I watch and I learn, that’s what I do. And I’m beginning to understand the in-depth dynamic for a true D/s relationship. One of mutual respect, love, fun, indulgence and friendship. Those of you that have it I am so happy for you. It is what I strive for !
So I admit that I wasn’t as smart as I thought it was when I joined this community. Oddly enough it’s not the first time I’ve been wrong, but don’t tell those who know me in real life.
Finding the right person is like finding a needle in a haystack in the vanilla world, never mind here where the odds are even lower. It seems the cards are stacked against you when many of the ones that approach are not real, true, or serious....or they don’t fully read your profile to understand what it is you’re looking for.
I feel that being new doesn’t make me naïve, it just makes me inexperienced. That said I am not new to life only the BDSM aspect. I’ve been around long enough to understand people, watch their habits, observe the things that they say versus the things that they do and pay attention to patterns. It is an endless frustration to have someone approach me, have some semblance of a serious conversation and exchange much information, find that we might actually have many things in common outside of the D/s relationship, only to have them bug out after a couple of days.
I mean WTF? You haven’t earned my trust yet but yet you’re already telling me you want me to be yours. I can assure you you probably don’t after you act that way and realize how irritated I actually am, my switch side flares up and I no longer feel like being submissive in anyway shape or form.
My entire life has been spent taking care of those that I care about... even though I am an alpha female, the dominant side gets shit done and protects those I care for. However, at the end of the day, my nature is to be a nurturer and a submissive. It’s where I am most comfortable because I get to take a step back, clear my head and let my guard down.
Apparently that comes across as me being needy enough to submit to anyone who messages me for a couple of days and then feels like they don’t need to communicate, have a conversation or get to know me any further before they start making proclamations of ownership.
I think it’s best I just leave this here for now....
Ss
So this blog thing is all new to me but I have been following many of you here and I feel like this is a safe place for my thoughts and value those who take it seriously. I feel like I've been trapped for most of my life and have finally opened my eyes,,,to myself, others like me, those who have much more experience and knowledge...I've realized that there is much more than my little world. I'm not gong to ramble on (until I have a reason to) but think that this might be the very thing to balance me a bit. Write it down, read it, get others opinions....it's about community and learning!