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The Muse

A creature that drives inspiration and passion in the soul of an artist.... Why is she charmed? She has become enthralled with her subject. The artist has rendered her to her knees.
5 years ago. January 13, 2019 at 10:23 PM

This part of my journey I plan on taking us across the seas and far far away to the “Land of the Morning Calm”. Otherwise known as Korea.

I didn’t want to spend too much time discussing how I met my first husband and that relationship, although it is important to note that I was just 20 when I married him. I had no idea what I -really- wanted. I thought he’d make a good woman out of me. I’ve always felt so dirty and corrupt. Maybe it was because of my kinks and sexual appetite. I wanted everything. Even then. I just didn’t know what it was I was looking for. Someone to love me and tell me I was beautiful even though I was a slut…or because I was. I’ll just refer to my first husband as “the Punisher”, and not in a good way.


Freshly married, we shipped out to Korea together. His position, where we were stationed, afforded him the opportunity to take an EMT class. His instructor was a lovely young woman. His course required a stay over in Seoul to observe the ER at the hospital there. When he returned, I was getting his clothes ready to take to the laundry and found a note he wrote… to her. It said something about the best night that never happened.

Now… I realize this meant that they didn’t have sex. However… in my young mind.. he betrayed my trust… emotionally. Naturally I was upset and confronted him. He made me feel like I had no right to feel upset because I had so many sexual partners before I married him… He made me feel so worthless.

I never recovered from that. He never felt he was wrong.

That being said…. I had to paint a picture of where I was mentally when I got involved with my spanker.

My unit performed missions throughout the wee hours of the night and morning. My partner for most of these missions was a guy who was relatively good looking and kind. We hung out a lot, on and off duty. During our missions we would have hours we would spend inside a small diagnostic van… alone… just the two of us. We talked a lot. He comforted me when I was visibly upset about that note.

One night… it happened. I’m not sure what came over him but I decided to lay over a spinning stool and spin around while we waited for our data to download after our mission. He stopped my spin and his hand smacked my ass sharply. I gasped and felt my face flush and my heart race and moisture collect between my legs. What the fuck? Was my first thought… I spun back around and looked up at him in shock and said, “You might want to stop doing that.” … He was grinning! He asked “Or what?”… I really didn’t know but I had the need to launch myself off the stool at him… with not a plan to what came next. I stammered in my response, “It’s kinda turning me on”. He spun me back around and gave me a few more really hard swats. That was it… I jumped off the stool and clung to him like a mad woman and we started making out. He’d bite my lips and pinch my nipples… and it made me absolutely crazy.

We carried on our affair until I left the country… still married to the punisher. I confessed the affair. It just gave him more stuff to punish me for. Ten years. Hell.


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