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A-Z poetry and thoughts

Just a blog I'm creating to post some poems and thoughts.
11 months ago. Dec 12, 2019, 12:53 AM

The feeling of drowning

Feeling the pressure around you

To be better

A better daughter

A better mother

A better believer

And a better person

Only to have yourself, inevitably given into the worst side of you

so it hurts even more

knowing that you drowned for nothing

The feeling of sinking

After you've already drowned

so you're going to hit rock bottom

and that's okay

you've been here before

it's familiar, almost like a second home

to the doubts that became truths

and what could you do

when there was nothing left to do

The feeling of defeat

Truly overwhelming, I must say

Even worse than drowning

There is no floating to the top

No swimming to the surface

There's no air

Except for in the bubbles escaping you

The last bit you can give

The last fight you can put up

And then there's the feeling of relief

when you close your eyes

and accept

that life was headed nowhere but here

so why fight it now

you cave into your worst self

you accept her with an embrace

and you start to see the surface

but you're going too fast and that's okay

The feeling of spiraling

You're a hurricane

Raging through the water onto

Throwing, Tossing, Running, Flying

And no force in this world can stop you nor would it dare

for you are vengeful and angry

and suddenly you're not

You look around at the dismay

At all the pain

And once again you get the feeling that you are drowning

but instead you land

Your feet on the ground

You begin to rebuild

To pick up the pieces left

The broken bits

You come to the realization, finally

That you should have never let yourself sink

Or spiral

You should have swam not swarmed

For this is not who you are or ever were

But you decided to give into

The feeling of drowning

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