Ok, I'll be the first to admit that I can be pretty dark. It's difficult sometimes to look past everything happening, past what I don't have any more to see what I do.
I was diagnosed with Parkinson's with Central Pain Syndrome and Essential Tremors complications a decade ago. For those that may not know what this means, my brain is turning to tapioca in my skull, I vibrate like a nympho's favorite dildo on my bad days, and I live in pain. Each stroke of the keys on the keyboard feels like some bastard replaced the keys with needles heated in a furnace and hooked to electrical current.
On top of that joy, I watched, helpless, as my wife, my step-mother, and my father all died within nine months. I live alone with a dog and three cats and don't see anyone face-to-face for days and even weeks at a time.
***shrug***
It's not a pissing contest. My pain is no better or worse to me than what someone else is feeling is to them. My point is that, yes, I understand how hard it is to see the light for the darkness some days.
But, here's the thing. We are not just the crude meat bag that we wear around every day. We are the heart, the mind, and the soul stuffed inside it.
And I can not be sorry for anything that I have been through. Not the mistakes. Not the pain. None of it. Because if I hadn't been through it, then I wouldn't be the me that is sitting here now. I would be something else.
Neither can I be sorry for what you have gone through. I can feel for your pains and sorrows. I can thrill at your pleasures and joys. But, to wish that you had experienced anything different than what you have would be to belittle the you that you survived as. The you that you are on your way to becoming tomorrow.
Diamonds are made from heat and pressure.
As I've looked around, I've seen people on either side of the slash lamenting. And that is to the good. We need to be able to vent sometimes. To purge those dark, negative energies before they poison our souls.
But, there is good, too. There is always good. And you have it within you to be that good for someone. Or to have someone be that good for you if you allow them.
Let me show you.
If it is your birthday and the missionary barrel comes, you can either be sad that the doll you wanted wasn't in it instead of the crutches that were. Or you can be glad that you don't need the crutches.
To the right ones;
You are beautiful enough.
You are smart enough.
You are funny enough.
You are kind enough.
You are unique enough.
Your smile is a drug to the right addict.
Your laugh is music to the right ears.
You are worth love and affection from the people worthy of yours.
You are more precious than a diamond to those worth valuing.
You are the most stunning of all God's creations to those that can see it.
You are worth more than any material wealth you could ever imagine to those worth valuing.
You are incredible.
You are awesome.
You are inspiring.
You are admirable.
You will never be too much to the ones meant to handle you.
You will always be enough to those meant to value you.
You are making a difference each and every day.
To the right people.
Any flaw that "they" find is not in you, except in that you allow their perception to color your own rather than people that have the eyes to really see you, the ears to really hear you, the open mind and heart to really understand you...
Life is only twenty percent what we make it. The other eighty percent is how we take it. So make yours a good day, and anyone else's you conveniently can. It may just be that today someone needs your shining light on their own dark path, Diamond Heart.
Challenge (should you choose to accept it); find one positive from the last twenty-four hours, no matter how big or small, and share.
Mine is easy. You. Yes, you that took the time to read all this down to this point. The fact that you gave enough of a damn to find out what mad meanderings were mulling about in my myopic mind has brightened my day already. The fact that someone as special as you found something worth reading about from No One of Consquence...
