Hello Cage friends,
Lately I have found myself choosing to take time for myself. I have not been desiring bringing my walk into the public life. I have been stepping away choosing not to actively read blogs (with a few exceptions) and spend my time focused on what needs to be resolved and worked towards in my life.
Good things abound.
Life has radically shifted. It has been very good to understand parts of who I am and being able to share that with someone tangible in my life. Not only to be able to sit down and spend 1 on 1 time with someone who was not a part of my life for multiple years, but beyond Covid to get close to being back with those who matter in our world.
The part that made me especially proud was being able to express my interests and ideals to someone in my family. Not only that I could explain my path and reach into the different mindsets that I have developed into my style of D/s and M/s. I could simply explain my long term goals, my Will in regards to where Im walking and how I choose to get there.
Part of this weekend (technically apart of my vacation) really for the first time in my relationship I left my home and travelled to visit my sister to help my family build a deck for her property. We've been working for 2 days and should have it taken care of tomorrow before we head home. While I'm away I havent had the same opportunities and it has been difficult to follow through with an intention that I set with my slave. Although I have managed to keep it thus far, there has been some tough moments to exist in. Its not easy when the P/person that makes life comfortable and relaxing and better in everyway isnt really around. So its been challenging for my slave. But even this bit of distance helps foster trust and gives some freedom to creation and inspiration for O/our journey forward. I have been blessed with good fortune that I would be able to learn and grow. To create more concrete ideas of how I want to experience life, and how I want my girl to experience life.
It is time to share the fact that W/we have concrete plans to meet in person. W/we have set a date, a time, a location, and while W/we still have months away before W/we will connect for the first time. The countdown is on, its real, it exists and one day shortly there will be a moment where I can experience a scene beyond a camera screen.
So to those ends, I do desire to bring up the point about goals. Making short term, medium term, and long term goals.
I have goals I try to accomplish daily. This is the simple but sometimes exhausting everyday cycle. For me that exists with attempting to keep up with my animals, my housework, being hygienic, taking care of dishes and laundry. Exercising my mind and body. Speaking with my girl and having fantastic conversations that can distort time and vanish hours without realizing it. Its about following the daily routines that matter to U/us. I have things that I have created as medium and long term goals and I set daily tasks around accomplishing those goals which have longer completion times.
For instance, setting a goal about building strength such that I may be able to lift my girl. To those ends, setting a specific goal of achieving a free standing hand stand push up. So each day I exercise, I focus on calisthenics routines that are working towards achieving that. Its about building a mastery in the areas of my life that are important to me. Whether someone else sees value in them is kind of secondary because these are things that I am passionate about. I get excited when I try to share and explain what my understanding of these things are. But I'm still learning little by little. Which is why I've adopted the mantra of " Failure today, leads to success tomorrow". It is about the parts of who we are that take patience to grow. Its about the respect for a craft that takes time to become a Master. Its the idea that what I accomplish today will be the stepping stone for my progress tomorrow. If I dont level everything out, if the proper care isnt taken to ensure everything is square, the next step of the project becomes more difficult because you are fighting with the mistakes of yesterday. Going slowly, ensuring you do the best you can on each step, so that you are most adequately prepared for the next stage, the next rebirth, the next iteration of what needs to happen. That is the essence of what it means for me "Failure today, leads to success tomorrow".
Now there are concrete plans to meet and I finally have a chance to plan, orchestrate, organize and form my scenes that I want to begin walking and first experience next to my girl. The question of what do I want her to experience resounds so much louder in my head because I can see a time and space and place where this will actually happen. So what items and equipment will I require? What skills should I focus on with the remaining time I have to gain competency in the areas I need to play in? What is essential information? Where should I focus my learning such that I am capable of delivering on each promise and intention Ive made to her? Where is it that I am led to show her experience beyond trauma? How will I work to move through different phases of life and turn triggers into moments that simply take silent acceptance rather than explosive reactivity? Which triggers will I focus on? How will I approach each tender and sensitive area? What methods and means will I require and how will I choose to navigate these spaces and yet create the essence of safety underlying it all? What ways can I reinforce her security? What ways will build trust? How do we take this opportunity to deepen our bond and move into a much more real and serious place?
I dont have the answers to these questions but I'm working through them. I'm finding answers in different spaces. I'm experiencing new things and taking those lessons to heart to better understand where I may ask my slave to walk for me. The fun part is when days of working on different aspects of life suddenly collapse into a single point where it all lines up with the concept youve been developing, the experience you just received, the daily work youve been doing, and you take an already amazing concept and add a layer to help create something more intricate, more intentional and very hopefully more rewarding in both short and long term. Although its all still a work in progress and will be until the day of the scene. After that it becomes a chapter in the book of O/our experience. Next time W/we pick up that particular book we can take the next chapter which may evolve given our past experience. Or I may choose to open a new book and develop a different narrative based on different characters to focus on a different part of the soul. But once W/we write a chapter then W/we simply learn from that experience and expand and evolve the next segment to reflect what W/we've learned and how W/we have developed O/our skillsets. Taking each story a little farther once W/we have gained essential experience to truly level up O/our understanding and execution.
Needless to say life is good, and there is so much hope and excitement for the future. It will all take time but I'm going to do my work on who I am. I'm going to do my best everyday to work hard at what matters to me. Thats all I am capable of doing, but I will excel. I will Master all of that which I set in front of me.
Thank you for choosing to read my words tonight, I hope that looking into my journey you find insight into your own way forward.
