Haven't posted anything in awhile life has a way of being a traffic jam on your way home.
Well over the past few months I have concentrated bettering my self as a person. More physical attributes, I believe myself to be a confident person. I love me, I've become a bit more blunt over the years not so meek as I used to be. Ran across an old class mate and one of my co worker asked if he was an old crush.
I laughed and said no but one of the bullies that used to tease me as a kid, I like him more as an adult now. As my co worker stares at me mouth wide open in surprise. Yeah I forgave all who hurt me the day I started loving the person in the mirror.
I always considered my self the female version of Superman/Clark Kent. Two people in one body, which one you get who knows. Guess that's the Gemini in me. Hehe
There was an incident that happen the other day. That made me stop in shock that I had to sit and breathe and crash hault on my thought process. (I tend to think alot so my brain is always in chaos).
It made me realise can I actually submit to a Dom? Can I give over control?
But than a thought came to mind, as I was talking to a friend.
In all my life;
I have changed my thought process to adapt, to change the way I think or how I live for the better.
But this does not feel like I have to change anything, this feel right. This is me.
This journey that I'm taking, it stills the chaos that runs through me.
I've walked this world blind and all I needed is the right guide to show me where my steps needed to be and how to avoid the bumps so I won't fall.(I'm accident prone)
But it will always be my choice to hold on or let go.
Question: How and When did you realise you are a submissive?
I wasn't aware of my behavior or my actions.
I have an older man that works with me. And me being boss I have to take the more dominant role.
Older man: "Did you eat today?"
Me: "No, I didn't have time."
Older man:"That's no excuse, it's not healthy to skip meals." Pulls out a ruler and says hold out your hand and take a punishment.
I look him straight in the eye. "Eyebrow lift" Excuse me? With all seriousness .
All while my hands clinch to my sides out of his view.
Older man:"laughs, I'm playing"
Walks aways, I'd never fought so hard with myself to not pull my hands out for him."mentally shakes head in shock, I'm in trouble."