What is more important -Compatibility or Chemistry

zash

4 years ago • Feb 9, 2020

LaVieEnRose wrote:

@zash I’m still only in the beginnings of one hopefully but I find it’s no different than a vanilla relationship, there are going to be compromises on both sides.

But a lot of Dom’s will tell you that it is really the sub that sets the tone in the relationship because as soon as the sub says nope a true Dom will respect that. So in some ways it is the Dom that is making the compromises HOWEVER as your relationship grows and changes so will the compromises. But that is why it is important to really take the time to know a Dom you’re interested in starting something with because you don’t want to end up in a situation where you find yourself uncomfortable with what is going on.

Thanks and I hope you have what you wished for

AKittenforSir(sub female){JohnBond}	AKittenforSir(sub female){JohnBond} 4 years ago • Feb 9, 2020 4 years ago • Feb 9, 2020 AKittenforSir(sub female){JohnBond} • Feb 9, 2020 Chemistry ignites a relationship and compatibility sustains it. Both are essential to thrive.
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ThirtyFourPointFive

4 years ago • Feb 10, 2020

I have had two long term romances, neither lasted more than 14 years. Apparently if you are me, you either need a compatible mate or you must look for a new spouse every 14 years..
This time I want a horny compatible woman that stays with me till I am dead.
I only need one, is that too much to ask

zash

4 years ago • Feb 10, 2020

tangledupinyou wrote:

Not really

I hope you find her

DrWakko

4 years ago • Feb 10, 2020

I think chemistry is part of compatibility and it is the chemistry which defines what type of relationship you have with the person. You can be 100% compatible with someone but there might not be a sexual chemistry between the two of you, so a deep and sexual relationship would be out of the question. And if there is nothing but sexual chemistry between the two of you then you become fuck buddies.

notavanilla

4 years ago • Feb 12, 2020

Compatibility and Chemistry are separate in our thinking but in reality I think that both are present in relationships that just don't die after meeting someone for the first time.
They are also separate in certain ways. In the interest of clarity maybe we can get a few people to define the differences between the two.
I think that this discussion can reveal a little more by getting these thoughts out in the open.

Curious

notavanilla

Island girl(sub female){Yes owned.}

4 years ago • Feb 13, 2020

Not in my relationship. Master sets the tone. I say no to nothing. I might say, can we talk about this first? I'm having difficulty with it... and we will discuss it respectfully. Then it is His decision whether or not to continue, and my job to make it work. That's our dynamic. TPE. The one rule is to take care of His property. If I think something is dangerous, or harmful to me in some way, we discuss it. He respects things that might be difficult for me and that I might need time and long discussions to come about to what He wants. That is my job though, to change my mind and willfully submit to His wishes. That's what our dynamic is all about. It isn't for everyone and it can be challenging to get there, but it's been worth it for me.

When I was looking for a Dom/me, I wanted someone intelligent and honest that I could respect. I figured that the rest would come with time, and it did.

DominusJ(dom male)

4 years ago • Feb 27, 2020

Interesting question but my thought is you have to have both to some degree.

That's like saying what's more important, air or water?
As we are humans, we can't survive on just one.

In the same thought, for a relationship to appreciate and grow, it can't survive on just one either.
If two people have chemistry but are not compatible, the incompatibility will tend to out weigh the sparks over time.
If two are compatible but have no chemistry, then you're most likely just friends or roommates sharing the same space.

If I were to meet someone who is beautiful with a pretty smile but has the IQ of a garden salad, that's a compatibility issue and It wouldn't last.

In the interest of the like minded people on this site.. If you found a perfect attractive Dom or sub but their ideal dynamic and limits were opposites, you'd hit a compatibility wall. Or, if on a compatibility search two people scored 100%... they may find not a single spark between them.

As to what level of each works for a real connection? That would be vastly different for each.