Firstly, I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to this community for their support of each other! I love reading all of your blogs and I love how each one is different. And I want you all to know that I really appreciate everyone's feedback and insight. I truly feel like we have a great community on here and hopefully do my share in contributing positive growth.
Now... on to Part 2...
As I stated in my opening on the last post I don't like Bitch sessions. I actually hold myself to a 5 min rule when I'm in relationship. Only 5 minutes of venting and then we move on to another topic. It's healthy to address frustrations of the day without dwelling on them. Obviously, if there is a major issue it requires a longer discussion, which is not venting.
So... keeping in the mode of being the problem solver I am... we have identified the CHALLENGE of : differences in expectations of Doms and subs.
So....I'm putting this out to the community then.... HOW DO WE FIX THIS AS A COMMUNITY AND AS INDIVIDUALS???
How do we make our voices heard in a respectful manner BEFORE we have reached our personal maximum level of utter frustration??
I can attest that " the BROOKLYN" comes outta this girl faster than a speeding bullet! I have a REALLY long fuse UNTIL I DON'T.
If a guy pushes the envelop an inch over that line that he's been tiptoeing on all day long... LOOK OUT!! Dom or not.... you're gonna hear about it!
My personal BIGGEST frustration is not being heard on a consistent basis. I'm like Reagan, the " Great Communicator".... I use my words plainly and often. My needs RARELY change but center around the one main point of daily communication.
Why do some Dom's feel a daily 5 minute phone call, or heaven forbid... 2 Five minute phone calls are asking TOO much???
Do we say, "um... no. I'm not going to obey today. Um no. I don't have time to do what you asked of me," which might actually take an hour or two.
No. Unless there are extenuating circumstances, we DO what is expected EVERY DAY.
As I stated in Part 1: Love Languages Differ and when one in the relationship screws it up, then the offending party better figure out really quickly what the partner's Love Language is and FIX the issue.
Here they are if you're wondering:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Some of us are 1 Type, many are several. I'm big on physical touch, gifts and quality time. In my mind, words of Affirmation are expected and Acts of Service doesn't resonate for me at all because I see that as I'm a sub and it's my job to always do acts of service for my Dom and I do them with an open heart.
So... submissives AND DOMS.... how do we embark on changing the BAR of our Doms and our potential Doms???
I was explaining to my 19 yr old son this scenario:
You guys look at your friends and say... "Hey look at Tom. He's an idiot. Can't believe he was so stupid and did that to his girl. I've never done that. "
Women look at that same scenario and say, " Yes, Tom's an idiot but Joe did this, that and the other. He's NO better. I don't want either of them. "
Men compare themselves to their buddy who has a lower bar than they believe they have themselves and think they are doing WELL.
Women look at most men and realize none of them have their bar at the right height TO BEGIN WITH. We don't want either one of them.
Subs... How do we get these Doms to raise their bar and ACT like the MEN we NEED, WANT & DESERVE???
It's easy to say... stick to your guns and don't compromise, but is that REALLY a long term solution? Maybe. But it's a lonely one...
I'm seeking more of a WORKING SOLUTION that's doable when you're actually in a relationship. And I'm aware that the Dom has to be willing to LEARN a new way of BEING and DOING... a NEW way of interacting with an intelligent woman.
And Lord....grant us patience while they all get there! Cause some of you Doms are on the SHORT BUS when it comes to interpersonal relationships... OMG!
In the end, I think Julia Robert's said it best.... "“Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix him, change him, parent him. You want a partner, not a project.”.Jun 9, 2019
Cheers to not being the Rehab center! AND Cheers to the Doms who are STEPPING UP and Truly Desire to be GOOD Partners for their submissive.
I PROMISE YOU WE ARE WORTH THE EFFORT :o)