Something I think about alot when I feel frozen, is how to break free. I think some would call it apathy or depression. I see it more as time well spent in the pressure cooker. One that forces you to look deep into yourself! I hope those that read this will enjoy it, as I think many of us can relate to this as we try to better ourselves. Thanks for reading!
As if sealed within a container cut off from the outside world, your weekness comes to say hello and remind you that you are just a little spec of dust in this cosmic reality.
You may try to prove your worth for months or even years, but each time, at some point or another youll find yourself back in that pressure cooker wondering who you are and why your here. What is the point of proveing yourself to yourself if your just a spec of dust, here just long enough to know you existed.
In that dark cold vessle you'll begin to loose who you are. You'll begin to wonder if you ever were at all.
Your insecurities come at you one by one taunting you, forcing you to look at yourself. You fight so hard to push that mental image of yourself out of your head. You cant stand to think of what youll loose if these things were to consume you, to magnify themselves so massivly that everyone you ever knew would know how scared you are inside.
Sitting still, becomes a chore and leaveing is too terrifying to hold as a valid option.
The world spins out of control as you cant take the pressure anymore. Fighting to hold your feet down on the ground you suddenly freeze in your tears and confess to the blackness of your mind that your a fraud. A fake, looser, idiot, moron, slut, can't do anything rite.
Fully broken inside with no one els around for lightyears, and darkness covering that same expance you let out that tear jerking scream of life. The most honest thing you have ever said with the most conviction youve ever said anything. "IM FUCKING NOTHING OK" " IVE GOT NOTHING, I HAVE NOTHING, I AM NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!"
Your chest begins to loosen up as the tears drip off your face. "AHHHHHHH!!!!" a last sceam echoes from your breath into the abyss as more tears pour from your tierd eyes. You sit sobbing inconsolably for a time, takeing in your realization of how much you are not made of!
Is that a light you see far off in the distance. It seems to be moveing closer very slowly. Suddenly thousands of stars begin to light up all moveing in your direction at the same time picking up immence speed.
That stupid little smirk apears on your face as if you had no idea this was going to happen, as all the stars blast straight at you, filling your entier being will radiance and love.
Now like never before you understand what other people need and want and feel. You dont see yourself in so many negative ways anymore. All you see is possibilities to become something amaizing. Something more than nothing and nobody. Something that gives value to everything and everyone around you! Something worth all the stars in the universe!
