Having a lovely time chilling out with my bestie last night, it was a lovely night going out and just as i said 'being single is awesome' i well jynxed it.
dancing the night away with my friend was lovely, having some guys come over and put his hands all over me and my ribs causing a panic attack was not... and this my friends is the reality of being a BDSM chick in the real live dating world, consent isnt as explisit in vanilla land.
Me and my friend look after each other and its a good thing too, as a woman going out when you dance for 5 min and say no its automatically like a knee jerk reaction to act like your ego is attached to you ability to pull and for many men i suppose it can be.
It still amazes me how many consider BDSM as lewid and offensive with a splash of non consent when the truth is consent is ALWAYS talked about openly first and agreed or disagreed, its actually the opposit.
Going back to vanilla land can be a really difficult experiance. More so than many might think.
Ribs are a trigger for me and when in BDSM i know they will not be touched unless i say okay first, when in vanilla land you say no once, twice and again and again and again to no avail, they continue regardless as its not taken seriously.
The good thing is this hasnt put me off getting back out there but i wanted to share this experiance to show how difficult it can be.