Online now
Online now

Why is it so hard to find a dom who wants a newbie sub.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat}
5 years ago • Jan 27, 2019
Justme26 wrote:
Online dating simply does not work for men. I am not saying that it does for women but there are about five men to one women on most sites. You need to get out in the world (so do I) start with local munches.

Why does your page say that you are a "daddy and on this page you seem to be a sub?


This is definitely not true. Not how you say it at least. It sounds like its impossible this way.

My husband met me online and now we are happily married and living together.

Its not easy but it does work. Online/LDR isnt for everyone but it can happen and be successful. Just take a a different kind of mentality Haha.

~~~

Thst said -

You need to be patient, if you're looking for something more than just play. What I always try to emphasize to people looking for relationships, is to just... Stop looking. Focus on making yourself the best person you can be, and someone worth starting a conversation with will come along.

Not to say you shouldn't try at all, but in interacting with people, your intent shouldn't immediately be in dating someone- especially if you're trying to find a woman, that scares most off. Not all, but most. Women are harassed more often online so when someone comes off strong as being interested in dating us, it kills interest. Not to keep talking about myself but I had someone ask me out on a different site and /then/ try to be friends with me after I said no. I gave him a chance but he was too pushy for me so we dont talk anymore. My husband became my friend first, and when I turned him down a few months later because I was nervous about my first relationship being long distance, he told me he would wait for me if I ever changed my mind but that he was fine just being friends. And he was. Never pushed me after that, and next thing I knew I was in love with him Haha.

Let things happen naturally. It's honestly better to be alone than to be in a shit relationship as hard as that can be to believe.

If you're really new, definitely reach out to others who are willing to help, to try and learn what you can. Google, find books (amazon is good for that especially with a kindle app), if you have a local scene and see comfortable with it then go to munches, people are often willing to help out there from what I have heard.

But, dont count on online only for relationships either. It can work out, like in my case, but you'll increase your chances by being active in your community- kink and vanilla.

Good luck out there! And I know I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum as you, being a Domme haha, but if you have questions or want advice, I can try to help. Just be courteous of what's on my profile and we'll be fine. icon_smile.gif
kesou​(sub male){Collared}
5 years ago • Jan 30, 2019
kesou​(sub male){Collared} • Jan 30, 2019
In my opinion, I think the concept itself is a bit of an issue for people.

Generally speaking, the conventional roles of men and women in society follow dominant and submissive roles, respectively. Subverting these roles can be seen as taboo, and thus discourage people from disclosing their preference, and in some cases an individual may not even consider those roles as options.

Speaking from personal experience, there was a long time where I was ashamed of my preference of being submissive. The whole cliché "men are supposed to be the strong leaders, and they are the head of the house" was pretty ingrained in me, and as a result I felt as though there was something wrong with me. It took some real work to step out of my comfort zone and start to be more honest about my desires. Shockingly, that was also when I began to feel more satisfied.

I can't speak for the whole domme situation, but I also will have to say that finding a dominant female is quite the task.

However, it's not impossible. I'm still holding out hope!
Cilantro​(dom male)
5 years ago • Jan 31, 2019
Cilantro​(dom male) • Jan 31, 2019
It really seems a matter of personal taste, but since I'm also new to the scene, I'd prefer someone relatively new as well.
femaledominatrix
4 years ago • Apr 13, 2019

Interested

femaledominatrix • Apr 13, 2019
Hi I am very intrigued and interested in your profile, without a doubt. I can’t message you because I do not have premium. So I am commenting here instead. Everything in your profile interests me and I feel as if it matches with what I am looking for. Find a way to message me, if you are at all interested.

kesou wrote:
In my opinion, I think the concept itself is a bit of an issue for people.

Generally speaking, the conventional roles of men and women in society follow dominant and submissive roles, respectively. Subverting these roles can be seen as taboo, and thus discourage people from disclosing their preference, and in some cases an individual may not even consider those roles as options.

Speaking from personal experience, there was a long time where I was ashamed of my preference of being submissive. The whole cliché "men are supposed to be the strong leaders, and they are the head of the house" was pretty ingrained in me, and as a result I felt as though there was something wrong with me. It took some real work to step out of my comfort zone and start to be more honest about my desires. Shockingly, that was also when I began to feel more satisfied.

I can't speak for the whole domme situation, but I also will have to say that finding a dominant female is quite the task.

However, it's not impossible. I'm still holding out hope!
Jack in the box
4 years ago • Jun 30, 2019
Jack in the box • Jun 30, 2019
[/quote] - being a kinky twisted fuck is not something one advertises to the "normal" world.[/quote]
Im about to - tried everything else . . .
Darkmistress1213​(dom female)
4 years ago • Jun 30, 2019
I want submissive boyfriend who wants me for me and then me for dominant, and not to be obsessed with sex or extreme chastity. I just keeping getting guy who just want someone to push them around, but they don't care about the relationship aspect of it.
No Body​(dom male)
4 years ago • Jun 30, 2019
No Body​(dom male) • Jun 30, 2019
Well patience is a virtue not everyone has or wants but expects from everyone else. I have been married twice and was 54 when I met the woman I will end my life with. Never have I been so loved. I had to wait and become the man she needed before she came into my life. I know your wanting and needing someone but ask yourself will you take just anyone or are you looking for the right one? The right one will come along but you may have to meet a few wrong ones to get to know who the right one is. We all met the wrong one and when we found the right one all the wrongs just made it so much sweeter. Life is not about searching and exploring. Yes some get lucky and find it right at the start but it is a loto shot that they do. Have a little patience and just keep looking. You will find them in time.