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Enamored Dominant or Just a Lunatic?

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trainerforall​(sub male)
8 months ago • 11/21/2020 12:42 pm
trainerforall​(sub male) • 11/21/2020 12:42 pm
Contracts are unforceable in all jurisdictions worldwide.
After 4 or 5 days you need to be very careful. You haven't even met this guy. Take your time, get to know each other and NEVER do anything you don't want to do.
My away, NOW
Taramafor​(sub male)
8 months ago • 11/21/2020 2:23 pm
Taramafor​(sub male) • 11/21/2020 2:23 pm
Yikes. A year old thread.

So, first of all, the breeding thing. Starting that "right away"? When it's been five days? That alone hints at the people involved being young and dumb and rushing in blind.

Granted, it CAN happen that quickly, or even sooner. In good ways. But if you're worrying about contracts to that extent then that's the equivalent of being too careless. There's a difference between quickly getting things established and rushing in blind. The initial "Happy feelings" have to be tempered with considering "ugly fallout's" down the line. You have to have a keen eye and good observation skills to be able to detect if someone is "Worrying too much" or "Being too careless". And it takes a talented, experienced eye to detect when someone doesn't worry, makes it about you and avoid all assumptions without being careless. And THOSE people won't even need contracts in the first place. They just make things happen.
8 months ago • 11/21/2020 7:05 pm
Miki • 11/21/2020 7:05 pm
Even with all such contracts not being worth the paper they are written on, he expected her to move in right away, transfer her phone to his control, etc. That's a recipe for an involuntary disappearing act. While it can seem as though it "happens that fast" those are not borne of genuine emotional bonding, more of lust and/or infatuation, neither of which lasts long term.
Yeah it's a year old thread and someone dug it out of the dust bin and since the O P has not made a recent follow-up post, from here on out I'll treat this topic as valid but the actual "case" settled one way or another.
Master Havok​(dom male)
8 months ago • 11/21/2020 9:16 pm
Master Havok​(dom male) • 11/21/2020 9:16 pm
I am curious how this all played out in the end. It is a very good instructional scenario on how quickly emotions can overwhelm common sense, and possibly just how dangerous it can be. I suspect the "dom" in question is either very young or very inexperienced. So many red flags for someone who only lives an hour or so apart. Living that close gives you so many options to get to know each other very well, over several months before the subject of living together should be discussed, let alone breeding and contracts. Take your time building a lasting relationship if that's what you seek, especially at that age. what's the hurry if you plan on spending your lives together? Plenty of SSC contact first.

I once knew a woman (who claimed) to have decided to back off from a man who seemed good and exciting over the phone, they also spoke for hours, but she decided it was moving to quickly just days before her flight. It turns out six months later he was all over the news. The Dom was Dennis Rader, also known as the BTK serial killer. Be safe out there, everyone.
Taramafor​(sub male)
8 months ago • 11/21/2020 10:30 pm
Taramafor​(sub male) • 11/21/2020 10:30 pm
Quote: While it can seem as though it "happens that fast" those are not borne of genuine emotional bonding, more of lust and/or infatuation, neither of which lasts long term.

That's what I meant when I said "happy feelings have to be tempered". it can happen that first. Quicker even. But ONLY with proper communication established. If the MOST you can say is "happy happy happy" without being realistic and pointing out concerns anywhere (current or possible down the line) then that's just not going to end well. It's why I focus on clearing up concerns ASAP so happiness can be focused on without shit biting you in the ass later.

Quote: I suspect the "dom" in question is either very young or very inexperienced

Observant as I am, to the point I can read people with very little to go on them, I can assure you that they are.

Quote: over several months

It can happen in days. Time does not equate to knowing. You can know someone for a year and THINK you know them, marry them then find out you didn't. You can know someone for a few days and know everything. That's down to communication. Not time. Depending on the concerns there are that will change how long it takes for concerns to be cleared up. If both involved have zero concerns yet are aware of things, then a relationship can happen VERY quickly. If however even ONE person has concerns and worries needlessly (or not enough) then that can slow things down by over a year or longer. That's all going to depend. The main issue is ignorance and knowing about the things that REALLY matter. Like not being close minded and projecting onto others because of bad past experience (or the most common viewpoint). Along with knowing about things like choice and control. etc.

Quote: what's the hurry if you plan on spending your lives together?

First of all, just because you're with one person doesn't mean you can't be with others as well. So "Sorting out this relationship" so you can focus on others factors in. You never know what tomorrow will throw at you. Another lover out of the blue could appear. You could slip on the front door step and break your neck. So you have to make the best of the current situation no matter what happens. Knowing how is the trick.

Think about it. There's a reason people want to do things now. And if you know how, you can. Without putting yourself in danger. But you have to KNOW how in order to do it. People that go slow for the sake of being slow simply worry and don't know how to make things happen quicker because of their overly cautious nature. Which could be leaving bad events to linger unresolved as well.

There's a number of factors at play. It gets technical. But boil it down to this. "Being aware and being direct with honesty and straight answers." Rest tends to fall into place after that. Even if you're not looking for a relationship. People will just love ya if you're that capable and honest.
ILCC​(sub gender queer)
8 months ago • 11/22/2020 12:26 am
ILCC​(sub gender queer) • 11/22/2020 12:26 am
I want to caution you about this. Maybe it is of some experiences that I have had, but this makes me nervous, mostly because the time thing. He seems to think that you should already know exactly what he wants and how he wants it right now, that is all well and good once you learn about each other, but this is too early for that.
LongerJohnny​(dom male)
8 months ago • 11/22/2020 10:28 am
LongerJohnny​(dom male) • 11/22/2020 10:28 am
Geez I seem to have opened up a whole wormy can. This thread is over a year old so I'm certain our advice on the subject is long since obsolete.
I was just saying hi, checking in.
meeshymeesh​(sub female){Quackers}
8 months ago • 11/22/2020 6:31 pm
meeshymeesh​(sub female){Quackers} • 11/22/2020 6:31 pm
Just another quick update guys, since forum post is back popping again.

We officially broke up last April, I had called it quits early May. Turns out he was more wanting to go through the motions of life (get married, have kids) as if life was a business deal. I didn’t end up pregnant lol nor was I close. I didn’t intend on getting pregnant or even engaged to someone like that that fast. I think that’s what made him lose interest in me. He had a mixture of mental issues going on towards the end of our relationship which I’ve later determined was likely due to the stress he was going through from trying to hide that he got another girl pregnant. So lesson learned here folks.

Sure I was young and dumb last year but I feel like some of y’all could at least cut me a little slack for at least questioning and investigating the relationship before actually having a kid with the guy lol. He also was not a serial killer, I’m smarter than what some of y’all wanna give credit for but that’s besides the point.

Going forward, I wish that when someone young or whoever they may be asks for advice or guidance that there be more consideration for the person (who might feel dumb or scared to ask already) . But luckily I was able to look past some of the remarks and get that a lot of you guys were genuinely concerned and I thank you all for that.
I feel like this post will now serve as a good example for other people who get into relationships and have some of the same doubts or even find fear in asking for advice.

A brat as always,
Byrdie​(dom female){rl only}
8 months ago • 11/22/2020 7:02 pm
Byrdie​(dom female){rl only} • 11/22/2020 7:02 pm
@Meeshy - I literally just checked your profile to see how long it’d been since you last logged on, what your relationship status was, and then checked your forum posts to see if you’d updated this thread.

I’m glad that you did your research, asked some opinions, and scooted before things got too weird.

Go, you.
LongerJohnny​(dom male)
8 months ago • 11/22/2020 9:30 pm
LongerJohnny​(dom male) • 11/22/2020 9:30 pm

I figured I should say something since I was responsible for restarting this whole conversation. I was just saying hi - I didn't think additional posts would happen!

I'm very relieved that you are all good. The response to your request for advice was overwhelming but I assure you it truly was meant as guidance and consideration, and out of genuine concern for you. I promise no one here thought you were stupid, in fact everyone thought you did exactly the smart thing by asking. So many of us have seen situations where an inexperienced sub is preyed on by or severely taken advantage of.

We had the best intentions, and I admit the Daddy part of me felt the sudden urge to come running to your rescue so I apologize for piling on during that whole conversation.

Good to hear from you, and well done avoiding serial killers!