Now firstly I don't normally play with people. Either online or irl. It takes a select few who i trust to do so. BUT it got me thinking about the importance of rollplay.
Play opens up the conversation to learn what things might be like if you were to continue. Now i have had many who have not played with me but when we got to those conversations of what was expected i found we were not a match.
Play helps me see how they would treat me, how they get turned on and what they like. It helps me judge force, aftercare, similarities in desires and so on.
I will always always always be gaurded in this manner. Its just who i am. Last night i was talking with a friend i have known casually for a little while, and we had a very nice and unexpected play. To say he surprised me is an understatement. Also knowing my boundaries he continuously asked if i was ok, if he had overstepped and if we should stop. I had been feeling a little low due to other things and maybe he caught me at a weak moment. Regardless he made me feel good. And i guess that was the point. Feeling good about myself.
So now i feel i will add possible online rollplay to a potential partner. I was surprised at his own self improvement he does through research, how caring, patient and dominant he could be.
For once im not jumping into a frenzy. Just accepting it for what it was. Two friends sharing something. And obviously something that i needed