Thank you for the challenge.
Tid bits of wisdom:
Very few are who they seem because most have an illusionary perception of themselves so first and foremost learn to stfu... I say that with all kindness. Quite your mind when you talk with someone & hear what they are saying. Pay attention to how they form their sentences and how many times they use filler sounds like ummm... these are signs of those who are struggling to be direct and are intentionally looking for the best way to convey their thoughts without revealing themselves. To often we are so busy forming a retort that we miss the conversation that could have been had if not for the noise of our own mind.
Txt isn't like reading a book where a backdrop is laid and our imagination is already prepared for the events unfolding. Txt has no feeling, no tone, and even with Emojis can easily be taken out of content. How a person feels when they read a txt is a strong indicator of how the txt is recieved. If you are feeling attacked, its because you're most likely feeling defensive. Re-read it before you respond, re-read the whole thing because assuming words is what we do with books... with txt, you can't assume as much, this causing a larger issue than was already there. Notice this aligned with stfu... 😂
Relationships are hard, more so inside of Kink where no doesn't mean no, hence we have safety words. Use this knowledge in other means to deepen your relationship. ^AngelBunny^ & I have safety word, usable for inside and outside of scenes. We have safety signs because sometimes words are unavailable. We have a cord of leather for times when we need to vent, the holders job is just to listen. Most of what will be said is just for the purpose of releasing energy. It's hard at times, but say nothing, give no response and when it's over don't move. Let 20 seconds go by and then do aftercare of:
"How is your mind? Did you get it all out?"
"How is your heart/emotions? Do you feel better?"
"How is your body? Did you hurt yourself in any way?"
Be respectful of who they are.... huggers need hugs, isolationists need only a nod. Both just need to know that YOU are ok with what was done... which means suck it up. Choke it down and let it flow out of you. This provides a safe communication environment for those who struggle to talk about emotions or release in bomb communications (before they blow up).
Do something every month that you would never think to have a desire to do. Talk to someone outside your comfort zone. Kiss someone "too old" or (while keeping it legal) "to young". Dress up for no reason, put on lose clothes with nothing underneath and walk in public. Whatever it is, just DO something. Who knows, you may find something you like.
Lastly you are in control of your own happy. It belongs to you. Wear that shit like a model down the catwalk!😍🔥😈
