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Roses are red, Bruises are blue

My journey of love and depravity.
4 years ago. January 7, 2020 at 4:56 AM

We giggle and climb higher. I look back over my shoulder and see that Sir isn’t far behind. With a squeal of renewed vigor, I turn back around ready to tell her to hurry but she’s already two levels above me. I don’t waste a second climbing up through the tunnel made of plastic levels and nets. I want to make it to the top before Sir. When I poke my head up through the final passage she’s waiting there with a smile. I pull myself up and sit back on my heels to look around. I can see the tops of the other buildings in the city. It’s only seconds before Sir is pulling himself up to sit beside me. He smiles at me and my heart skips a beat. I love that he doesn’t just let me run wild with my little friend but when I’m little he runs wild with me. He encourages me to be me, whatever age I am that day, and he stays close so that I am safe and so that I can always find him when I need him.

 

This weekend was another great one. Saturday we had a blast at the Adventure Science Center in Nashville. The wife of the friends couple we have there picked the location for us to celebrate her birthday. I am so glad she did! They had all kinds of neat things there. We played a virtual soccer game, played a shooting game, climbed on the indoor jungle gym, blasted up coke bottle rockets, danced in front of body heat projectors, made music videos, and so much more. One of my favorite parts was a game I played with Sir in which you put a headband on that reads your brain waves. There’s a tiny ball on the table between you. When your brain emits Alpha and Theta waves, it moves the ball towards your opponent. The person who can move the ball, with their mind, all the way across the table to the other person wins. At first I put all of my focus on the ball “Move! Go that way! Move!” I screamed in my mind at the ball as it began moving on a fairly steady path towards me. Seeing as to how that method was not working in my favor, I quickly accepted my certain defeat and focused instead on Sir. He was wearing his sexy arrogant smirk because he too realized the ball was on a quick path towards his victory. That smirk sent my mind into a tailspin of memories of the night before; a kiss here, a lick over there, a bite, a scratch, a smack, a scream, a smirk. And just like that the ball started rolling straight towards Sir. As the images in my brain began to flash from moment to leg quivering moment, the ball finally stopped right in front of Sir. Game over.

 

The Adventure Center was followed by dinner at The Pharmacy. If you’re at all familiar with Nashville, you’re familiar with this restaurant. It’s always packed and everyone has been insisting that I try it out. I have to admit, it didn’t disappoint. We got crazy lucky and ended up getting a table straight away. After a delicious sandwich, I sucked down a yummy chocolate milkshake and nearly gave myself a tummy ache. Before we left, Sir bought me a souvenir Pharmacy shirt. It’s super comfy and I’ve been wearing it to sleep in.

 

Saturday night playtime was a little shorter than most for us. I don’t talk about triggers much in my blogs if I’ve even mentioned them at all, but they are something I struggle with from past traumas. Mostly I’ve learned to cope with them and power through. This is from a combination of therapy, self-care, Dominate support, and prayer. It’s not something you just get over, it’s something you have to work through. While I don’t know that I’ll ever get to a point in my life where I have zero triggers, I have gotten to a place where 9 out of 10 times I can take deep breaths and talk myself through it in a matter of seconds, to the point where the people or person causing the trigger aren’t even aware anything happened. But 1 out of 10 times, I have trouble. Typically this is when the trigger isn’t a momentary thing, it’s something that is still occurring and I can’t just shake it off. One of my triggers is asphyxiation. I love breath play in the form of choking, but I panic when something is covering (or close to covering) my face, or weighing heavily on my chest. Sir is fully aware of this and is very cognizant of when I tense up and he’ll back away to give me space. It’s usually as simple as leaning back a couple of inches and the scene can continue without a hiccup. However, occasionally when I’m facedown into a pillow or the bed I’ll get the same sensation. These are the scenes I have to mentally fight through and put my full trust in him. Like I said above, most of the time, it’s not a problem for me to do that. But Saturday night, during a face/stomach down rope scene in bed, I panicked and no amount of breathing or mental pep talks could get me past it. I asked Sir to talk to me. I needed to hear his voice. I needed the soothing cadence of his words to reassure that it was him behind me, him in control of my body. But in my mental state, all I could do was say “Can you talk to me please?” This, of course, threw him off. I’ve never asked that before and I wasn’t offering any explanation. I couldn’t at the time, and while he was fully aware by my tone that I was in some kind of distress he wasn’t sure why. He asked me a few questions that I couldn’t quite answer and so he made the decision to end the scene, untie me, and just hold me for a while. Heavy panic makes me tired and so it wasn’t long before I drifted off to sleep.

 

Sunday was a new day. We had a lazy playful morning and before lunch I asked to do a suspension scene and I AM SO GLAD WE DID. This was my favorite suspension we did so far. I can’t exactly tell you why, because I’m not sure myself, but it was just perfect. It wasn’t particularly fancy. It was light, playful, and sexy. Sir synced our Airpods so that we could listen to the same music while he tied. Because I had asked for the suspension, Sir asked if I had any particular thing in mind. I wanted it to be fun and not too intense so I suggested a pretty basic horizontal suspension, and he gave me exactly that.

 

After that we ate lunch and then Sir asked if I wanted playtime before I had to leave. I eagerly nodded yes since I had fallen asleep somewhat early the night before. He asked the question he already knew the answer to. “And what does my kitten want?” “All of the things.” And that’s exactly what he gave me. Several intense back to back orgasms, followed by many swift and hard hits by 4 whips and a belt, and then immediately followed by more intense orgasms. No time or hesitation between these things. He was relentless and I was an exhausted mess when he was done.

 

Our weekend ended as usual with a heart aching airport goodbye.

 

Until next week,

 

=^.^=

Vale​(sub female){Marcellus} - That is hilarious about the mind control ball! Did you tell him how you won?
That suspension looked AWESOME! Bravo!
And thank you for sharing your trigger story. Having an attack like that is always hard. But it is great that Yours was able to respond so quickly. You two are amazing together!
4 years ago
AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} - I did. He knew by the look on my face that whatever I was thinking it was dirty lol. Pretty sure our friends knew that too. I have zero poker face.

We are both very lucky to have found each other. The dynamic that we’ve built isn’t at all what either of us said we were originally looking for, but it’s evolved into something so deep and intense and full of love and passion. It’s perfect for us. It’s surpassed anything I knew was possible.
4 years ago
cerulean​(switch female) - I loved reading your account of the tower. That was super fun and I'm so glad we got to share it. It is sweet to see how he jumps in and plays with you. I'm happy to have you to play with too 💜
Sorry to read you had a trigger disturb a session like that. It's nice how he took care of you in it though and that you were able to have some great sessions Sunday before going home.
4 years ago

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