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Minxy Thoughts Growth

Picture says a 1000 words and quotes will hit the mind and soul... Music will sooth a savage soul or will excite...
Never regret anything which has happened in your life. There is a reason it did. You can't change it, undo it or even forget it. So take each thing and use it as a lesson learned and move on. You may shed a few tears that's OK. Smile not because you made it but smile in spit of all the mess. Be proud you made it. Do a happy dance and remember you are the one who did this. Much peace and love my family.
6 hours ago. Thu 20 Jun 2019 07:31:42 AM IDT

 

The greatest feeling of giving....

 

To be guided and cared for....

What a submissive is....

To silence one is a shame...

When all you want...

14 hours ago. Thu 20 Jun 2019 12:03:52 AM IDT

I found something in my journal from this time last year. It was about the lifestyle and I actually laughed at myself. To see how naive I was and where I am now. Oh gosh I'm so embarrassed. I'd shared but can only imagine what you all would think.

There is one part I thought was was pretty good for an unknowing sub. My question and I answered. Would a good sub be? Willing to try new things without hesitation, wanting to express self through play, u confrontational, wanting to please and serve, willingness to be responsible for actions and full of adventure.

But today isn't about that. I've been thinking about my journey. Many people block each other for unknown reasons. Which I hate it but I believe there should be valid reasons. I'm sure I'll get responses about this. If you do please be nice. I've been blocked and at times I wonder why. But I shouldn't worry as it is what it is.

In ways this is where I'm going with this. First thank you all for stopping by and reading my blogs. Hitting the love or leaving comments. I really appreciate it. Second if by any means I've offended any Dom, sub or Dom's sub with my words. I'm truly sorry. I try to treat each person the way I want to be treated. I try not hurt or be disrespectful of what is your life or dynamic. I don't judge as I don't want to be judged. I've had some bad times here and I share my experiences. I've done the bad ones only in hopes others won't have to bare the same marks as me. It may sound crazy I'll take it but I'm not sure for how long until I'll open. I've said I'm going to step back and I've done so slowly. In all honesty I can't cut myself off from here. To many people I consider as friend.

Again I'm sorry if I've offended any one. Many blessings, goodness and happiness to you all.

22 hours ago. Wed 19 Jun 2019 04:24:50 PM IDT

In my stepping back some I started thinking about me and patience. I always I don't have it.

Well as I was going through my thoughts I really was thinking about this a lot yesterday. 

I've stayed when I wanted to run. I keep standing still when I kept getting no's. Going back despite the no. I continued to work on a marriage doomed. I don't give up on friends in any situation, unless it is clear there is nothing. I have tried and tried to leave here but I can't, I stay. 

I started thinking yes I want it in a hurry yet I stay. So my thinking of that unfriendly word we all dislike. 

Patience is when you are a fighter/warrior, survived the fights of all you do, it's when you fall no matter how hard and you get back up, it's when no matter the answer or the words you keep on, and it's when you say yes I'm tired and no hope but you continue on. It's when you get up every morning and say GOOD MORNING WORLD IM STILL HERE AND IM STAYING UNTIL I GET WHAT I NEED AND DESERVE.

 

1 day ago. Wed 19 Jun 2019 02:58:12 AM IDT

Wrote this a couple of years ago.

 

Have I Loved To Hard


I have loved much

I have loved hard

I have loved where its not been kind

So I will shelter my love from others, so I will not be hurt

Yet I will show I care but keep my love at bay.


I won’t share the love with another because I get hurt

I will say I love you but what is the meaning of love


To love is to trust and I can do neither because the trust I gavewr wasn't returned with

No love or trust

When you love hard you fall harder

When you trust freely a little piece of you dies when it's misused


Trust and love go hand in hand

Without one you don’t have the other

When the trust is gone what do you have

You have no love and no trust

You have nothing


When one tells you that you have  trust issues

You laugh

You say

Shouldn't I when I've been given nothing in return

I've been used by posser, fakes wanna bes, adulterers, liars, and thieves

Trust issues really I wonder why?


Trust is hard to gain and keep

You must work at it constantly

Oh to trust again

Oh to love again

To live and feel the joy

Of a trust that fuels your soul

Of a love which clogs your pores

The essence to make you fly

Without wings

To bask in the glory and beauty.

1 day ago. Tue 18 Jun 2019 05:27:30 PM IDT

2 days ago. Tue 18 Jun 2019 02:34:21 AM IDT

I understand that as a sub you are to be available for your Dom. But when a Dom says you are at my convenience always. When I have or find the time to be with you. That's a hard pill to swallow. Or it's days to talk but you see him on. It's truly a red flag now. Where before I just thought okay cool he is like subs looking and talking. In our conversations it's like subject avoiding. I just can't be a convenient sub or one to be ignored. It's rude if you don't have the time don't take on the responsibility. Am I wrong, I don't think so. I hope all you who are looking like myself realize you don't deserve this.

 

 

2 days ago. Mon 17 Jun 2019 08:07:46 PM IDT

Sometimes you have to look at who you are. Except and move on. I guess if others can't except me for me they can move on as well. It's truly their loss.

Say what you have to but don't be rude.

I'd rather be a free spirit than some one not with diversity or flexibility.

As age comes to all we change. Life does that to us all.

The grass always seems so much greener on the other side of the fence. But it really isn't we all have life situations.

Let your mind run free. Think and feel like you can do all. Free to be you.

Have a lovely day and be nice. You can get more with truths and honesty than with bitterness and lies.

💖💖💖💖🤗🤗🤗🤗😊😊😊

3 days ago. Sun 16 Jun 2019 05:17:39 PM IDT

 

4 days ago. Sun 16 Jun 2019 04:50:36 AM IDT

I had met someone a few weeks back. He's a very busy man and I respect him so much. He's not been on and two weeks since I've heard from him. A friend for sure. Truly believe this is what sent me to the spiral fall I had. I'm worrying about him but I tell my mind and heart he's okay and just stepping back or very busy. It hurts to not know how he's doing. My question has so much self doubt within that I don't want to put life in. Denial no protection. This man mad me think and made me me feel like a sub. Just in what we talked about. Could he have been the Dom for me possibly. Yet I don't know where I stand or where it was going. 

Biggest mistake when I give I give myself completely. I really don't do anything half way. I give my all and do my very best. I was told by my second master he said no matter what be the best you can be. Lately I haven't been in all honesty I've been a brat because things aren't going my way. I'm not getting what I want yes I'm pouting big time. 

So in self reflections over the last week. I've decided it sounds crazy as hell. I'm going to be my own Domme. Yip all that my masters made me do I'll be making myself do. Why not? I've got no one in my site's so I have to be resourceful.

A friend and I were talking today. About how the mojo is fading. When in a realistic way of thinking. Dom or sub not using those traits and you know it's a part of you. You will get to where you feel lost or empty. Like anything if you continue to use those traits you don't get rusty. So Minx's mind decided after long thought throughout the past weeks. Today sealed the deal. I'm NO DOMME but I'm going to be one to make sure the mojo is not fading away.

 

 

 

 

4 days ago. Sat 15 Jun 2019 09:08:39 PM IDT

The other day one of my besties told me to do something for a week. I think it's coming up on a week. The only easy part and it's been hard is blogging once a day. She also asked me why I blog.

like to do blog just to release not always for recognition (but it's nice) not for advice but just to maybe help someone know they are alone going through something. I do it to show growth and myself. It's not easy and I'm still afraid and scared to show my dark side. Laughing because many can't believe it but I can be a real bitch and I hate that side.

The hard part of this challenge is. Stand in front of the mirror naked say in the AM "I'm beautiful" and the PM "I'm worthy" I've being doing this and my journals. I only hope my bestie sees some changes.

It's strange how we don't always see a change but others do. I felt when my change was occurring and I tried to stop it as it didn't feel right. I guess this is the time you are to reach out to those friends. It shame to me that I say this but it's been years since a friend took that much interest in me. I love the feeling.

 

 

Have a lovely weekend you all. Blessings to you and yours.