Rose's Thorns.

SSG{ENM-TLP} - Good morning, the best place to post your suggestion is on the forums. Look at the drop down for topics and there is one for Suggestions.

rosethorn​(sub female) - Rules say you can't post private messages, thought it best to check with admin.

SSG{ENM-TLP} - RT, what I mean is the suggestion in general is a good one. You should post your suggestion on the suggestion forum, so it can be considered. As for the message you received, I would "block" the person because he/she is obviously not someone you would want to even entertain as a prospect. Anyone who would say such wouldn't be a safe prospect. You can go to his profile, scroll to the bottom and click "Block User."

rosethorn​(sub female) - Thank you, i have blocked the user. Its amazing to get so many red flags in one sentence. They had read my profile and clearly didn't understand my red limits but used them instead. I will go have a look if i can find that forum i will post this there. Thank you

CuriousT​(sub female) - Good idea, I got the same message this morning. What a great way to introduce yourself. I just love people. 😉

Satindragon - As SSG suggested block that person. Plus if you go to SSG’s blog she did a great post a couple of weeks ago about this sort of stuff.

SSG{ENM-TLP} - Thank you Satin. Rose, here is the link to the post she is referring to. copy and paste the address because links aren't hyperlinked in blog comments. https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=59572&postid=28388

rosethorn​(sub female) - Honestly, im more concerned about newbies. I can handle myself well... was difficult not to tear a chunk off the idiot in all honesty but he would still be there messaging others. If i was new i would have left as its trauma inducing

Bunnie - It could be beneficial for newbies, I see what you mean. Anonymous would have to occur for both parties though... not just the poster.

Sounds like it would be a nightmare for Admin to moderate though lol... at times we struggle to play nice even just in general!

I think as SensualSubGirl suggested... posting your question to Admin in the Suggestions Forum is a good idea, as it will likely be responded to a lot faster there.

rosethorn​(sub female) - I cant find the forum *facepalm lol. Or even if it was messages that people received in general not necessarily this site... or made up examples im sure we could think of a few. I understand the need to protect privacy and it would be a nightmare for admin but think its worth considering, posting the message doesn't mean you're identitying the person. It also shows what is acceptable and not. If you look at someone's profile see there red limits and go ooo i know im going to message saying yes you deserve better then list doing and hitting most of the limits on there.... and i have the nickname thorny.... i can only imagine what others might get. No no and no are words to live by online

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - Rather than an ongoing forum, where a lot of info could get buried even if routinely added to/ bumped (does anyone ever read back through all, what, 126 pages of the introduction thread?) how about exactly what you've done. Call out the objectionable message and identify it as inappropriate in a blog so the new folks see what a shit contact looks like. I've seen it used rather successfully with a few of the mass spammers. No names or thinly veiled identification so nothing against the rules. Other folks can chime in with 'Damn, I just got the exact same stupid message' if they desire or just 👍 if they concur it was a dick manuever. If it's a legitimately decent person who sent the offending message they might just learn how not to be a douche from it. And both newbie recipients and senders can see what the community feels is acceptable and what it does not. And entering it as a blog entry gets it in front of folks real-time. Just a suggestion... - Henna

rosethorn​(sub female) - I agree but it says no personal messages so wanted to check first

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - It's not necessary to copy and paste to get your message across. Let me pull an example of one I've gotten....hold one...

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - Okay, got one. It's older and I already berated the sender soundly so it's a done deal but a good example.

I'd title the blog something like 'How not to impress the ladies' (but probably in Galician because I'm weird like that...)

So, guess what appeared unsolicited from some rando in my box today...

youre going to beg for me and submit to me

Yeah, no, thanks anyway tho!

rosethorn​(sub female) - Thank you for checking with the poster first.

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - I'm afraid I wasn't clear there. I didn't check with the person that sent it in order to use the statement that I found in the inbox. I meant I chewed them out at the time for not reading profile and sending out a ridiculous shotgun blast. I usually do respond to the majority of the knucklehead messagers, I figure they won't learn if everybody just deletes and blocks. (If they are capable of learning... some aren't).

That's the thought process of using our blogs, it shows what we think is acceptable to the new folks and helps any of the folks that sent a stupid message because they didn't know any better. The assholes that don't care if they are being offensive aren't any more likely to read your blog (or an ongoing forum) than they are to read your profile.

I do agree with the not identifying people or doing the just slightly disguised 'I'm not actually saying their name' thing. Many of us, me included, haven't been as good as we should have with that and it's caused more harm than help. But I don't personally see using an objectionable phrase someone subjected you to as identifying them in any way. A lot of us have mentioned the stupid 'Kneel Bitch' things we get. I think it helps, both the recipient and the other folks out there wondering if they are the only person who gets talked to that way randomly.

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - No shade, btw, for anyone that elects to delete and block. We all have to do what works best in the moment. I'm rather crotchety and generally prefer to reciprocate when I feel it's warranted. A few folks have actually learned from the encounter but truthfully most don't, clapping back is more for my stress relief than changing some douchecanoe's behavior.

rosethorn​(sub female) - Same thats why im thorny.
So here goes...
I see you don't like type d, you deserve better than type d why don't you bend over and i can use my tongue or something to that effect.
I have nothing against types in this lifestyle but I have limits for a reason its trauma inducing

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - It isn't afoul of the rules to discuss something said to you by an asshat, as long as you don't identify said asshat. You have every right to be offended by someone who approached you crassly. Sharing it here is for your benefit (this is our space to unburden), it's to the benefit of the new people (so they realize that their feelings of being offended are valid, that 'real' subs don't just allow anyone to say anything to them and accept it with a smile and downcast eyes), and hell, maybe might even help the obviously confused person who thought that was an acceptable way to contact (is a long-shot, but could happen!).

I'm sorry you were confronted like that, Rose. Can't promise that sharing that shit will actually make people stop thinking it's okay, but I know for me anyway, it's helpful to drag it into the light. No need to suffer in silence. *Henna hugs*

rosethorn​(sub female) - Aww thanks lovely, sounds silly but the mood i was in i did him a favour by blocking him. Your right i think other subs need to see each other say no this is not acceptable way to approach or even talk to us. Yes we may be into bdsm but im a human first.