Things you wished you knew when you started out?

Hammermon777​(dom male) • Jan 24, 2020

Why do they lie no experience, no honesty, no respect !!!

things I wished you knew when you started out?

thinker​(switch male){no} • Jan 24, 2020

I wish I had focused on getting in shape sooner for this
Learned how to do things sooner
To never pose as something as you are not but be truthful and honest
Desperation can drive your decisions and don't let desperation make you do something not wise

Sami A​(sub female) • Jan 25, 2020

That there is a softer side of Dominate, still fully a Dom but also more... 100% wish I knew that 10 to 15 years ago.

Needstaming​(sub female) • Jan 26, 2020

That this can be a very tough road. Its extremely hard to swift through the fakes and wannabes and find people that truly understand this lifestyle. Meaning that this is more than sex to most, and that some "Doms" use it as a way to abuse others.

Dominant Seeking Sub • Jan 26, 2020

As a DOM I agree this dynamic is not about the DOM beating his chest, beating the sub, and going outside of boundaries previously agreed to. It is about trust, honesty, and allowing the sub to trust enough to turn over her body, soul , mind, and power to a Dom that deserves her submissiveness.

Lil Foxy Baby​(sub female) • Jan 26, 2020

I'd say for a new sub be careful and mindful of sub frenzy. It's very easy to get caught up in the hype and getting that attention you crave, but not realizing it's from a fake poser is easy to do. I'm not naïve at all yet when I first dipped my toes in the lifestyle I was 35 and fooled completely because I was all about trying to please. I'd tell newer sub's be careful, do a lot of talk and communication with sub's and Dom's alike. Take your time.

Erick​(sub male) • Jan 26, 2020

I had no idea that on a website where people supposedly post messages with the purpose of meeting each other and forming relationships, there would be so many posters who say: "Do NOT message me. I am NOT interested in meeting you. I am ALREADY in a committed relationship. I do NOT want anything to do with you. If you message me, I will IGNORE you and BLOCK you. Do NOT bother me with ANY kind of communication. WHY DON'T YOU CREEPS UNDERSTAND THIS? AND SHOW ME SOME EFFING RESPECT!"

Dominant Seeking Sub • Jan 26, 2020

Erick,

From one Dom to another. There are plenty of women here searching. There are also women taken and only want to communicate with other subs...NOT DOMS. I have spoken with many. Before you can ask for respect you must give respect. Take a deep breath and understand not all women will be into you.... which is good. You should be looking for a fantastic sub that fits you and your wants not just a women with a vagina. Deep breath my friend your sub is out there ...sometimes it takes time.

Duke Montefort​(dom male) • Jan 26, 2020

It is hard to explain. I have never found a lover to commit to fully. It has been a road of physical, mental, and spiritual battle that has continued for over 2 decades. I doubt you'd understand, and I don't blame anyone for it. Because of it a song, flower, or seemingly more random thing has more value. Then all the gold in Fort Knox. I've meet many lost people whom I've shone the road. Success or failure I can not be sure of. What ever the future, I will walk forward pursuing a void of answers to the void of unanswered questions. Eventually my mind, body, and soul will harmonize and my journey complete.

Erick​(sub male) • Jan 26, 2020

I think there's another "Erick" on here somewhere.

He's apparently some guy who is a Dom, who is very impatient, who lacks any kind of understanding, who doesn't treat people with respect, who doesn't even understand what kind of sub he is looking for, and who thinks that women are just faceless, interchangeable vaginas.

Whoever he is, he sure does need to take a Deep Breath and think before he speaks.