Why

Why

Blargsaymeh • Dec 14, 2017

Why do people assume straight away you are a sub without knowing anything about you
What is it that makes them think it is ok to message you with the likes of “hi slave girl” and then don’t reply when you put them in their place for making assumptions?

Master Whatever​(dom male) • Dec 14, 2017

I think people are just beeing desperate and impatient. They will write this to many people and just start chatting with the one's, who give them the answer they where hoping to get.

Villanelle​(staff) • Dec 14, 2017

The assumption in BDSM, mostly due to stereotypes in porn and pop culture, is that the male is dominant and the female is submissive. There are plenty of female dominants and male submissives and all sorts of variations in between. To default to the stereotype is an indication the person is completely new to it all or at least very inexperienced. They might mean very well but just need a little education. That being said, I appreciate it is exhausting fielding all of those offers assuming something that just isn't true. Hang in there. Hopefully with our diverse community we can show people there are so many different types of people who are interested in BDSM.

Zeus2512​(dom male) • Dec 15, 2017

I like to look at a profile before contacting someone. Hopefully It will tell me what they are looking for and if we "match" then I can contact them with a view to getting to know them. I know on certain sites you have to pay to view a profile, but even a precis is visible. And Looking first saves a lot of refusals.

Angel07​(sub female){Owned} • Dec 15, 2017

I tend to ignore messages that start in that way. It just shows that the person didn't care enough to go through your profile and you shouldn't waste your time replying to people who never put in an effort to get to know you.

Blargsaymeh • Dec 15, 2017

I deleted what was on my profile didn’t see the point of it being there if no one is going to read it

Angel07​(sub female){Owned} • Dec 15, 2017

Come on its not like everybody is the same. There are people who actually go through your profile and trust me it's worth keeping the information for just the right person. Might take time and you might think there's no point to it but all the good things take time after all.

Miki • Dec 15, 2017

My first-week mailbox barrage came from guys who, for the most part, had looked at my profile first. So in my own little slice of experience, nothing was out-of-the-box in the messages i got-- except maybe that I was digitally buried in them.

Now that I am less-than new around here, my message box is blissfully quiet.

MsNevermore​(other female) • Dec 15, 2017

I am,one,who reads profiles. If I get a message and there is none, I will disengage. On both sides of the D/s coin, if you can't find the time or at least a few sentences to describe who and what you are...why should others have to use their time to figure it out?
I get why you thought to delete your profile but in honesty until I saw your response to your post...I wasn't going to respond after looking at your profile.

Blargsaymeh • Dec 15, 2017

Yea I did have stuff on there but got fed up of people not reading it or maybe just thinking they were so important that it did not apply to them
Who can say for sure