’s a bit more rigorous than the others, which only meet twice. So I did a few assigned readings, submitted a short writing assignment, and completed a brief quiz before finishing up my schoolwork for the day and putting all of my materials away for tomorrow. 


By that point, it was time to cook dinner. I made a simple dinner with chicken cutlets and fried zucchini slices with some asparagus on the side. It was quick, easy, and could be prepared for beforehand, so it was perfect for today. My family sat down for a casual meal, a bit more haphazard than I usually set, but still cozy nonetheless. My mother is working on a project that takes up half of the kitchen table right now, and my sister wasn’t even home, so I decided to forgo the normal table setting for the evening. 


Once dinner was finished, I cleaned up the dishes and ran the dishwasher, wiping everything down. My mother had a nasty slip down the stairs yesterday, so I went and helped her while she was laying down after finishing work for the day. I brought her ice, Advil, and a little ice cream we had in the freezer as a pick-me-up. 


At this point, it was nearing 7pm, which is the time for my biweekly yoga class through my college. It is geared towards stress relief, so it heavily relies on breathing exercises and restorative poses, and is a great way to finish off an evening. It was relaxing, and I felt much more grounded within my body. It is only twice a week, so it is a good “easy day” in terms of exercise. 


Finally, I settled in for the night. I washed up, answered some school emails, and got into my pajamas. I let myself relax a little bit, which for me amounted to a bit of online shopping for autumn decor for the house and some clothing from my school’s shop, as well as a bit of planning for the week. My classes are shortened in time and split into two terms for the semester, which amounts to a more demanding pace and more work crammed into the time, so I need to stay on top of it all. I also have been looking into some sort of online massage therapy class. I want to be able to please my Daddies with every part of my body, in every way that I can, so it’s just another skill I hope to learn. I have to find something that fits into my schedule and will be efficient, but I’m not in too much of a rush. 


Now, I am in bed about to go to sleep and start all over again tomorrow! Hopefully there won’t be any more bumps in the road for a little while, at least until I grow more accustomed to some of these daily practices and am able to plan for them better, but life has a way of popping up whenever it pleases. 


Are you glad to see me back making these posts? What do you think of my journey so far? Thoughts, comments, questions are all welcome!! 

3 years ago. August 22, 2020 at 5:06 AM

It's finally the weekend!!! Not that it actually holds too much weight during this pandemic, but we are all trained to think of Friday as the best day of the week.

I did my usual morning routine and when I made breakfast, I decided to use butter as the base instead of just using bit of cooking spray to grease the pan. I didn't add any extras to the eggs themselves apart from my regular salt, pepper, garlic seasoning. They were good! I would say that I liked them more than the first batch, but less than the second. Maybe I should try other types of eggs... a debate for another day!

I went grocery shopping today and got everything I needed for the weekend (except for fruits and veggies since I get those at the farmer's market every Sunday). I ran a few other small errands while I was out and then came home to put everything away. I cooked quite a big meal this evening, as Friday's are always a bit more indulgent with my family, so I started preparing everything early in the afternoon.

I baked a fresh loaf of homemade French Artisan bread, which I then used later to make homemade garlic bread. I cooked Spinach Timbales (a fancier, yummier way of getting some greens in)! And I made some Penn with Creamy Vodka sauce. Overall, it was a delicious and filling meal. OH! I forgot the best part! As a delicious treat, I made some homemade semi-sweet chocolate mousse with fresh berries for dessert! My mother and I both adore mousse as a sweet treat, so it was particularly exciting for us.

Overall, I loved being able to cook for my family. Prior to this week, I normally was tasked with only cooking one meal a week for my family. Now, however, I've taken on an additional two days to make my grand total three. I'm hoping to work my way up over time, but I know I'm not the only person who likes to cook in the house. I'm also trying to have at least one meal be vegetarian/vegan each week, as my whole family wants to branch out into some alternative meals every now and then. I don't know that any of us will completely take the plunge into an alternative food lifestyle, but it certainly is a welcome bit of experimentation.

Lastly, I made some homemade Orange-aid. It's something my grandmother used to always make when I was growing up, and it is basically a sweetened orange juice diluted with a bit of water. It tastes like candy!!! My parents and I sat out on the back porch as the sun went down and all had a glass. It was such a lovely way to finish out the week.

Much love! <3

3 years ago. August 21, 2020 at 5:07 AM

Another day, another diary! Today was a bit slow as I was feeling under the weather. I still managed to get quite a bit done, but there certainly wasn't the same pep in my step throughout.

For breakfast this morning, I tried a different tip for the scrambled eggs: a teaspoon of sour cream. I am not entirely sure of the origin to this addition, but I learned it from a Norwegian program. I have to say the eggs came out quite delicious! Dare I say I enjoyed them even more than the batch with cream.

As I was feeling somewhat ill today, I decided to focus inward. Being a housewife is more than just cooking and cleaning. It is also about upkeep of the self. So I took a long, hot shower and had a bit more self-care than I do on a day-to-day basis. I did a body scrub, hair mask, aroma steam, face mask, etc. I went for a walk, did some stretched, and did a bit more extended practice on some poses. Overall, I wanted to treat my body extra well today.

I also finalized the grocery list and meal planning for the weekend. I have a few recipes I am excited to try out with my family, and if they turn out as delicious as I am anticipating, I am sure they will become a part of my permanent repertoire!!

Lastly, I did a bit of work regarding planning for the future. Right now, I am a college student who lives with her family. I am not married, and I don't have a house of my own...yet. BUT I can still plan for the day that I am and I do. My family has moved quite a bit over the last decade or so, as well as the transient nature of being in college, and I've found that I've accumulated too much "stuff" for the space I am in right now. I have a small bedroom that is my own, and everywhere else in the house is a shared space. So, I have been slowly going through all of my belongings, and anything that is nice to keep for a home but does not have a space right now gets packed up in a box for when I eventually move out of my family's home and into my own. I ended up filling a whole medium sized box and packed it away in the attic, as well as setting aside a garbage bag of items to be donated.

Despite not feeling well, I was still able to be productive. Throughout the whole day, I kept thinking about how one day I will be a housewife "for real" and even when I feel down or ill, the home will be my responsibility. It got me thinking... I need to be more organized and future-oriented so that on days when I don't have as much energy in the tank as others, I am still able to fulfill all of the necessary duties. Also, for days when I am particularly ill to the point where I am bedridden (unfortunate, but it does happen throughout life), I need to have systems in place so that my partner(s) and potential family are still taken care of. That is a goal for tomorrow, to spend time brainstorming ways to be better prepared for obstacles in the road.

So what do you think? How am I doing on my journey thus far? Any tips, recommendations, advice, thoughts, opinions, etc? Leave me some comments! Also, if you are a housewife (househusband, housespouse, etc.) OR you are the partner of a housewife (househusband, housespouse, etc.) OR you dream of being/being with a housewife (househusband, housespouse, etc.), please feel free to reach out to me to chat and get to know one another!

Much love! <3

3 years ago. August 20, 2020 at 4:09 AM

Today was yet another lovely day! I was up early and decided to strip my bed and wash my sheets today. I like to do this once a week to keep them clean and fresh! Of course, if I have a bit too much fun and make a mess then I do it more often as needed 😉 Once I aired out my room and headed downstairs, I put all of my sheets and pillowcases in the wash before going about making breakfast.

I have been wanting to practice my scrambled eggs, a classic breakfast staple. There are so many different little tips and tricks on how to make them more this way or that, so I am going to experiment a bit over the next few days. Today, I tried out adding a little bit of light cream to my eggs before mixing them and then slowly cooking them over low heat. They were super creamy and soft! I tend to like my eggs a little runny, so they were delicious. Once I cleaned up, I did general tidying like I usually do and then I set about taking inventory of the kitchen.

Tomorrow is grocery day, so i need to compile a list of what we need. This means I need to meal plan for the weekend. I don't cook dinner every day, but have been slowly taking on more evenings. Right now, I cook 3-4 nights a week. So, I wrote out my grocery list with a few recipes in mind.

Once that is done, I moved my sheets over to the dryer and went upstairs to get washed and dressed for the day. There was a thunderstorm that rolled through in the late morning that really packed a punch, so I went about setting out some candles just in case we lost power (we did, but only for about an hour). Once my sheets were done, I brought them upstairs and remade my bed.

At this point, I needed to get some work done so I focused on that for a couple of hours. Then, I went downstairs to do some baking. I decided to bake some bread. It takes about 2/2.5 hours to cook a simple French Artisan loaf, so I went with that. It always comes out super yummy! My dad likes to have some toast in the morning and I figured I could use some to make my sister a sandwich for lunch tomorrow since she has work during the day as a lifeguard. As I baked, during the lulls in the process (proofing, rising, and baking), I made a few phone calls, answered a few emails, and went over my to-do list to see what priorities for the day I had left. Once the bread was finished baking, I set it out to cool and cleared up any mess so that the kitchen would be clean for dinner. My sister really wanted sushi this evening (and homemade sushi is not yet in my repertoire) so we ordered from a local Japanese restaurant.

Finally this evening, I did some reading (the women in my family are all in a book club together so I am reading this months book, The Water Dancer). I let myself relax for a short while before getting washed up for bed and now here I am!!

Another lovely, and productive day! <3

3 years ago. August 19, 2020 at 2:26 AM

We are succinctly five months into this pandemic, and things are as slow and dire as ever. As a result, I find that I have far too much spare time on my hands. I am a full-time college student, yet my classes are being reduced and formatted remotely. This has left me with an abundance of time to sit and ponder over my life, my wants, my desires... I've come to quite a few conclusions. One of the more prominent realizations is just how much I adore the concept of the 1950s housewife, and the general housewife lifestyle and aesthetic.

I have very progressive beliefs, and would never begrudge someone who has absolutely no interest in being a housewife (or husband or spouse!). I hope to be able to create and have somewhat of a profession of my own, even with these dreams of being a housewife as well. I do, however, feel very strongly that personally, individually, I enjoy the concept for myself. I love to cook, bake, clean, tend house, etc. I like being submissive to my partner, doing what I can every day to keep them happy and loved and cared for. I like having a purpose that is set and designed for by my partner, able to follow through on tasks in order to feel a sense of accomplishment, purpose, pride.

So what does all of this mean? Well, this desire has allowed me to find something to do with all of my extra time. I want to learn to be a better submissive, a better partner, a better housewife. So, I am going to dedicate each and every day, all of my spare time, to building the necessary skills.

Today is Day 1. Tuesday, August 18, 2020 is the official start to my journey towards learning these things. Here is what I did today:

CLEANLINESS

Taking care of a home takes a lot of hard work and diligence. My current circumstances are not exactly comparable, as I live with my parents and my sister for the time being. Most of my focus is on my spaces - bedroom, bathroom, etc. - and my messes - dishes, laundry, etc. - while lending a hand elsewhere when I can.
In the morning, I start my day by drawing down my comforter to let my bed air out. It kept me snuggled up and warm all night long, and needs some time to refresh before being tucked back in tight. Then, I pull back my blinds and open my windows. It is always so rejuvenating to invite fresh morning air into my space first thing. It always smells like fresh, early-morning dew. I have an essential oil mister in my room, as my mother gets irritated by the smell of candles or incense, so I will add a few drops of whatever scent feels best for the day and turning it on (today, I used a blend of lavender and vanilla for a sweet, floral note).

After, I grab a basket for general tidying. Any trash laying around, leftover glasses/dishes, dirty clothes, items out of place, etc. are gathered and brought down to the kitchen to be put away or disposed of. I haven't started learning breakfast recipes yet, so I had a glass of cold water and a bowl of cereal with some fruit for breakfast. Delicious and nutritious! I clean up any dishes around, put away all ingredients, and do a quick wipe-down of the countertops. Once I am done, I will do a quick sweep around the general living areas to see if anyone left a mess anywhere, fluff up the pillows, etc. I throw a load of laundry into the washer to get started and take out the trash.

Now that the initial tidying has been done, I take inventory for the day. I go through the fridge and take note of anything we need. I gauge how much laundry needs to be done. I unload the dishwasher if necessary. I water the plants. Once this is done, usually the first load of laundry is ready to be moved over to the dryer, so I go about doing this. Once the first load is tumbling away, and a new load put on the wash, I head back upstairs.

First thing, I make my bed. The sheets have had an adequate amount of time to air out and it always pulls a space together once the bed is made. I close the window and adjust the temperature of the house according to the weather. My mother, sister, and I all tend to get cold rather easily, so I try to keep the thermostat set a bit warmer. The fans in various rooms can be adjusted individually depending on who is there.

Once the bedroom is tidy, I go about washing up for the day. While we are in quarantine, I don't get fully dolled-up for the day, but still like to stay relatively put together. This is when I shower, wash my face, brush my teeth, etc. I will blow out my hair and style it simply (I plan to learn some hairstyles that involve a bit more technique down the line). Once I am clean, I will get dressed. Today, I put on a comfortable pair of pants and a fitted t-shirt. Then, I quickly wiped down the sink and counter in the bathroom, put my wet towel in the laundry bin, and put on my various accessories (earrings, necklace, etc.).

Finally, I will head back downstairs to finish the laundry for the morning. I move the second load into the dryer, fold what is already clean, and put it away in the appropriate bedroom depending on whose clothes they are. If they are mine, they go away into their appropriate drawer/hanger (of course!).

Now that all of the general cleaning is done for the morning, I have some time. First things first, I plan out dinner for the evening. I found an old Betty Crocker cookbook in our pantry, and have decided to go through quite a few of the recipes as a start while I teach myself to cook hearty meals for my family. Today, I decided on the Chicken Paprikash with a side of steamed broccoli and white rice. It was deemed a success by everyone! Once dinner is decided, I make sure I have all necessary ingredients (luckily I did!) and then I have the afternoon to myself. I did some work, answered some emails, prepared some things for the start of my semester, etc.

Once early evening rolls around, I start cooking dinner. The recipe I chose took about 1 1/2 hours to prepare, including several intervals where I simply allow the food to simmer. During these periods, I work on setting the dinner table. We had gotten a lovely bouquet of sunflowers at the farmer's market a few days prior, which made a lovely centerpiece. Overall, dinner was a wonderful affair. 

After everyone has finished eating, I pack up any leftovers and clear the dishes. I generally stay tidy while cooking, cleaning as I go along, so it wasn't too daunting of a job. Finally, everything is cleared and clean, and here I am! I will do a bit of tidying around the house before bed, get washed up, prepare for the morning, and then it is time for Day 2!!

What do you think of my starting routine? What did you like? What did you dislike? Any suggestions? How can I tweak it to improve? Are there any recipes, routines, or skills you would like to see me incorporate as I continue to learn and grow? Please share your thoughts and opinions! And, if you are someone who wants to be (or are currently) a housewife (or husband, or spouse) in a similar capacity as I have described, please share your experience or send me a message to chat.

Stay safe everyone! Much love! <3

4 years ago. March 29, 2020 at 5:26 AM

It’s a Saturday morning, and the sun has just started to filter past the curtains. The open window lets a slight breeze drift in, making goosebumps break out across my skin. Sprawled out on my stomach, I can feel your arm across my back. Even in the depths of sleep, you can’t let me go. And even in the depths of sleep, I don’t want you to.  The past week was long, full of meetings and errands and tasks built up over time coming to a head. We are both grateful for the weekend, where we can put down our outside responsibilities and get lost in each other. 


I’m conscious, but just barely so. I want to bask in the contentedness I am feeling, hold on to the heavy warmth of sleep. I feel you begin to stir, your arm tightening around my waist. You pull me in. I end up on my side, back to your chest, naked bodies touching from head to toe. You tuck your head into the hollow of my throat.


“Good morning babygirl,” you whisper, voice rough from sleep. Your breath ghosts across my sensitive skin, and I tilt my head to bare my throat to you. 


“Good morning Daddy.” I can’t help but arch back into your body, needing more of you, always. Your hand creeps upwards, gently tracing a swirling pattern up my stomach and around my breasts until one hand grabs hold, kneading them slowly. I whimper. 


“Mm, I’ve missed this. Waking up with you in my arms, at my mercy.” Your hand lets go of my breast and wraps around my throat. I gasp, eyes shut and air coming in short, erratic puffs. “I want you, right here, right now. You’re mine.”


“Yes, Daddy, yours. All yours.” The words tumble from my lips, a promise and a prayer. I hook on of my legs over yours, body pushing back into yours. Your other arm, tucked beneath me, moves lower until I feel your long, rough fingers running along my folds. 


“Oh look at you, princess. You’re dripping already. Eager are we?” You chuckle lowly, somehow giving me a sense of awe and warning. You line up behind me, not having much patience so soon after waking up, not with me squirming prettily in your arms. “So wet, I could just,” you push inside of me, “slip right in.” I moan out, mouth dropping open as I am suddenly full. You grind your hips slowly into me, your cock rubbing mind-numbingly against my inner walls. One of my hands grabs onto yours, still wrapped around my throat, and the other reaches out to hold onto the sheets. You slowly pull back, only to drive in harder again, and again, and again. It is a slow, brutal rhythm that leaves me breathless. 


“So good Daddy, you feel so good inside me. Hold me, please, more.” I can’t help but beg beneath you. Sparks of heat are pooling in my belly, drags of your cock light me up from the inside. I feel two of your fingers lift and tap my lower lip. I eagerly suck them in, laving at them with my tongue, moaning at the taste of your skin. 


“That’s it babygirl. You need something in that pretty little mouth of yours, don’t you? Daddy will give you what you need.” You begin to drive into me harder, continuing with slow drags followed by a barbaric snap of your hips every time to fill me up again. I wail around your fingers. 


“Please, Daddy, I’m gonna come. Please can I come for you, you feel so good.” I beg and I beg, every fiber of my being begging in its own way. My fingers, holding on tightly to anything they can reach. My body, curling into yours, baring itself to your every whim. My mouth, begging with words and with every swipe of my tongue across your skin. “Yes, yes, Daddy, right there. Keep fucking me like that, please. Oh god, please let me come!”


“It’s okay, angel, just let go. You can come if you need to. Daddy’s got you.” Your voice soothes something inside of my chest I didn’t know was aching, and yet it lights the rest of me on fire. I convulse in your arms, writhing as the knot in the pit of my belly snaps. White sparks explode behind my eyes. 


“Daddy!!” I call out for you, feeling how your rhythm never falters, riding out my pleasure, enhancing it. Slowly, agonizingly, I come down and begin to breathe again. I still feel you moving inside of me, and little sparks of pleasure sing through me still. I clench my body around you, moving my hips back to meet yours, thrust for thrust. “Come on Daddy, come inside of me. Fill me up with your cum. Breed me, make me yours.” I feel the rapid clenching in your stomach, feel the pulsing of your cock inside of me.


“Yeah baby, I’ll give it to you. I’ll fill you up with Daddy’s cum and leave you a naughty little mess.” You whisper in my ear just as I feel your cum begin to fill me up, hot liquid spilling inside of me. We both groan out. 


As we both catch our breaths, I turn over in your arms to face you. Leaning in close, I kiss you deeply, a gentle press of the lips that says I love you, I need you, I’m yours. 


“Good morning Daddy,” I breathe out in the space between our lips. You smile.


“Good morning, my love. And it is a wonderful morning.”


“Yeah Daddy. With you, it always is.”

 

4 years ago. March 13, 2020 at 2:08 AM

Recently, I had the amazing opportunity to model for an aspiring photographer studying at MIT. They contacted me and asked to have me model in a boudoir shoot for a project on the concept of beauty and how one's perception of themselves translates through the lense. It was a wonderful and challenging experience. I have always had a complicated relationship with my own sense of self-confidence, and it was only amplified during this process. I was lucky to have such a kind, encouraging, and understanding photographer willing to guide me through this new, uncharted territory. 

 

While I don't see myself diving into an illustrious modeling career any time soon, I certainly am grateful for the experience. Plus, the photos came out great! Here, check out a handful of my favorites:

 

 

And my absolute favorite...