Dear fat bastard living in the artic tundra,
Potty train your damn deer, last year it took a week to get those magical turds out of my gutter and the local goth group kept throwing a rave due to their ability to shoot psychedelic colors when mixed in snow.
As per our normal agreement I won't set up the deer stand nor ask for your elf's to be left butt ass naked and tied with tensile as a gift.
Yes I'm well aware that I'm on your naughty list, though in my defense it's been one hell of a pandemic and some people are just shit, that requires people like me to jerk a knot in their tail.. soo... there is that and it should count for something.
So if you agree:
The only winning lottery ticket for the drawing after Christmas day, here in my state.
One day, wherein I can be the me I suppress on a daily basis. When the day is over, make the world reset to the day before, leaving only me with the knowledge of what happened.
Yes I know those are outlandish but it softens you up to:
An automated asian sexdoll with accessories.
10 acres of land, 6 wooded and 3 with a deep pond.
A three bedroom home with two bathrooms and a full basement. This should be well enough for me to build my ^AngelBunny^ her dream of a rabbit sanctuary while providing privacy enough for me.
I would ask for that other partner that I've oft dreamed about to be with me & AngelBunny but let's face it, this world struggles to accept themselves and the concept of being loved is restricted to mono... despite all the other things we "love" devotedly.
Now that we got that out of the way, the coal box is still right there by the chimney and thx for the future BBQ briskets.
Cookies and milk are in the fridge.