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Something Witty

Whatever is on my mind, really.
5 years ago. April 16, 2018 at 8:44 PM

Oryx and I were discussing the psychology behind people choosing BDSM practices. She believes I have Sensory Processing Disorder. While she's not a doctor, her oldest son was diagnosed with it when he was a toddler. She says I have consistent symptoms. I like to touch things. Things that look like they'd feel "neat" or "feely". I have an aversion to foods with a certain texture. And it hurts my ears to ride in a car with the windows down. Specifically when the pressure in the car is off and the wind sounds like helicopter blades. If she's correct, she thinks that's why I have a high pain tolerance. People with SPD often have an aversion to typically benign touches, like tickling. In turn, they often have a high tolerance for things that would be painful to nuerotypical people. That lead me to do some research on masochism. How the pleasure parts of their brain light up at pain stimuli and their tolerance in general is much higher compared to non-masocistic folks. 

Then I learned there is some correlating data between those with PTSD and BDSM. Also, cancer survivors and BDSM. And the science and psychology behind it is fascinating. 

I've been told by many that practicing BDSM is a cathartic experience. It is for me, too. It relieved stress. Can ease anxiety. It can sometimes involve a much deeper level of trust and intimacy. For these reasons some people gravitate towards it as a release and break from everyday life. For some, that's all it may be. For no other reason than they like the feeling of being free. They enjoy the cathartic experience of letting go completely. And that's it. 

I am not interested in anyone's background story who doesn't want to tell it. Or anything that may drum up feelings of anxiety or panic. I would, however, like for those who are comfortable to identify whether they fall into one of these categories. You can comment on this blog or send me a bond. Or pretend you never read it. Again, I do not want to pry. And I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I think we, as a community, are a very complex group. So, if you so choose, please reply or bond with the number that corresponds with what you feel may be a "why" behind your BDSM preferences. 

1. Purely cathartic. An escape. Or just sexually arousing. 

2. Mental disorder. Ie- ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, other (list if you like)

3. Mental Illness. Ie- PTSD, anxiety, depression, Traumatic Brain Injury, other (list if you like)

4. Serious injury survivor. Ie- paralysis, amputation, other (list if you like)

5. Life Threatening Illness. Ie- cancer, viral or bacterial infection, other (list if you like)

Again, I am purely intrigued by the inner workings of why we belong to this community. If you are in anyway uncomfortable or upset, please don't hesitate to let me know. And don't provide an answer, reply or bond or otherwise, if you don't want to.

If there's enough interest and enough replies, I'll post my findings while keeping the anonymity of those who have replied privately. I appreciate all of you for being who you are immensely. 

GrimmMaiden​(dom female){GrimmOryx} - I'll go first.
2
3
And 1
5 years ago
GrimmMaiden​(dom female){GrimmOryx} - To elaborate on mine...most of my anxiety stems from my ADHD. Not being able to prioritize. Not being able to focus on a stressful situation long enough to work through it. Or focusing too hard on it to the point I can't get beyond it. BDSM helps me let go. I give my Domme control and I can finally relax. The pain from spanking or flogging doesn't *hurt*. Because it doesn't hurt, it's arousing. Maybe because it feels dangerous or taboo. Just dirty? Either way, I'm a fan. And that's the why for me. Mostly letting go of what my ADHD and anxiety does to me. And hot.
5 years ago
GrimmOryx​(sub female){Maiden's S} - I’m going to say mine is a combination of 1 and 3, though BDSM was part of me prior to the experiences causing PTSD. I’m finding that since entering back into the fold, as it were, this is healing parts of me that I didn’t even know were damaged.
The need for intimacy, the need to be respected, the need to simply be needed, and the need to control my environment inasmuch as possible without crossing the boundaries into abusiveness... they all play a big part in my draw to BDSM.
5 years ago
GrimmOryx​(sub female){Maiden's S} - I’m amending something... initially I decided that my ADD didn’t play a part, but after brief thought... I’m saying it does. It causes a tailspin of chaos in my brain and fuels my need to control what I’m able to.
5 years ago
shahh - 1 and 3 for me... And unbeknownst to me, possibly 2?!

Until today when GM brought up the term in chat, i had never heard of sensory processing disorder. Your description of food texture (i refused to eat a cheesecake that was too inconsistently textured on saturday), wanting to touch soft things and OMG i thought the car window thing was just me!!!.. Anyways... Poor sentence structure...all those are me. I cannot handle being barefoot on grass or sand, bright lights hurt and too much light movement drives me batty, random noise is difficult to process...etc.

I am needing to reflect more on this, but pain for me is like a drug. I relax and calm, my eyes dilate and my breathing often steadies...along with the fun arousal of course ?

I have suffered and still battle with anxiety and depression as well. I have my whole life and this will probably lifelong for me. It stems from some… let’s say...unfortunate childhood experiences.

Very interesting post GM. I am curious to see where this leads.
5 years ago
GrimmMaiden​(dom female){GrimmOryx} - Thanks for the response! The SPD may be worth looking into if you'd just like to know. I'm personally fine with not knowing. I already know I'm a little weird. I don't need a doctor to tell me so ;)
But it could offer some insight to things you have trouble with that cause you issues in life. You could find new and/or more effective coping mechanisms.
5 years ago
Bunnie - This is really interesting, thank you for sharing. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything, but I can definitely relate to what you were saying about SPD, and funnily enough, I’ve just been discussing tickling and how my “soft limits” list would look funny to some, because that almost makes my list. Another one that really stands out for me is being flogged in the same spot (ie. With a crop, tapping in one spot)... not from a pain perspective, for some reason i just find it overwhelmingly irritating (which was heaven to the sadist who helped me discover this lol).
5 years ago
Lazuli - I’m conflicted on arguing that it’s just 1 for me but I do understand that while I felt kinky before I ever suffered any major issues from my disorder doesn’t mean my disorder was there all along so I suppose it’s 1 and 2 for me.
5 years ago
ALittleTooMuch​(sub female) - #1 & #3. I found this a very interesting read as so much applies to me.
5 years ago
GrimmMaiden​(dom female){GrimmOryx} - Thank you to everyone who's responded so far! I truly appreciate it!
5 years ago
dollMaker​(dom male) - 1 only.
5 years ago
alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } - g.m. , I will add mine to the list. they woll be 1 & 5. those that have known me for a while know that I have hydrocephalus due to non communicating aqueducts. lol what a big list of words that is. In layman's terms basically means that I have a non-cancerous cyst cyst blocking my Aqua Ducks where the fluid drains from around my brain. So I have a shunt that helps manage the fluid. Have had 4 brain surgeries since 98 I was born with it didn't get diagnosed until I was 6 months pregnant with my oldest. Well it was non-cancerous I did almost died from the pressure. But I'm not quite sure if it's what caused me to be in there this or if it's just because of the fact that I view life differently than others and whether or not that is a part of how I view things or why I view things the way that I do.... I'm not sure if that made any sense, but it's the only way I can explain how I view things sometimes
5 years ago

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