over the last few months....before leaving for vegas an old play partner suddenly popped up. and a few other new people hit me up on fet. and so i chatted here and there ...dancing the dance with them.
my exe Sir is poly and the understanding always was...that since we were long distance 1500 miles....that i could have other play partners near me.
and so a couple of potential people popped up...and i danced the dance...chatting, limits, wants, needs that kind of thing. all along the way making it clear i was looking for play partners not collars not permanence.
well the old play partner is dancing around trying to get me to understand that i can offer my submission to him...my precious gift..and well he is a SOS spanker....same old spot. so naaaaaa not going to happen.
one of the new ones....well.....hes taken the side of.....when you run out of ppl to play with...call me. and thats fine but thats probably not likely to happen.
the last guy. was down to earth during all the chatting...his kids are the same age as mine. but the most important part is ...i was honest ..about where ive been on my travels through BDSM and while He isnt into the abuse, the marks and especially the pain....He has shown me the side that ive never experienced before.
His light touches all over...the perfectly planned spanks.....the cuddling.....the closeness......the chat.....and more.....placed me on a summit i had not reached till then. i felt like a violin my body responding perfectly to every touch and caress and kiss and spank. and afterwards while cuddling and chatting about everything i realized how comfortable...how mellow i felt. i was amazed at all that i had experienced.
me ...the way i am....He was happy with. He didnt want me to change anything.....didnt demand i paint my nails or wear makeup next time. absolutely no criticism...just 100% pure acceptance.
and so this morning the world for me looks completely different. yesterday my self-esteem came out of hiding.
and as i look at myself in the mirror there are no new bruises, temporary marks and most importantly there was no new trauma.
