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What Do I Want From A Sub?

When a woman submits to a man, it's the most precious gift she can give. Herself. Unreservedly. The man has to respect and honor that gift above all else. Even if he respects nothing else in the world, he must respect the woman in his care. It's his sworn duty to protect, honor and cherish his submissive. To take care of her and provide a safe haven. Someone who would put his own needs above his woman's is no man.”
― Maya Banks, Sweet Addiction
3 years ago. July 17, 2020 at 3:05 AM

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - I love *most* of the educational theory things you post... and I know YOU know this but this is a point for anyone who might be reading who doesnt.

****This poster is misleading***
Correction to it:
Roles are a spectrum.
DOM: The one who controls specific aspects aspects of a submissive or their relationship for a specified period of time, a moment in time, or indefinitely as long as consent is given. The aspects He/She controls are negotiated before a relationship is entered into and as any living document may be edited as the relationship progresses by mutual consent.

Sub: Is the one surrendering control of those areas she has consented to for the time period that she has consented to.

Rules:
Dom: Is responsible FOR the relationship and the areas of control he has been granted and chosen to accept responsibility for.

Submissive: Surrenders control over those areas of life they agreed to. Accepts that control and behaves accordingly. Trusts their Dom to take care of their needs and in turn can focus on the wants and needs of the Dom, while always recognizing that ultimately they are responsible TO the relationship not FOR it.


^that poster equates a slave hearted mentality and TPE (total power exchange) as being the only route to a D/s relationship, which is not at all true.

Enjoy yourselves but above all be Safe, Sane, and actively participate in Consent. Most of all *get educated* so that you recognize things like this. <3

~Faith
(All due respect O <3)
3 years ago
Orgazmo​(dom male){serenity m} - The original meme covers some basic points. Your post drills it down into more specific detail.
3 years ago
Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} - I'm with Faith. This is an extremely narrow view of what a relationship/dynamic is, both misleading and potentially dangerous/abusive outside of an informed, discussed, and agreed upon Master/slave TPE situation. Even then, it falls into a gray area. My opinion is the same regardless of which side of the dynamic I'm looking at it from.
Outside of M/s TPE ... Relationships/dynamics are, and should be, based on far more than just control. You are ultimately responsible for your own health and well-being regardless of how much control you give up. Needs are necessities, things you negotiate for and things that you should never give up or be asked to. If red flags are going off, you feel uncomfortable, or you feel like something is wrong when it comes to these things or your partner/a potential partner in general ... trust your instincts, they are usually right. And if you find yourself in a situation where you cannot function as an individual/interact with others outside of the relationship/dynamic/lifestyle, there's definitely something wrong.
P.S. The website that this "D/s relationship: Beginners Guide" (their label) is from is based on spicing up your sex life. A quick look around at the BDSM related content found there makes it obvious that their writing/info is based on very basic knowledge and research on the lifestyle, and not any substantial or actual experience. Maybe not the best source ...
3 years ago

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