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Rose's Thorns.

A general pondering.
5 years ago. August 15, 2018 at 1:40 AM

who ever said time heals all fucking lied, i dont care who what or when... its a lie mainly to tell ourselves it will be fine, thats not to say we dont move forward we do. Tonight really fucking hurts. 

I can say it on here but i havent been able to in vanilla land, my last Dom and partner in life was about two years ago now. Many thought he turned into a dick in vanilla land, the truth is he was a lovely man who was having really bad crisis i had to walk before i was hurt and i dont mean metaphorically, there was an acutal knife. I wonder sometimes if im going to hear how he passed away, tonight is a really tough one. Not many understand the dynanamic and bond thats built up. I wouldnt go back as we grew apart but it would be nice to know that he is okay and im not going to hear that he passed away and that is the life of mental masochism... it never goes. 

Even if you do speak up and try and get help, many dont beilve you purely becuase he is a guy x

Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} - I am sorry to hear you are struggling girl. I don't know about the adage time heals all wounds and the truth of that...I think it's more or less eventually the blow lessens as other people come and go through it. That being said...I tend to believe when someone impacted your life to such a significant degree they pop up from your subconscious to your conscious and pay a visit....whether as a welcome guest or an unwanted visitor. I don't know if it's possible to connect with someone near him (but maybe not directly in contact daily) to see how he is doing? Not sure if he does the whole social media thing either. Fuck I don't even know if such a thing would even be healthy for you...we all cope differently I suppose.
As to him being male and so held to a different standard or just not believed...I hate that, that may get in the way of him getting support or help. It's hard for someone who isn't invested emotionally to see anything but the actions before them. Most can't or won't look deeper because they don't really have a reason to. I am glad you got out...glad you did right by you, but in my heart I hope for his and your sake he is ok, safe, and he found a support system to help if he needed it. <3
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - Thanks, i hope so too. Events and people like to pop up every so often, i completely cut all contact as we tried as friends but fell back into a relationship, i know it sounds a cleche but we where friends for a year or so before we dated. I do hope he is okay, even if he looks okay i doubt he is, Doms tend to be deep and have a front as do we all but in vanilla land unfortunately people wouldn't know until its too late, i just hope it never gets to that point, the support systems just don't exist for men. would be nice to think the support is there, i doubt it. xx
5 years ago
Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} - Out of curiosity what kind of support is it that you feel he needs? Is this support available on a professional level?
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - he kept threatening to kill himself and well it got kind of close.
5 years ago
Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} - That’s no bueno. :-( Its been a couple of years... have you used feelers to others to see what he’s been up to? I know people can be closed off but regardless people know people who know people, ya know?
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - No, im happy as i am now (soft of) not interested in knowing him as such just of he is okay, no one else knows they are all clueless anyway. Thank you tho xxx
5 years ago
Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} - Fair enough.
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - as much as it upsets me, i think me being there would likely not help. :/. This was very difficult to understand before i realised im mentally masochistic
5 years ago
Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} - I can completely understand that lady...hence why in my first response I said it may not be. As an outsider we can only give options... but you left for a reason and you’re staying away for one too. Even if you’re masochistic it doesn’t mean you don’t know how to be healthy too. Go with your instinct, it’s usually right. Either way, I’m not judging or thinking anything about this other than just offering options if you wanted. Sometimes it’s not about getting those so much as venting and letting it out. Either way I wanted you to know someone heard you and being a maso herself, gets it even if I haven’t been in that precise situation. 💖
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - Thanks maga, its hard knowing which bits the masochist sometimes.
5 years ago
Bunnie - 🤗
5 years ago
justu​(switch male) - i know we have chatted about mental masochist before and was interesting...I learned a new one the other night..The "emotional masochist" and i think that is one i don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole..
5 years ago
rosethorn​(sub female) - I get why but if there is awareness I suppose that can help x
5 years ago
justu​(switch male) - yes agree, awareness and understanding oneself is a good thing...Some of the signs of being a emotional maso to me is the bs hitting the fan...For example one sign is if you listen to sad song..I was like wtf I like some of those top hits. I use to have a shrink friend through a sport I played and did he have problems...I felt bad for the ones that seeked his help...But he meant wellness so I liked him..
5 years ago

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