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Rose's Thorns.

A general pondering.
5 years ago. February 3, 2019 at 11:40 PM

I am finding some things difficult and after speaking to one or two of you alone decided to share this publicially on here. I am struggling with the concept of being in a relationship. BDSM wise is fine, its the relationship part thats hard.... and yes i know BDSM can be a realationahip they are not seperate just bare with me... I have chronic health issues (you wouldnt know it to look at me) but i am unwell at times. Now i am missing the submissive side of me and i have a hole in my chest with not engageing in this lifestyle... but i am also not engageing in relationships either. I have Zero idea how to communicate my issues with someone, and actually get the point across. Its easy to say well its fine. No i need it to be taken seriously, im not saying this will happen but whoever i am with could see me fade away, thats a difficult thing to see when its your partner. I have seen this take hold of my last Dom and destroy him inside. It was brutal for both of us. I am not sure to go about a friends with benifit style where they are aware but the impact would be less server for them personally. As much as i hate to admit this i want a relationship i want to feel that closeness with someone again, im missing it. Yet i cant stand the idea of hurting someone like i will if they choose to spend time with me, i will waste away at some point. I have seen what that does to someone and how it can slowly destory a Dom, i cant do that again. And this is the essance of being mentally and emotinally masochistic..... im suck between a rock and a hard place, any advice would be apreiciated. 

Justme26 - What illness do you have? (obviously you COULD send me a private message if you do not want to say it in public).
5 years ago
HisRedd{Self} - 💗solitude- isn’t loneliness, within it you can find healing. Speak to your soul, listen to your heart. Sometimes in the absence of noise we find answers. -Doninski 💋
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - That's beautiful thank you, im not alone... but im starting to feel that way, its not something I often feel and just a bit lost processing the feeling.
5 years ago
HisRedd{Self} - I understand, this thing called life is confusing (LOL). I often find myself needing to be still and meditate to help find answers. I hope you find what works for you, I’m here if you just need to talk. Wish you peace and understanding. 💋
5 years ago
Thecharmedmuse​(switch female){My Wildman} - I think that once you realize it isn’t YOU hurting a Dom... You might be more open to that relationship. I’ve met some pretty remarkable Doms that would stand by you no matter what. As long as they are aware of the gravity of the situation. You deserve that. You deserve to have that. *hugs*
5 years ago
Loulou​(sub female) - There will definitely someone out there that will live to please you for you and nurture you and care for you . Hugs and my inbox is always open for a chat
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - Thank you all for your kind words, as a sub... you need to submit... this is a bit of a stumbling block as its difficult for me to accept that someone would be willing to go through that sort of pain.
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - it just seems cruel
5 years ago
Loulou​(sub female) - It is not tho as a Dominant who got to know you and loved you would want to care for you and you can submit in many different ways . Mental submission etc . Write letters , poetry. Paint etc x
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - I think part of it is understanding my comfort levels with it, that has happened but one of the conditions is well just difficult to explain until you see it.. I have very little memory of when im ill so trying to get the consent bit is hard. Its hard for someone to know what they are agreeing too. There will be a way around it but time will tell xx
5 years ago
Loulou​(sub female) - I guess you would do all the capacity when you are well like I contract . I am only guessing would hate to offend or presume anything
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - I have thick skin hun… you now know why im on it with safety xxx
5 years ago
WhatamIfightingfor​(dom male) - I am in the same boat.
2 years ago

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