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Your dynamic of bdsm

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MasterBear​(other butch)
6 months ago • Fri 08 Feb 2019 05:31:41 PM IST
MasterBear​(other butch) • Fri 08 Feb 2019 05:31:41 PM IST
I love puppy play.

It is not sexual for me.

But as I have a few bio dogs of my own puppy play is definately a joy.

As far as nostalgia for the "good old days" FUCK TO THE NO.

I like having the legal right to marry.
I like not being forced into a hetero normative life.
I like that my love isnt required by law to submit to every white person.
I like having the right to vote.
I like that "spousal rape" is ILLEGAL
I like NOT being thrown in jail because I am not wearing two female items.

I could go on. But I feel my point is made.
nawazakana​(sub female)
6 months ago • Fri 08 Feb 2019 05:57:39 PM IST
nawazakana​(sub female) • Fri 08 Feb 2019 05:57:39 PM IST

I wasn't there "back in the good old days", so I can't compare the scenes, but it sounds like you're making a sweeping generalization that all change to the community are bad. When I read your message, I felt like you were being kink-shaming of poly people and caretaker/little dynamics. The lifestyle you described as correct does not work for everyone, and to some it would be just as confining and unfulfilling as a vanilla relationship would be.

I understand that there are people who developed a shallow interest in kink after watching 50 Shades, people who don't understand the values or really anything about what we do. But a lot of these people are just new and ignorant. Should we not be happy that through the internet we have the ability to better educate them, and that we have a wider reach to those who may not have known about this lifestyle?
just james​(dom male)
6 months ago • Mon 11 Feb 2019 09:23:10 AM IST
just james​(dom male) • Mon 11 Feb 2019 09:23:10 AM IST
Am all for the independence of woman, them working, all of that. I was just saying that woman had been more faithful and men treated woman better back in those days. Cultures had been respected.
I hired this guy that kept saying how good he was at body work and paint, bragged about tech school etc. After a 2 month ground up restoration on a copperhead orange pearl paint job, we began assembly. He scratched the hell out of the truck and chipped the paint. Fired him, had to buy another gallon of 1200 dollar paint and repaint the entire truck.
Hired another guy, all he said was, he painted a car once. Quiet, skilled, humble, and the best body and paint man I have ever seen.
Two people. One claiming to be something he is not, the other is by his actions. That is what I meant in my first post regarding those that pollute and distort and claim to be something they are not and harm those seeking the real.
We all have a different view, all roads may lead to a different path yet all stem from the same point with the same tools so to speak. I grew up and learned in a different time that is all.
I recall the days when if a guy got his right ear pierced, he was straight. The left, he was gay. Walked into Walmart the other day and saw a guy that had his head shaved. Piercings all over his face, ink, and earing hoops the size of a wrist bracelet.
I see times have changed in so many ways and I have to adapt. What I have a problem with is those that claim to be something they are not to prey on the ones that do not know the truth and get harmed from it. Shame we do not have something in place to oversea and help those true to the life.
Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
6 months ago • Mon 11 Feb 2019 01:25:05 PM IST
Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Mon 11 Feb 2019 01:25:05 PM IST
MasterRaith wrote:
Am all for the independence of woman, them working, all of that. I was just saying that woman had been more faithful and men treated woman better back in those days. Cultures had been respected.

You've provided no evidence or examples to back up that statement. The previous four posters provided ample evidence to the contrary. I submit that things were not as you perceive them.
Dark Fox​(dom female){Wolfy13}
6 months ago • Mon 11 Feb 2019 04:14:53 PM IST
Dark Fox​(dom female){Wolfy13} • Mon 11 Feb 2019 04:14:53 PM IST
I'm probably a very vanilla Dominant haha. Our relationship is pretty... Tame, I guess?

My love and I don't use rules/punishments - they seem silly and useless to us (Not to say it doesn't work! We just can't take it seriously for ourselves, so obviously, it won't work for us). The only "rules" are what is and isn't okay for our relationship. The "punishments" are the consequences of our actions. And they work for /me/ as well as for him. One of us cheats? We have to deal with the broken trust and however long it takes to repair the damage. He goes out without talking to me? He's going to have to deal with my being really upset, probably freaking out as I had no idea where he was, and the hurt mood I'll be in for a day or so. I could go on but I'm sure you get the picture haha.

What makes me want to be dominant? I like having control. I like being the one to make decisions and plans. I get /so/ anxious if I don't know /every/ detail of something. If I'm not included in the plan-making. We used to fight often about him making plans without talking to me, because I would be making plans and he would schedule something else when I had been working on stuff. He didn't /want/ to, when we were vanilla, but he did because he thought he had to. Now that I'm in charge, that pretty much never happens. Only when work is involved will he make plans without me, but that's because, well, it's work. I can't fight that haha. I love being able to know everything about my love, and work it into our plans. To know what makes him tick, and surprise him with something he likes, or do a specific something in bed to make him moan for me, to take the weight of planning off of his shoulders. He has to be in charge for so much in most other aspects of his life - I can allow him to relax by making it so he doesn't have to do that at home. Just be ready to support whatever is going on. Being able to encourage him, make him happy, help him to better himself... That makes me the happiest woman in the world.

Doing it in public? Of course. But unless my love wears his collar, no one notices. He's very much a service sub, so most of the time it's things like getting me food or drinks at a party, grabbing my bag for me if I set it down far away from myself, he loves being able to make me tea in the morning and if he could he would be the cute little housewife cleaning and cooking while I make the money haha. (My goal one day! But, he has a career, I just have a job. So... It's a far off goal x.x). I've started trying to order for him when we go out, trying to take the lead in things. He will refer to me if someone asks us to do something with them, or to make plans. Usually, no one bats an eye or gives a second thought to it. Only time people actually notice, "Hey, their relationship is different," is when they notice his collar. It gets us mixed responses but... Fuck the people who laugh. Not their relationship, so why should they care? I'm not hurting him (Unless he consents of course 😉 Haha), just move on.

We simply just... Live BDSM. Our relationship is essentially 24/7. Never is there a moment where I'm not the Domme and he isn't the sub. But that's not to say he's never just relaxing or I'm always bossing him around. It's just that, he will probably never decide something for us, unless perhaps I'm really sick or out of it and I need a mental day to relax. Even with friends and family we live this way. But, we try not to shove it in everyone's faces either. I have no desire to be called by a title (He does so on here for a bit more formality but that's about it), so he doesn't go around calling me "Mistress" in front of people. He doesn't kneel on the floor and I don't walk him around on leash. But I'm not going to stop making decisions just because others are around. He's not going to stop taking care of things for me. No real reason to.
ZaraMiami​(sub female){uncollared}
6 months ago • Mon 11 Feb 2019 04:34:20 PM IST
ZaraMiami​(sub female){uncollared} • Mon 11 Feb 2019 04:34:20 PM IST
MasterRaith wrote:
I submit that things were not as you perceive them.

@Fudbar- THANK YOU! You have saved me from the side of me that has wanted to go off on this rant since his first post.
I was raised in the lifestyle, the scene, whatever you want to call it. I was sheltered from much of it, for many years, but I was at the Vault in NYC (they closed in 1987. I was born in 1970 - you do the math), and also at innumerable clubs and parties in Europe, as were a number of other children of humans who engaged in a not terribly traditional relationship model. It's absolute shyte to say that things were not all over the place then, as they are now. I was never left unsupervised, and some of the best babysitter in the world were leatherbois. There was no internet in widespread use to publicize the antics of the fringe and extreme, as if this is "all there is", or even "the best of it", as there is now, and the majority of the people in the scene, or lifestyle, or whatever your preferred verbiage is, were just as absolutely publicly vanilla as they are now. The only difference I see is that if your neighbor sees something, they are less likely to call the pastor of the local church and refuse to let their kids play with yours anymore... Closets are great places for clothes, and sometimes wayward ballerinas....
LittleLolitaMae​(sub female){Collared}
6 months ago • Thu 14 Feb 2019 02:39:13 AM IST
LittleLolitaMae​(sub female){Collared} • Thu 14 Feb 2019 02:39:13 AM IST
ZaraMiami wrote:
What I love about the D/s dynamic, when I am fully engaged in it?
(I am not currently, and my answer might sound very "vanilla")
I don't know that I "want to be" so submissive - it is a part of the very fiber of my being, and I really don't know anything else. I grew up safe and protected, and free to be soft and loving, trusting and submissive. It's gotten me in trouble, and it's gotten me hurt, but I am still just so optimistic! (I completely wish I was kidding).
I enjoy the way we love and care for one another - the way we communicate so openly and clearly that any choice either of us makes can be trusted to represent the best interests of our life together - For example, if He bought theater tickets, or a car - he considered that I do a lot of city driving, and need to park it, and also that I really, really, love opera - whether he hates it or not. I bought green beans instead of Brussels sprouts today, because, even roasted, he hates little cabbages. Generally, a superhero movie, or broccoli is a sane and consensual middle ground.
I love knowing that if he runs into me while I am out on errands or whatever, he will be pleased with what I am wearing, how I am behaving - the sight of me will give him some warm fuzzies. I love knowing that he's got my back, and he's handling the big picture, which allows me to focus on the little details. He provides a house, and I make it our home. I love that he feels he can invite people for dinner, or accept an invitation, and know I will gracefully accommodate that. He knows I am not going to accept without "Running it by him".
I have the freedom to be exactly who I am, and he has the freedom to be exactly who he is, and we have a dynamic that likely harkens back to "the good old days", which likely were no better than they are today. But, I get to wear stockings, and garters, and button boots and corsets if I feel like it, and he gets to unwrap a gift every day, in me. My first "job skill" is to be pleasing to him. The first item on his "Watch" is me. If he prefers that I meet him at the door, on my knees, with a drink in hand, that's a small thing, really. He considers my preferences when giving rewards, and knows my limits, so a correction is just that, rather than an outright punishment.
He's not going to break me, and I am not going to buck him.
I may get a little bratty, he may speak harshly on occasion, but we both know that the value of a good girl spanking far outweighs that of a bad girl spanking, and we live accordingly.
I face the world knowing that whatever happens, I am safe to be myself. He does the same. At the end of the day, we care for each other in a way that is absolutely transcendent of the outside world and what they think or do. We have whatever rituals or protocols that we have established that allow us to end the day, and be "home" together, wherever that is.
Sexually, I know he is going to push me. I know I am going to love it. I know we will explore. I also know he is never going to break me. I'm his favorite and best toy ever, and he is the absolutely best ever at owning me. He knows I am going to try. I'm always going to do my best. I'm going to obey, and honor, and love, and he is going to honor and love, and give well thought out directions.
It's maybe a little different when you never "snap out of it", but it's glorious if you don't have to.

This sounds just like me and master! Except I dont have the corsets and stuff yet! I'm so happy for you!^_^
LittleLolitaMae​(sub female){Collared}
6 months ago • Thu 14 Feb 2019 02:49:08 AM IST
LittleLolitaMae​(sub female){Collared} • Thu 14 Feb 2019 02:49:08 AM IST
My Daddy/Master/God/Captor- he holds many titles & roles- and I kind of have various dynamics that we switch from and they overlap depending on other life factors. But we are
Daddy and kitten/little
Owner of a dolly/sextoy
Trainer & bimbo
Master and captive slave
God and disciple
Basically I try my best to be everything he wants, sometimes he wants a brainless toy, sometimes he wants a feisty kitten.