Physical Attraction~

Samsea​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2019

Thank you.... it all takes time and I find that the more time that I take getting to know someone, the more in tune we become in messaging.
A carless word or a miss typed comment, (i e... Our instead of Your) in a sentence can cause anxiety, but if you have both travelled a road. You have the confidence to ask...did you really mean that!!!
Take care..
Sam

Physical Attraction~Beauty is subjective.

Ilmare​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Sep 29, 2019

It is what is in your mind's eye - which you have complete control over. This takes discipline.

Over the course of your life, you have been informed by media, family, and peers what is beautiful. Whether it is basic opinion sharing or a deterrence out of fear or jealousy, We are all influenced by these factors. This does not mean you do not form your own opinion. Over time you acquire a preference. No one is born loving beer, they acquire a taste for it over time and continual exposure. The question is how expansive is your view of beauty? Can you find beauty in something someone else considers not beautiful?

This person may be all that you could have hoped for minus one quality with an unimaginable bond. Satiating. Enduring. The other half of that coin is the one you find beautiful, may not provide that experience that is unfulfilling. I would never suggest not to follow your heart or your own preference.

I would only suggest you take a power check on your beliefs to make sure they are you own.

- ill

Wiseonthree​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2019

We all have our unicorns, our perfect Dom/sub that will forever allude us. Trying to find physical attraction in someone that you are going to have a dynamic with isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sit back and rate the things you want from your Dom, put it in order of importance. If physical attraction is one of your biggest things, then you might be having a rough time finding someone. This isn't always a bad thing, mind you.

It's important to take your time finding someone, only compromise when and if you are comfortable doing so.

Zedland​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2019

@Teddy, unfortunately this is one of those stories were the ending is better left a mystery. If it is unwritten then your imagination could go wild and suggest we had a whirlwind romance one step ahead of her controlling father, ending in a dramatic escape on a stolen yacht and a mad dash for Gibraltar. In reality though we split a plate of some local goat thing and commiserated about the heat.

@AandO, I would respectfully disagree. As my VP (68 y/o) and his wife of 20 years (38 y/o) prove you can have a healthy long lasting relationship built on nothing but physical attractiveness and a substantial bank account.

I would also submit that putting 'a face to a name' is an important part of getting to know someone. For if no other reason than a picture is worth a thousand words in providing insight into someone. How are they dress, what expression do they chose, is it a polished shot, is there pose carefully sculpted to highlight/minimize something, do they face the camera with confidence or do they demur? A thousand insights and questions just waiting to be broken down. But that is a personal thing.

@Debz, I would say it is far harder to lie in person. There is a reason that forcing someone to look you in the eye when answering questions is brutally effective. Also much harder to catfish in person, unless you have a budget for actors.

Debz​(sub female){Barnaby} • Sep 29, 2019

@zedland I can understand why you have written that. I did fail to mention that during the course of getting to know a person online first, that at some point you will both swop photos long before you decide to meet. So obviously if you travel to meet them and they dont closely resemble the photo, then that will tell you all you need to know. And usually you also video chat with them prior to meeting if its possible.

Based on my one and only experience, I got to know my dom online and we both connected very fast and photos were exchanged after a reasonable amount of time. When we met, he was dressed as he does when he is working, so he reminded me of compo from last of the summer wine but I still felt the connection when our eyes met at the train station so physical appearance doesnt matter to me.

Zedland​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2019

@Debz,

I believe the point you are driving at is that in a long form online relationship it is possible to come to deeply understand one another. That the process of putting emotion, thought and passion into written words inexorably flavors them with the essence of the person. Therefore it is possible to build an attraction to the person based purely on their "inner self."

While this may be a departure from the topic of this thread I do actually agree with you. However I would caution that in my somewhat more expansive experience it is a small thing to lie behind a keyboard. Carefully tailoring your words to the expectations and desires of another is far easier when you no longer have to worry about inflection, facial expression, and the thousand other cues that give away a liar. And while I would never warn someone away from an online relationship, in fact as you have pointed out it can be a wonderful thing, I am one to suggests caution.

teddyxo • Sep 29, 2019

I never said that this was as important as you guys are making it; I'm only stating that it does have some form of meaning to a successful or long term relationship. Yes, it is possible to dominate and submit to someone only and not find them attractive at all, but subconciously you'll always yearn for more because you want what's perfect for you. Personality goes a long way when it goes with a face you love more than anybody else. I don't believe you need any experience to at least have that. I may lack your long experience, but attraction, both mentally and physically, can fuel a relationship stronger together more than you realize.

And i'm only speaking accounting towards people getting in relationship with a possible love interest. Not just random fun with someone online.

Zedland​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2019

@Teddy, As a person of experience let me impart a lesson. You do you, because you know best what you are looking for. And if anyone tries to change you or suggests that you are wrong in your beliefs always ask why.

teddyxo • Sep 29, 2019

@Zedland Thank you~ I do believe this forum post was me asking why since the person who originally messaged me came at me as if i were just being cruel. I was only trying to explain that people are going to want someone they're fully attracted to - inside and out. It wasn't supposed as serious as it was made. )

Zedland​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2019

@Teddy, I think it was, but it might have run away. Okay, it definitely ran away.