We are driving...and driving. We are headed to get his “things” that are in a storage. This trip will bring all of our “things” together! I’m so excited...not only to be able be with him alone for the next couple of days...but to be one step closer to mine/yours becoming ours.
Our wild romance has been crazy...we knew basically from first time we were together that we wanted to be each other’s partner...initially it was sex partners...but nevertheless partners. By the third time we were together we knew we wanted to be in our dom/sub relationship. Now we are trying to maneuver our lives and careers so I can be with him full time...to serve him and love him 24/7.
I am so excited about this I can’t stand it!! But sometimes its hard to read him...I’m very open with my feelings. I tell him everything (I still am working on talking when I’m mad/hurt...cause I shut down). He will tell me what he needs to...but to be open with the way he feels or concerns he has....that is few and far between. Why? Is it me? No no...i know it’s not...he keeps tell that this is the way he is....i wonder though if that’s always the truth? Not that I think he is lying...but maybe he’s afraid of giving me the truth.
Maybe we are the same...maybe we have the same fears. Maybe my fear of not being good enough and him figuring that out and leaving and wanting to be validated and touched by him constantly matches an opposite fear of his. I have no idea what that could be....but what if??
I don’t think I should be left to my own thoughts sometimes. I either want to be in his arms where I can feel how he cares about me...or I’m fighting the thoughts in my head! Why??
I don’t have a single doubt in my head about him and the life i want with him. Not one...i am so ready to be 100% his and serve him on s daily basis....so why do I worry??? Maybe because I have never loved someone like him...maybe because I have to give it all up him...maybe because this is the part of learning how to be truly submissive that is hard!!! I just don’t want to fail him like the last one did....
There must be something in the air...with all these thoughts going through my head...and the nervousness of losing him...I’ve had ex-boyfriends and guys that were interested in me texting me over the last 48 hours...like why??? Don’t you people know that i have a Master and i do t want him to think I am doing anything wrong!!! Ugh....
With the drama in his life...I just want ours to be amazing. Better than he ever dreamed!!
I can’t wait unti we get where we are going so he can take me in his arms and hold me. This immediately makes all the bad thoughts go away....not mention the amazing orgasms that goes with it!
until tomorrow...
