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Nudes for dudes?

Bone​(sub male){Undeservin}
3 years ago • May 29, 2019

Re: Nudes for dudes?

KinkyLittleMommyAce wrote:
Come on, it's happened. Many of us have been on the asking, being asked, giving, and/or receiving side of things at least once. But the experience is different for everyone, hence this post.

I had a recent interaction with a decent young man who wanted to help train me online to be a better switch. It sounded awesome, and I wanted to do it, but as an initial interaction for training me to be a better sub (slave), he wanted me to send him nude pictures to "get over that hurdle." I know some people have no issues doing this, but for me, this digs in and brings up PTSD from traumatic experiences I've had (I experience flashbacks, nausea, uncontrollable shaking, dread, self-hate, and usually crying).

So now I ask, is it common in online BDSM relationships to show yourself in that way (granted, he was going the degradation rout, but still. An initial request?)? How often does this happen? How far into the relationship does this usually happen? Am I making too big of a deal out of this? I just can't stop thinking about it. Is this normal?

Thanks
Bone​(sub male){Undeservin}
3 years ago • May 30, 2019
Hi
You are definitely right. Because in online relationships you never know who you are dealing with and you need to trust that the one you talk to is really the one you even see on the picture you receive, pictures can be used by others and it’s not always the one you are talking too, besides I have experienced here on the site a dom female have contacted me and she made me believe that she is serious and she took me out to other chat forms and she asked me to write an agreement And sign it after that she ordered me to get naked and kneel down and hold the agreement and send her pictures like this and as I did she started ordering me to send her high amounts of money And If I tried to refuse she said right away that she Will post my nude pictures on social networks so I sent a few times until I saw it’s not ending then I filed a report in the bank And then I told her that I am taking a lawyer and get her then she desapeard but I got her on my neck for a long time so please all friends here male or female be careful before you send any undressed pictures
dollMaker​(dom male)
3 years ago • May 30, 2019
dollMaker​(dom male) • May 30, 2019
@Bone you should pass on whatever details you can about this person to Cage admin so they can look out for them. What was done to you is a crime, so law enforcement could, should be got involved.

Well online that is text only, yes its true you never know, but one way of confirming identity, gender is to do a quick Skype or KIK call with video and audio. Totally vanilla, and if you have been talking for awhile go over some things they should recall, just to check its the same person, though involving others to aid a scam isnt that likely unless its an organised crime scam. Individual scammers are unlikely to involve others to give them an identity or gender not theirs, but while unlikely, its not unheard of.

Another quick way to confirm gender at least, for the video shy, is write a short poem or prose, and get them to directly after you have sent it to them to record and upload an audio to here. Five minutes is plenty to do that. If they refuse or say they cant do it quickly that to me is a red flag. Not full proof but again unless its organised crime scammers its unlikely they will ask someone to do it for them. Setting a short time scale to do it is to make it harder for them to involve another person, as is writing the poem, or prose which makes it impossible to use another recording.

Certainly before engaging in video, or photo play of a compromising nature trust really does have to be established, because once its out there it could end up who knows where, or being used to blackmail. It should be pointed out that distributing photos or videos without consent, during or after a relationship/ involvement, is a serious crime in many countries now, so if someone does do this, involve law enforcement whether you are male or female, other or anyside of the slash and yes I have heard of subs doing this to tops, doms as well, so doms beware subs demanding compromising photos of you too.
thirstyharley​(dom male)
3 years ago • May 30, 2019
thirstyharley​(dom male) • May 30, 2019
for someone to get such severe ptsd, youre definitely in the right to refuse nudes for your dom. Youd need to have a VERY serious emotional connection with a dom before you should even consider it. Nudes in general are a great way to keep the sexual tension high, but theyre not required.
Of course, its every doms wish to slowly push their subs limits as high as they can, and if a sub has a hangup with sending nudes, most doms are gonna want to work their subs way up to a more comfortable place with that.
AllyKitten​(sub female){GreatShado}
3 years ago • May 30, 2019

Patience

I feel as though your domme might be rushing. Training requires time and patience. Communication is also a huge part. If you are uncomfortable, and he understands, maybe try some pictures that aren't nudes but still a little revealing and see how that goes. It's not getting over the hurdle, but it's a step.
I also feel like if he's ignoring your mental health for his pleasure, he doesn't sound like a good domme.
Just make sure your needs are met and if it doesn't work out, that's okay too.
Just Jessy​(switch gender queer){Owned}
3 years ago • Jun 10, 2019
Thank you guys for all the positive and helpful responses! I apologize for not responding to each of you individually, but I figured this was better than nothing. I'm glad to see that I am not the only one who has fallen into this trap (not glad that you suffered, just glad I'm not alone and that there are people who understand). I will definitely be careful, and I hope all of you guys (and gals, and gender nonconforming individuals) will also be careful! Have a safe and excellent day my kinky friends.
Svettttty
2 years ago • Apr 27, 2020

Hey!

Svettttty • Apr 27, 2020
Can we chat
House Talion​(dom male)
2 years ago • Apr 27, 2020
House Talion​(dom male) • Apr 27, 2020
I've slowly gotten my slave to go from totally nervous to practicly begging to masturbate for me during face time. It's all done so she is ready and completely comfortable being naked with me.

Your story is different. Even without the PTSD, it might not be your thing. Inevitably if you cant take nude picts for yourslef, youd never be on showingnthembto others and theres nothing wrong with that.