Ghosting pattern...?

Ghosting pattern...?

starvedKat​(sub female) • May 14, 2020

A little vent, I guess... But...
Idk why, but every time I’ve shown a dom my face, 99% of the time he’ll seem to just slowly fade off into the void...? 🤨
I don’t think I’m pretty, but am I really that terrible-looking?
The only men I remember continued talking were double my age and I’m not looking for such a huge age gap. Idk. Am I overthinking? Whatever it is, it’s not good for my loneliness, lol >>;;;;

Ah, I know I’m just needy, but I don’t want this post taken as something to guilt anyone. I’m just venting my frustration... However, if you’re no longer interested, then please just let me know! Please don’t keep me waiting for a reply because it feeds my anxiety and I don’t quite like it, ahhh >:’T

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 14, 2020

I'm not a male dom (obviously lol) but I wonder if they are actual really, seriously looking for a submissive or just a fantasy or just a little bit of spice in another wise ordinary life? When they see pictures, life becomes real, the person on the other side of the keyboard is no longer just that hot fantasy to wank to too. Sh*t got real. The person gets real. The emotions of what they doing then get real....maybe they bail because reality got real. I wouldn't see it as a negative but rather as a get of jail free card. You want someone that rocks your world as much as you rock theirs.

hang in there. You'll find the person that is right for you and that does really want, what they claim.

No Body​(dom male) • May 14, 2020

Older men have seen what they need of the world and are now looking to settle down now. The younger ones are looking for the next good time. A few will be different but they are hard to find. I was 35 when I had my first daughter and was told I needed to change if I wanted to be a daddy. I did leaving behind a world I knew for many years. A world the younger ones are looking to find. We live in a different age where it is more about "me" and what "I" want right now than what "we" can be together. At 58 I am looking for what life I can live in the time I have and for someone to share it with me. I will leave behind many things but I at least want to leave good memories with someone. When you are looking at 60 + years you think you have time. When looking at maybe 20 time is precious and so is everyday. You look for someone to spend not just time but quality time and hope make memories that will last her a life time. The young so called young doms do not see this and they want just the perfect looking subs so the go for looks not the heart. It takes time to be able to look into the eyes of someone and see the beautify that is inside. You have to wait till they grow up before they can. Some will learn sooner than others but with them it will take something devastating to show them life can be cut short so very fast.

You want life long and they want a long night. I hope you find what you want but till then be true to yourself. Stay strong stay safe stay beautiful.

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Learning } • May 14, 2020

What they’ve both said, although I’ve been ghosted by older guys as well so trust me even older guys can be a bit dickheadsd. It’s not you, it’s the fact that these guys are like Miss Bonnie said just looking for a hot piece of ass and when reality starts to hit them they panic and flee

IODiCeShOt • May 14, 2020

We’re all looking for a hot piece of ass

But seriously....I think there’s a laziness and throw away mentality going on now. The world is a small place with a seemingly endless conveyor belt supply of people online. Human’s don’t handle too much choice very well, it brings out the worst in them.

In the real world with likeminded people you’d be snapped up, so don’t beat yourself up over it that’s for sure!

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 14, 2020

It's NOT you

THEIR issues

THEIR problem

THEIR loss

(Been ghosted
Been dumped
wearing the T-shirt
But still liking who and what I am
as you should.)

Rise above their appalling behaviour despite of them, not because of them ...and be you !
xox

Re: Ghosting pattern...?

fluffybeardie​(sub female) • May 17, 2020

It's not you. Fuckboys are everywhere, even here. And a lot of guys (in my experience) will say they're Dominants but in reality have no idea what the word means. They think that being a "Dom" means they'll have all their needs taken care of without having to take care of their partner's needs. That is not a Dom. That is a vanilla narcissist.

Your heart and willingness to open yourself up to this type of new experience means you are beautiful, and that shines from within you, so don't you dare fucking say you aren't pretty. I don't even need to see your face to know this. All I needed to do was read your profile. I wish I had known as much about myself and my needs when I was 18. Would've saved me a lot of heartbreak during my 20s.

PawPawGirl​(sub female){Azzabackam} • May 17, 2020

There is a significant difference between a Dom and a dominant male. In the age of instant gratification a lot of people are settling for the porn version of BDSM, which is fun, don't get me wrong, but it never lasts too long before someone is looking for someone different to run lines with.

In my experience- vanilla world or here- whether they ghost you or give some other excuse, the reality is if there had been a deeper person connection rather than just a physical one, they would have stayed.

So when we take our time and try to forge that emotional connection first they move on. Or if we quickly jump into the physical, whether irl or sexting, that becomes the basis of the relationship and they end it if we try to start going deeper.

I had thought-hoped- that because of the trust and respect needed for a healthy relationship of this kind, that everyone would be more authentic and transparent. Where have all the good men gone?

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 17, 2020

[quote="PawPawGirl"]. '' Where have all the good men gone?''

When you find where..please let me know

TalentedOptimist​(dom male){open} • Nov 28, 2020

Coming across this way late in the game. Thought I could leave some insight.
Well-traveled army vet, so I've seen my fair share of how men of all ages handle ghosting.

A few things to note,

1. Everyone, men/women/trans, in each role has stories of how they got ghosted, dumped or f'd over
2. My record in Toronto, ON for dates that stood me up is 17 times. Consecutively. Never went back to that city.
it is easy to slide into the negative. F***boys, men not ready to settle down

Couple suggestions:

Build that communication bridge as soon as you meet. Bring it to light how if things go smoothly, what you expect, and if things are going to end, the ghosting thing isn't for you. Acknowledge it on point, if someone has been ghosted, reasons they would ghost. Bring that demon out of the closet on the first meeting or talk. job/car/place/goals/kids.

Understand that you will come across many men and women in the dom and sub aspects who have not figured their life/tastes out, do not know how to properly communicate or balance finances, will revert to isolation and social survival tactics when they feel cornered or exposed, and that some people have existing connections that will immediately sever your relationship. Some have crises, deployments, parents with COVID, I got ghosted on a first date, and turned out she really was in a car accident.

Anger and disappointment are easy to come by, being patient sucks. So just blitz the line with the truth every time and you can't miss.
Hope this helps and I'm looking forward to when everyone who posted here...posts their come-up or happy matchup.

Happy holidays.