Changing nicknames

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Jun 3, 2019

"Oddly though, the longer it remains, the more strange my vanilla name becomes to me... sometimes I double take when someone calls me by my actual name because it just doesn’t seem to fit as well anymore, if that makes sense.[/quote]

M calls me djinni, as it sounds like a vanilla name (pronounced Jeannie). He so rarely uses my given name and the few times He has it freaked me out. As we are working towards 24/7 i've worked on saying His given name so as not to slip up around friends & family, but we are definitely going to have to come up with a valid story about my name...lol.

Lossofalme • Jun 3, 2019

Names can be so tricky!

My actual, legal, name is one that is almost exclusively given to me and, well... I am no man. I have grown to love my name, but it's still frustrating to know that some pretty significant assumptions are being made based on a name I had no roll in picking (it was worse when I worked in IT, I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a room and interdicted myself only to get that "omg you're a girl!" reaction)

Online... My current avatar/user name was given to me a long time ago, and it's been "me" for over twenty years now so I really can't imagine changing it. That said, if my avatar/user name was preventing me from meeting people, or creating an automatic negative response, or suddenly became associated with something horrible... I'd change it! Or at least, thank the person who had brought the possible problem to my attention and explain why my connection to the name was stronger than that concern.

It's too bad this individual didn't at least listen and respond politely. That says a lot more about them than their name every could, I'm sure.

(I had a friend who worked as a dog groomer. They joined an internet forum with the user name "PuppyFluffer" and they could not, for the life of them, figure out why they were getting such... colorful... personal messages! Once I found out what user name was I laughed myself silly, embarrassed the hell out of them when I explained what their name "meant" in some circles, and helped them pick a name that was more in line with what they /actually/ meant to say. Lol)

Fate • Jun 3, 2019

I’m with Dollmaker on this one. You took time and care to offer sage advice. Shame the receiver didn’t appreciate the efforts. A Dom having a sub-ish name-well, if I’d discovered that, it would have immediately thrown up red repelling flags because it reeks of deceit.

Hopefully the person will reconsider his stance and come to his senses and realize you were not attacking but genuinely trying to help. I made plenty of mistakes being new and still do. The early advice, I still cherish to this day.

Interesting discussion you have generated here. I find it intriguing the many reasons people choose to name-change or not.


Meanwhile, please don’t stop dispensing advice because of one person. You are a tremendous asset to this community, your wisdom, wit and words sublime, and I feel extraordinarily blessed to be able to also call you my friend.

Switchy smooches,

Fate

sweet november​(sub female) • Jun 3, 2019

Seriously leave this person alone. Nobody was there during the conversation.

Fate • Jun 3, 2019

Hi shawntel. If your comment is directed at me, let me know what it was that I said that came across as uncaring. I admit asshole was a little harsh so I edited that out. Thanks for speaking up.

I know Ing personally and am fairly certain, am positive actually, that she had only the person’s best interest at heart. Same goes with me.

This is a forum, which means it’s a space meant to generate discussion on topics posed. I don’t believe anyone is in this case trying to use it as a means to gossip about or slam anyone.

I think Ing asked for thoughts in name changing because she sincerely wants to know.

I like that you’re willing to take up for someone who you perceive may be being cyber bullied. That’s great. I don’t believe that’s the intent here though.

Kind regards,
Fate

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female){OWNED} • Jun 3, 2019

We have to remember no matter what a public forum like this is open discussion. We come here to gain knowledge from those with experience. To get advice no matter how hard it is to hear. We seek answers. Know we don't know both sides of conversations but what I see is someone needing answers.
@doll and Fate as well as Bunnie thank you for explaining things so clearly. I've come to the forum many times not having any idea about things in the lifestyle. Bunnie you and doll have always had good perspectives. I know this comment may be off from the forum. I wanted to voice in a public the private conversation is no longer when you ask for help.

Fate • Jun 3, 2019

I too always learn from dollmaker and Bunnie’s blogs and posts. Chat even. I love gleaning from them and other wise souls who bless us with their presence here in the community.

sweet november​(sub female) • Jun 3, 2019

My comment, is in general, that I've seen many times people just leave the Cage after a forum discussion.

Listen, as I was wisely told in a forum I posted that both sides needed to be heard, I agree. So I really feel for the person, if he is still here on the cage, if he has read this post.


There are how many members?

A lot. And a couple of the outspoken members I don't think have peoples interest at heart. It is more of a posturing.


No need to call names and I'm Glad someone edited the name out. Heck, we don't even know what the individuals profile name was to even "judge" and I don't want to know. I think that's against the rules anyway, thank goodness.

Ithe name may have been fine to me or someone else.
The point is , please stop pushing people out of this community.
They don't feel welcome by this.

And a personal message about their name probably would have been the wisest choice as many Doms tend to be very prideful... that's no secret.

SoaringFree​(sub female){SCD} • Jun 3, 2019

I was very much in the "closet" when I first came here. Being the ClosetSub seemed very appropriate. A few months later I came out strong so then with the help of some friends here, SoaringFree came about. It suits my personality very well.

Curlyniccia{Protected} • Aug 19, 2019

From experience predators tend to change nicknames to remain undiscovered and to carry on with their predatory ways undetected.
Its a way for them to hurt and further abuse women.
Longer for them to remain undetected.
To be able to hurt others more remaining under the radar.
We've seen it alot in here.
I'd be very suspicious of a Dom who did change their nickname, especially if they did not own up to the fact.
Just my two pence worth
X